Ezekiel 16:17

After several weeks of Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday looking in the New Testament, it is now time to switch back to the Old Testament.  This week I look into the book of the Bible that contains my very favorite Bible verse, Ezekiel 23:20.  That’s not the verse for the week, but I like to point it out whenever I can.  Go look it up and you’ll discover why.  J  Today’s verse comes a few chapters in Ezekiel before my favorite verse.

“You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.” – Ezekiel 16:17

So let me get this straight.  Someone stole your jewelry and melted it down and molded it into a male idol in which the thief then had sex with the idol?  Either that or the thief pimped out the male idol to have sex with others.  Wow!  Simply wow!!!  It doesn’t beat donkey balls, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less crazy!

Capitalization

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a short blog post on why or why not I capitalize “God”.  I received several comments and have thought about this for several days.  From this point forward I will capitalize “God” if it is referring to the god of the Bible.  However, I will not capitalize “he” or “him”, unless of course it is capitalized in a direct verse I am quoting from the Bible.  Capitalizing “God” links the words to the god of the Bible and not a random god of some other culture/religion.  The readers’ advice on capitalizing other words referring to God were excellent and I’ve re-thought my use of capitalization moving forward.  Thank you readers!

Deuteronomy 3: Defeat of Og King of Bashan

We are now three chapters into Deuteronomy and Moses is still preaching a recap of the Israelites travels from Egypt to the promised land.

“The Lord said to me, ‘Do not be afraid of him, for I have delivered him into your hands, along with his whole army and his land. Do to him what you did to Sihon king of the Amorites, who reigned in Heshbon.’” – Deuteronomy 3:2

In other words God is giving the Israelites permission to slaughter this group of people down to the very last man, woman, child, and innocent baby.  Biblical morals.  Got to love them!

“So the Lord our God also gave into our hands Og king of Bashan and all his army. We struck them down, leaving no survivors.” – Deuteronomy 3:3

Death to those evil children and babies!!!

“We completely destroyed them, as we had done with Sihon king of Heshbon, destroying every city—men, women and children.” – Deuteronomy 3:6

Yes, the Bible specifically mentions the slaughtering of children.

“At that time I commanded Joshua: ‘You have seen with your own eyes all that the Lord your God has done to these two kings. The Lord will do the same to all the kingdoms over there where you are going. Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.’” – Deuteronomy 3:21-22

God has more slaughter in store for people who are not the Israelites.

“Sovereign Lord, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?” – Deuteronomy 3:24

The slaughtering of children and babies is a “mighty work”?

“But commission Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he will lead this people across and will cause them to inherit the land that you will see.” – Deuteronomy 3:28

This verse is a reminder that God is not allowing Moses to enter the promised land.  Joshua will lead the Israelites instead.

That concludes Deuteronomy 3.  It really is sickening what is considered a great and mighty work in the Bible.  The slaughtering of every man, woman, child, and baby is somehow considered good and moral in the eyes of God.  God, therefore, if He exists, which He doesn’t, is more evil than Satan.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 4:  Obedience Commanded

Deuteronomy – Chapter 2: Wanderings in the Wilderness

Deuteronomy 1 ended with Moses in the middle of a speech to the Israelites.  Deuteronomy 2 picks up where 1 left off.

“The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.” – Deuteronomy 2:7

Uh…you have not lacked anything?  Seriously?  How about food?  Clean water?  Peace?  A place to live?  A life without the threat of constant death by God?

“Thirty-eight years passed from the time we left Kadesh Barnea until we crossed the Zered Valley. By then, that entire generation of fighting men had perished from the camp, as the Lord had sworn to them.  The Lord’s hand was against them until he had completely eliminated them from the camp.” – Deuteronomy 2:14-15

Yes, sounds like a loving God to me.  And thirty-eight years?  My 98 year old grandmother with one leg on a wheel chair missing a wheel can move faster than that!

“This very day I will begin to put the terror and fear of you on all the nations under heaven. They will hear reports of you and will tremble and be in anguish because of you.” – Deuteronomy 2:25

Yes, the greatest leaders always lead by fear, terror, and the threat of death.  God is one of the worst leaders in the history of, well, all time!!!

