1 Chronicles – Chapter 6: Levi

We’ve been reading through Psalms for the last few chapters and now it’s time to head back to 1 Chronicles, which thus far, has been very little but a listing of who’s who in the Bible.

“The sons of Levi:  Gershon, Kohath and Merari.” – 1 Chronicles 6:1

This continues for the next thirty verses.

“These are the men David put in charge of the music in the house of the Lord after the ark came to rest there.” – 1 Chronicles 6:31

Good to know…or not. 😊  Following this is a list of who gets what land.  Land, of course, that was already occupied by other people that God steals from.

That concludes this chapter of 1 Chronicles.  It’s a long chapter with eighty-one verses, but other than a who’s who and a listing of who gets what land, there’s little of importance to note.

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 81:  For the director of music. According to gittith. Of Asaph.

Matthew 7:7-8

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  Jesus states very clearly that your prayers will be answered.  All you need to do is simply ask.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7:7-8

That would be awesome…if it worked.  We, even Christians, know that you don’t always get what you ask for.  In fact, you often don’t get what you ask for.  Oh, but God works in mysterious ways.  Oh, but he answered your prayer, just not in the way you expected.  Oh, but he only gives you what you truly need.  Oh, but you must not have prayed hard enough or been truly devoted in your prayer.
There’s always some reason Christians give to explain why their prayers were not answered.  Yes, I know you prayed for a job promotion, but instead of a job promotion, God answered your prayer by giving your child bone cancer.  It may seem horrible, but he’s really helping you.  Your child’s bone cancer will give you the perseverance and determination needed to earn that job promotion.  WHAT…THE…FUCK!?!?!

How many people, every day, pray for the simple survival of themselves or their loved ones?  How many of those people die or see their loved one’s die of whatever they were praying to God to have stopped?  Did they not pray hard enough?  If you believe that you are truly a disgusting human being.

Let me be blunt.  Your prayers are not being answered by a god.  If your prayers are answered you are the one who answered those prayers.  You are the one who worked hard to earn that job promotion.  Your doctors are the ones who worked hard to save your life.  God did jack shit because he doesn’t exist.  If he does exist, he’s one hell of a dick for ignoring the prayers of those fighting for their very survival.

Psalms – Chapter 78: A maskil of Asaph.

One more chapter in Psalms before moving back to 1 Chronicles.

“I will open my mouth with a parable;” – Psalms 78:2

Yes, because parables that no one understands are the perfect way to get your point across.

“so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” – Psalms 78:6

Tell me again how we are supposed to teach unborn children?

“They would not be like their ancestors—a stubborn and rebellious generation whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him.” – Psalms 78:8

Those ancestors killed thousands, hundreds of thousands, and possibly millions of people in the name of God.  Yet they are stubborn and not loyal to God?  Does loyalty require a billion murders?

“The men of Ephraim, though armed with bows, turned back on the day of battle; they did not keep God’s covenant and refused to live by his law.” – Psalms 78:9-10

Good for the men of Ephraim.  They stood up against God and refused to advance God’s bloody agenda.  These men are far more moral than God.

“They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them.” – Psalms 78:11

Oh, I doubt that.  When you watch women raped and children murdered it is very hard to forget!

“But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant.” – Psalms 78:36-37

Wouldn’t you?  If there was a powerful being killing people left and right I too would bow down before him to avoid being killed.  Who in their right mind could be loyal to this god?  Fear does not breed loyalty.

“Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath.” – Psalms 78:38

Oh bullshit!  Restrains himself?  We see time and time again the brutal murder God brings to the people of the land.  Restraint?  ROFL!!!

“Again and again they put God to the test; they vexed the Holy One of Israel.” – Psalms 78:41

Anyone who demands loyalty should be put to the test.  Every leader should continually be tested by his/her people.  Good leaders are constantly tested.  Bad leaders demand obedience without question.

