Today we shift back to 2 Chronicles. This chapter is similar to 2 Kings 8 and talks about King Hezekiah.
“And he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that David his father had done.” – 2 Chronicles 29:2
David had hundreds to thousands of wives and concubines. Traditional biblical marriage at its best. 🙂
“He in the first year of his reign, in the first month, opened the doors of the house of the Lord, and repaired them.” – 2 Chronicles 29:3
But God is petty, so all you have to do is kiss his ass and he loves you. Doesn’t matter if you are a truly moral person. Say nice things to God and he’ll love you.
“Then they went in to King Hezekiah and reported: ‘We have purified the entire temple of the Lord, the altar of burnt offering with all its utensils, and the table for setting out the consecrated bread, with all its articles.’” – 2 Chronicles 29:18
God likes his shit clean.
“So they slaughtered the bulls, and the priests took the blood and splashed it against the altar; next they slaughtered the rams and splashed their blood against the altar; then they slaughtered the lambs and splashed their blood against the altar.” – 2 Chronicles 29:22
Sounds like a waste of food at a time when too many people are struggling to acquire adequate nourishment. Then again, God was never really about caring for people.
“The number of burnt offerings the assembly brought was seventy bulls, a hundred rams and two hundred male lambs—all of them for burnt offerings to the Lord. The animals consecrated as sacrifices amounted to six hundred bulls and three thousand sheep and goats.” – 2 Chronicles 29:32-33
If you were thinking that maybe only one animal was sacrificed, think again. Thousands of animals were sacrificed!
“So the service of the temple of the Lord was reestablished. Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced at what God had brought about for his people, because it was done so quickly.” – 2 Chronicles 29:35-36
Woohoo! We sacrificed a bunch of animals! We are the best! God loves us now!
This is another in a long line of chapters that clearly show how ridiculous the Bible is when actually read. To make God love you again you have to burn thousands of animals? Seriously? This is who Christians worship?
Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 30: Hezekiah Celebrates the Passover