“But Sihon king of Heshbon refused to let us pass through. For the Lord your God had made his spirit stubborn and his heart obstinate in order to give him into your hands, as he has now done.” – Deuteronomy 2:30

OMFG!!!  God does it again.  To push His agenda and make the Israelites look good, He hardens the heart of another group of people (previously did this to the Egyptians).  Stop hardening peoples’ hearts and maybe, just maybe, peace will stand a chance!

“At that time we took all his towns and completely destroyed them—men, women and children. We left no survivors.” – Deuteronomy 2:34

Innocent children and babies slaughtered in the name of God.

That concludes Deuteronomy 2.  Moses recites the story of how God maliciously hardens the hearts (made stubborn) of another group of people such that the Israelites were justified in attacking and destroying them.  Biblical morals are amazing, aren’t they?!?!?!

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 3:  Defeat of Og King of Bashan

Deuteronomy – Chapter 1: The Command to Leave Horeb

All right, it’s time to start Deuteronomy so let’s jump right into it.  This chapter begins with Moses speaking to the Israelites and recounting much of what has already happened in the Bible.

“In the fortieth year, on the first day of the eleventh month, Moses proclaimed to the Israelites all that the Lord had commanded him concerning them.” – Deuteronomy 1:3

Forty years is quite a long time to travel what is not a long distance.  Then again, the Israelites only travel on clear days, as we learned earlier in the Bible.

“Go in and take possession of the land the Lord swore he would give to your fathers—to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—and to their descendants after them.” – Deuteronomy 1:8

What’s not mentioned here is that in order to do this, the people already living in the land will be slaughtered.

“The Lord your God has increased your numbers so that today you are as numerous as the stars in the sky.” – Deuteronomy 1:10

How, exactly?  In Numbers God killed several thousand Israelites because He was upset at them for asking questions.  The numbers killed were large, not small, so it’s unlikely the numbers of the Israelites have increased.  Moses even states a contradiction later in this chapter when he says many Israelites were killed when they attacked another group without the authority of God.

“So I took the leading men of your tribes, wise and respected men, and appointed them to have authority over you—as commanders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties and of tens and as tribal officials.” – Deuteronomy 1:15

Men and only men.  The Bible makes it clear women are unfit to lead.

“It is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us.” – Deuteronomy 1:25

A land that is already OCCUPIED!!!  The people living in this land have done NOTHING to the Israelites!  If a God exists, He created these people to die horrible deaths in war.  A creator has that right, but it makes said creator unjust and unmoral.

“Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness.’” – Deuteronomy 1:29-31

Yes, but to do so God had to harden the hearts of the Egyptians.  God caused the Egyptians to commit evil against the Israelites.  The Egyptions are not to blame.  God is.

“Because of you the Lord became angry with me also and said, ‘You shall not enter it, either.’” – Deuteronomy 1:37

Hmmm….Moses is a bit bitter and blames the Israelites for God punishing Moses.

“And the little ones that you said would be taken captive, your children who do not yet know good from bad—they will enter the land.” – Deuteronomy 1:39

Wait a second.  Moses acknowledges that the children do not yet know good from bad.  I agree.  Yet God has chosen over and over to punish the children of adults who commit sins.  This punishment often extends to several generations and includes children not yet born.  Children who do not yet know good from bad are punished by God.  Sounds like a just and moral God to me.  NOT!

That’s the end of Deuteronomy 1, but Moses’ speech is not yet finished.  We’ll pick it up again in Deuteronomy 2.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 2:  Wanderings in the Wilderness

Luke 12:47-48

Jesus was a great guy, right?  As you already know from reading this blog, the answer is a definite no and Luke 12:47 provides more evidence Jesus was not a nice, caring guy.

“The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows.  But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows.” – Luke 12:47-48

First of all, let’s make it clear what ‘servant’ means.  A servant in the Bible is not a servant as we define a servant today.  A servant in the Bible is a slave.  Jesus is telling us that it is okay to beat your slave as a punishment!  Not only that, the slave who does something he does not know is wrong is still punished by a beating.  Granted, Jesus makes it clear this slave in the second scenario should not be beaten as badly, but it’s still a beating!  Wow Jesus, you’re such a great guy!

The other thing to point out here is that Jesus condones slavery.  Sorry, but you can’t be a nice, moral guy if you condone slavery and then say it’s okay and expected to beat your slave.

An Introduction to Deuteronomy

Now that Numbers is finished it’s time to start discussing the book of Deuteronomy.  Let me begin with a short introduction to the book.