“He unleashed against them his hot anger, his wrath, indignation and hostility—a band of destroying angels.” – Psalms 78:49

So much for that restraint.  😊

“He drove out nations before them and allotted their lands to them as an inheritance; he settled the tribes of Israel in their homes.” – Psalms 78:55

The Israelites get their land, but at the expense of the natives already living in the land who have done NOTHING to deserve their land being stolen.

“Fire consumed their young men, and their young women had no wedding songs; their priests were put to the sword, and their widows could not weep.” – Psalms 78:63-64

More on God’s restraint.  😊

“Then the Lord awoke as from sleep, as a warrior wakes from the stupor of wine.” – Psalms 78:65

OMG!  This explains everything.  God has been drunk sleeping this whole time!!!

“And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.” – Psalms 78:72

And multiple wives.  Let us not forget David’s need for multiple wives.

That concludes Psalms 78.  It was a long chapter in which David details God’s great anger against the people of Israel, the very people God created as his chosen people.  We are told God has great restraint, but that is immediately followed by God having great anger and then killing a bunch of people.  I guess restraint in this case means restraint from killing everyone.

Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 6:  Levi

Psalms – Chapter 77: For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.

I’m not sure I can take more of David praising God and completely ignoring the horrible acts God has caused.  But alas, I must continue!

“I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.” – Psalms 77:1

To be blunt, this is David’s number one problem.

“Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?” – Psalms 77:8

Something that never existed cannot suddenly vanish or fail.

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.” – Psalms 77:11

What deeds?  The deeds of hardening hearts?  The deeds of murdering children?  The miracles of killing everyone on Earth and re-populating the planet through incest?

“Your ways, God, are holy.” – Psalms 77:13

Murder is not holy.  Hardening hearts is not holy.

“The clouds poured down water, the heavens resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.” – Psalms 77:17

This is simply a thunderstorm.  Not God.

More of the same in Psalms 77.  David praises God’s miracles, completely ignoring that these ‘miracles’ are often the result of hardening hearts and committing murder.  But hey, what is someone’s brutal murder is someone else’s unfailing love.

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 78:  A maskil of Asaph.

Psalms – Chapter 73: A psalm of Asaph.

After a few chapters checking out the genealogy of biblical times in 1 Chronicles, it’s time to switch back to Psalms.

“Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.” – Psalms 73:1

The second part of this verse is the key part.  Who is pure of heart?  Well, those God says are pure of heart!  How does God determine this?  Hard to tell.  Job was described as the best of the best, yet he was punished severely by God.

“Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.” – Psalms 73:6

No, that would be the god of the Bible.

“This is what the wicked are like—always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.” – Psalms 73:12

A perfect description of many Christians today, in particular those who are politicians in the U.S.

“Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence.” – Psalms 73:13

Um…David…you’ve killed thousands!  You are not pure of heart!

“When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.” – Psalms 73:16-17

If by final destiny you mean at the end of your blood stained sword, David, okay, I’ll buy that.

“How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!” – Psalms 73:19

All those children swept away by God’s terrors.  And for what?  To satisfy God’s bloodlust.

“You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.” – Psalms 73:24

God’s counsel to murder.  God’s counsel to rape and take multiple wives.  God’s counsel to destroy families.  Sounds like good morals to me.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalms 73:26

If God is the strength of your heart than you have a cold, black, dead heart!

“Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.” – Psalms 73:27

Well, to be fair, God destroys those who are faithful to him too.  Just ask Job.

To sum up this chapter, Psalms 73 is loaded with hypocrisy and flat out contradictions when compared with previous books/chapters.

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 77:  For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.

1 Thessalonians 4:7

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  Today’s verse comes from the book of 1 Thessalonians.

“For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:7

This verse is in reference to sexual impurity.  It’s funny that a God who allows, and in some cases commands, rape has the nerve to call on us “to live a holy life.”  Then again, it’s not God saying this, it is men of the time who want to control the masses.

It’s also very hypocritical that people are called upon to live a holy life when they’ve been commanded to murder in the name of God.  The takeaway?  I guess rape and murder are ‘pure’ in the eyes of God.  That’s definitely a heavy dose of CRAZY!