Over the last couple of chapters in Exodus we’ve learned how to build things and how to design garments for priests. Exodus 29 continues with other instructions from God, but some of them are, shall we say, odd.
“This is what you are to do to consecrate them, so they may serve me as priests: Take a young bull and two rams without defect.” – Exodus 29:1
The Old Testament is all about sacrificing animals to please God, but it’s verses like this that push defects in animals as being a problem to God. This leads to defects in humans being looked down upon as being wrong or less than perfect. Now for the weird.
“Take some of the bull’s blood and put it on the horns of the altar with your finger, and pour out the rest of it at the base of the altar. Then take all the fat on the internal organs, the long lobe of the liver, and both kidneys with the fat on them, and burn them on the altar.” – Exodus 29:12-13
It’s not enough to kill an animal as an offering to God. The animal’s blood must be spread all over the altar. In addition to being odd and disgusting, it’s not very hygienic. In a time with no modern medicine, one would think an all-knowing God would devise another, safer method to worship Him.
“But burn the bull’s flesh and its hide and its intestines outside the camp. It is a sin offering.” – Exodus 29:14
It’s okay to born the internal organs, but not the flesh and the intestines? First of all, the intestines are an organ. Secondly, WTF?!?!?! It’s a sin to burn the flesh and intestines?!?!? God teaches this instead of how to be a good person. Sigh.
“Then burn the entire ram on the altar. It is a burnt offering to the Lord, a pleasing aroma, a food offering presented to the Lord.” – Exodus 29:18
God is seriously messed up if he finds burning animal organs and body parts a pleasing aroma.
“Slaughter it, take some of its blood and put it on the lobes of the right ears of Aaron and his sons, on the thumbs of their right hands, and on the big toes of their right feet. Then splash blood against the sides of the altar.” – Exodus 29:21
Not only is blood being spread on the altar, it’s being spread on Aaron and his sons! Today we consider this the act of a crazy cult, but since most Christians do not read the Bible, they don’t know this was the direct word of God!
“It is the contribution the Israelites are to make to the Lord from their fellowship offerings.” – Exodus 29:28
Burning animal parts and no-yeast bread is the contribution God requires of the Israelites? Wouldn’t a simple command of “Be nice to each other” be a more effective command to the people? This is by no means an intelligent God.
“Aaron’s sacred garments will belong to his descendants so that they can be anointed and ordained in them. The son who succeeds him as priest and comes to the tent of meeting to minister in the Holy Place is to wear them seven days.” – Exodus 29:29-30
Have the garments been washed or are they still covered in animal blood gore? That’s going to be a long 7 days if the garments are still dirty!
“And if any of the meat of the ordination ram or any bread is left over till morning, burn it up. It must not be eaten, because it is sacred.” – Exodus – 29:34
OMG! This verse will someday show up in my Tuesday Crazy Bible Verse posts. Leftovers are sacred!!! ROFL!!!
“For the generations to come this burnt offering is to be made regularly at the entrance to the tent of meeting, before the Lord. There I will meet you and speak to you.” – Exodus 29:42
Speak to who, exactly? God has previously said He will speak to the people, but then only speaks to Moses (and possibly a few other leaders on the mountain depending on the verse you read).
“So I will consecrate the tent of meeting and the altar and will consecrate Aaron and his sons to serve me as priests. Then I will dwell among the Israelites and be their God.” – Exodus 29:44-45
Again, God’s ‘unconditional’ love comes with…wait for it…CONDITIONS! Now the Israelites must kill a bunch of animals and bake a bunch of bread with no yeast for 7 days. They must spread the blood all over the altar and on Aaron and his sons. That’s what it takes for God to love the Israelites and ‘dwell’ with them.
To sum up Exodus 29, God provides more instructions, but the chapter is more interesting because many of the instructions are simply crazy. Spreading ram blood all over Aaron? That’s, by definition, CRAZY!
Coming Soon: Exodus – Chapter 30: The Altar of Incense