Numbers – Chapter 33: Stages in Israel’s Journey

God is making it clear that He loves Him so good old slaughtering of innocents as evident in Numbers 31 and 32.  Surely He will apologize in Numbers 33, right?  Right?!?!

“Here are the stages in the journey of the Israelites when they came out of Egypt by divisions under the leadership of Moses and Aaron.” – Numbers 33:1

Hmmm….I guess the last two chapters were a bit intense and now it’s time to ease things up a bit lest anyone think that the God of the Bible is, oh, I don’t know…CRAZY!!!

“The Israelites set out from Rameses on the fifteenth day of the first month, the day after the Passover. They marched out defiantly in full view of all the Egyptians, who were burying all their firstborn, whom the Lord had struck down among them; for the Lord had brought judgment on their gods.” – Numbers 33:3-4

This chapter conveniently leaves out the fact that God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians many times, forcing them to do evil upon the Israelites.

“Aaron was a hundred and twenty-three years old when he died on Mount Hor.” – Numbers 33:39

Closer to God’s covenant with Noah in Genesis 6, but not quite.  Once again God breaks His own rule of humans living no more than 120 years.

“On the plains of Moab by the Jordan across from Jericho the Lord said to Moses, ‘Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places. Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess.’” – Numbers 33:50-53

Woohoo!  More slaughtering of innocents!  God is truly great!!!

“But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. And then I will do to you what I plan to do to them.” – Numbers 33:55-56

Just in case the Israelites are thinking of showing compassion, God makes it clear that they will be slaughtered should they disobey God’s command to slaughter these innocents.

That concludes Numbers 33.  Not as much slaughter and rape as the previous two chapters, but it does end with another command from God to slaughter an innocent group of people who are simply in the way.  There should be an 11th command stating “Thou shall slaughter and rape whenever I sayeth to slaughter and rape.”  Fuck you God.

Coming Soon:  Numbers – Chapter 34:  Boundaries of Canaan


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