In our last look into Deuteronomy we learned that God does not like it when you worship other false idols, even the ones he himself sends to the people. In this chapter we learn about the differences between clean and unclean food. Something tells me that unclean food is something much more than simply dropping clean food on the ground. 🙂
“You are the children of the Lord your God. Do not cut yourselves or shave the front of your heads for the dead for you are a people holy to the Lord your God.” – Deuteronomy 14:1-2
Um, okay, I won’t shave before the next funeral I attend. WTF?
“These are the animals you may eat: the ox, the sheep, the goat, the deer, the gazelle, the roe deer, the wild goat, the ibex, the antelope and the mountain sheep. You may eat any animal that has a divided hoof and that chews the cud.” – Deuteronomy 14:4-6
Okay, that’s pretty simple. Eat only the animals with divided hooves and those that chew their cud. Got it.
“However, of those that chew the cud or that have a divided hoof you may not eat the camel, the rabbit or the hyrax. Although they chew the cud, they do not have a divided hoof; they are ceremonially unclean for you.” – Deuteronomy 14:7
Oh for crying out loud, there are exceptions to the rule. Also, rabbits don’t chew their cud. God needs a basic course in zoology.
“The pig is also unclean…” – Deuteronomy 14:8
I can’t eat bacon!?!?!?! FUCK YOU GOD! ROFL! The section on what to eat and what not to eat continues for water animals, flying animals, and insects. It ends with this nugget of valuable information.
“Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.” – Deuteronomy 14:21
Um…okay. Glad we got that out of the way. LOL! Next this chapter moves on to tithing.
“And do not neglect the Levites living in your towns, for they have no allotment or inheritance of their own.” – Deuteronomy 14:27
In the context of tithing in this chapter, giving a tenth of your crops and livestock to God for the Levites makes sense. It’s socialism at its finest and that’s a good thing! Today, however, when tithing basically means paying a pastor’s salary, paving the church parking lot, putting on a new church roof, etc., it’s ridiculous that religions have convinced their flocks to give 10% of their salary to the church. Can some people afford 10%? Sure, but in today’s society, most cannot. Tithing today forces people into further poverty or closer to poverty. I tithed for about 10 months before coming to my senses and holy cow how nice it was to have that money back!!!
The second part of Deuteronomy 14 makes sense in the context given. The Levites have no crops or livestock and need to rely on tithing to survive. I have no problems with this. The first part of this chapter is simply crazy. God says what to eat and what not to eat with no justification. God is wrong on rabbits chewing their cud. God is super wrong when it comes to not eating bacon. God would have more followers if he allowed his people to eat bacon. 🙂
Coming Soon: Deuteronomy – Chapter 15: The Year for Canceling Debts