Moses is still with us, preaching to the Israelites and guiding them to the promised land.  The Israelites don’t quite make it to the promised land in Deuteronomy, but they’re close.  Moses, however, doesn’t make it and dies at the end of the chapter.  Yes, I know, spoiler alert not given, but you must know that Moses dies, right?

Who wrote Deuteronomy?  Traditionally Moses is credited with authoring Deuteronomy but this is clearly not true.  Moses certainly can’t write the story of his own death.  So who really wrote Deuteronomy?  We don’t know.  Basically it’s the same answer as many of the chapters of the Bible in which the author(s) is unknown.

What else can we expect in Deuteronomy?  I think it’s safe to assume we can expect death, ridiculous rules, misogyny, and some plain old craziness.  Tune in Wednesday for the first chapter of Deuteronomy.

A Recap of Numbers

In the last blog post I finished up the book of Numbers.  Numbers started with several chapters on the numbers of people in specific tribes.  Later we learned the names of the leaders of the tribes as well as more numbers through a census.  The book of Numbers was not, however, limited to chapters on numbers.  There was a great deal of bloodbath in which God commanded Moses and the Israelites to slaughters the non-Israelites they encountered.  What did these slaughtered tribes do to deserve this?  Nothing, other than being in the way of the Israelites travel path to the promised land.

That’s not the end.  In addition to numbers and slaughter, Numbers was filled with misogyny.  The married women (and whores as the Bible would call them) were slaughtered, but the virgins and children (both male and females) were raped and captured as slaves.  Not to be outdone by Himself, God orders that the Israelite women can only marry within their father’s tribe.  In other words the women are only allowed to marry their cousins, because this is apparently the only solution God can come up with regarding inheritances.

To put it simply, a typical Bible chapter.  🙂

Numbers – Chapter 36: Inheritance of Zelophehad’s Daughters

I love it when a Bible chapter title refers to a female because you know, just know, that it is going to be filled with misogyny!  Why is it, again, women, and men who care about women, follow the Christian bible?  Let’s dig in and see what we find.

“They said, ‘When the Lord commanded my lord to give the land as an inheritance to the Israelites by lot, he ordered you to give the inheritance of our brother Zelophehad to his daughters. Now suppose they marry men from other Israelite tribes; then their inheritance will be taken from our ancestral inheritance and added to that of the tribe they marry into. And so part of the inheritance allotted to us will be taken away.’” – Numbers 36:2-3

OMG!!!  How could those women possibly marry someone of their own choosing?!?!?!  The travesty!!!

“This is what the Lord commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan.” – Numbers 36:6

Wow!  That’s one big contradiction.  They can marry anyone they please, but only from the tiny fraction of men within their father’s tribal clan.  How generous of God.

“Zelophehad’s daughters—Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milkah and Noah—married their cousins on their father’s side.” – Numbers 36:11

So instead of figuring out how to deal with inheritances in a rational manner, God requires women to marry their cousins.  Biblical morality at its finest!

That’s it for Numbers 36.  A short chapter designed to make sure women know their place in society.  Their place is to keep quiet and let the men make the decisions.  Oh, and marry their cousins.  I think more pastors should discuss cousin marriage in their sermons!

That concludes the book of Numbers!  It started off with some numbers and ended with forcing women to marry their cousins.  Yep, makes perfect sense.  LOL!

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 1:  The Command to Leave Horeb 

Mark 4:25

It’s crazy Bible verse Tuesday and the focus remains, at least for one more week, on the words of Jesus.

“Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” – Mark 4:25

Fantastic!  This is part of Jesus’ lamp on a stand parable, but the last sentence is very clear.  Those who have will continue to have and have more.  Those who do not have will continue to not have and have even less.  Sucks to be you if you’re poor!

The most horrible thing about this verse is that too many Christians take the words of Jesus literally and follow statements like this.  I’ve seen this verse used as a reason to deny health coverage to everyone and to further cut social safety nets to the less advantaged.  I’ve even seen this verse used to justify cutting social security benefits to the elderly!  Many Christians like to brag about how much they give to charity, but it’s not charity if your money goes to build a mega church or pay a pastor’s salary.  In the end, only a tiny fraction of church tithings go to help the disadvantaged.  Just as Jesus said in Mark 4:25.  J