Leviticus 12:5

Both the New Testament and Old Testament are filled with their fair share of crazy, but for this Tuesday’s Crazy Bible Verse, I head back into the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.

“If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.” – Leviticus 12:5

This particular chapter discusses how to purify oneself after childbirth.  To purify after the birth of a daughter, the woman must wait two weeks to become clean and then 66 days to be purified.  Why is this crazy?  Because right before this it is discussed that a woman who gives birth to a SON only has to wait 7 days to be clean and 33 days to be purified.

The simple act of bearing a daughter instead of a son doubles the time to be clean and purified.  Don’t you just love the misogyny in the Bible?  Whoever thought that a baby born without a penis could require a mother to wait double the time to become clean and pure again?  Sigh.

Psalms – Chapter 91: A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

I finished up Deuteronomy last week, but before moving to the next book, there’s a chapter in Psalms that comes next in chronological order.  Psalms 91 brings us a prayer of Moses.

“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress my God, in whom I trust.’” – Psalms 91:2

 

Why would you trust a god who promised you a land of flowing milk and honey, but then denied you said land?  Moses did more than any other Israelite, but didn’t reach the promised land.  Why trust this god?

“You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.” – Psalms 91:5-6

Except you are required to fear the god that brings all of this.

If you say, ‘The Lord is my refuge,’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.” – Psalms 91:9-10

The Christian apologist response to bad things happening to people is usually that those people didn’t pray hard enough or believe in God hard enough.

“’Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.’” – Psalms 91:14

We have the example of Job and his family to point out the fallacy in this verse.

“He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” – Psalms 91:15

Except of course when he doesn’t.

Psalms 91 comes across as this sweet little story about how God loves you and will save you from harm and evil.  Yet if you actually read the Bible, God does the exact opposite of saving people.  He does nothing but bring evil at and harm the Israelites, including Moses.  So what to learn from this chapter?  God is a liar.

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 1:  Joshua Installed as Leader

Christian Response to Bullying

Not that long ago, while browsing through my Facebook feed, a parent had posted a story about their child being bullied at school, asking for advice on what to do.  Believe it or not, but there were several “I’ll pray for you” posts.  Huh?  The original poster didn’t ask for prayers.  S/he asked for advice!  One Christian offered the great ‘advice’ that it’s all part of God’s plan.  This poster took it further, saying that there will always be bullies and everyone just needs to figure out how to deal with bullies.  That’s you’re great advice?  Pray about it and just deal with it?  Well fuck you!  We’re just supposed to accept bullies because it’s part of God’s plan?  If being bullied is part of God’s plan, well, that god is a fucking asshole and deserves no worship from anyone.

It amazes me the responses people give on Facebook as it relates to religion.  The original poster was a better person than me as I would not have sat by quietly.  That poster would have gotten a Facebook beat down from me for their bullshit, it’s God’s way, response.  Fuck…that.

Sorry for the profanity.  But frankly, I’m still fuming after reading my Facebook feed.

Deuteronomy Recap

Before moving on to Psalms to discuss a chapter on Moses, let me do a quick recap of the book of Deuteronomy which I finished in the last post.

To put it simply, Deuteronomy was a disgusting chapter.  For the most part, Deuteronomy is a recap of what has already happened in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers.  There’s a lot of war and bloodlust from God and the Israelites.  God continues to demand the Israelites destroy any who are not like them.  In many cases, every man, woman, and child is demanded to be put to death.  The women are sometimes raped and kept as slaves.  That’s worse than death.  There’s a lot of misogyny in this chapter.  Men are clearly superior to woman in the eyes of God as written by mortal men.

There are definitely no morals to take away from this chapter.  There are a couple of verses that make sense, but they are surrounded by verse after verse of nonsense.  This chapter even discusses the eating of babies as a punishment.  Seriously!  God says he will make mothers and fathers who do not obey him eat their own children!  Yikes!  Yet this is somehow the god a huge chunk of the world’s population worships!  In several countries, the majority religion is Christianity.  Given the Bible says many evil and horrible things, this is simply amazing…and deeply disturbing.

I’m glad to be done with Deuteronomy, but I highly suspect things do not improve from here.  I already know there are many, many nonsense verses in the New Testament, as you can see from several of the Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday posts I’ve published.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 34: The Death of Moses

We have finally reached the end of Deuteronomy and it ends with the death of Moses.  The guy who has been a central figure of the last four chapters is about to die.  Remember that Moses (unlikely he ever existed) could have done none of what he did had God not hardened the hearts of the Egyptians.

“And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said.  He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.” – Deuteronomy 34:5-6

How convenient that to this day no one knows where his grave is.  It’s almost as if Moses never existed!  🙂

“Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” – Deuteronomy 34:7

Well, at least this time God kept his covenant with Noah and Moses did not live older than 120 years.

“Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him.” – Deuteronomy 34:9

Yeah…that’s not how knowledge transfer happens.

“Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land.  For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.” – Deuteronomy 34:10-12

Again, how convenient that no other prophet has risen in 2,000+ years.  It’s almost as if the Bible is a story of fiction!  🙂

That concludes this chapter and the book of Deuteronomy.  So long Moses, you’ll be missed.  Or not.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 91:  A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

Deuteronomy 28:30

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week I’ve pulled a verse from the book of Deuteronomy, which has no shortage of crazy.

“You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her.” – Deuteronomy 28:30

This verse is one among many verses that describe what God will do to you if you disobey him.  In this case, if you disobey God and you are engaged to be married, God will have your fiancé raped.  Lovely.  So let me get this straight.  The man does something wrong (and let’s assume it really was a wrong and not some dumb thing for God to get his kicks and giggles) yet the woman gets raped.  Misogyny much?!?!

God’s punishment in this case is to punish someone else who didn’t commit the crime.  A woman is to be raped for something her fiancé did?  Wow!  Simply wow!  And this is a god who supposedly loves everyone?  Hardly.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 33: Moses Blesses the Tribes

In the last chapters we learned Moses is about to die so now it’s time for Moses to bless the people.

“Surely it is you who love the people; all the holy ones are in your hand.” – Deuteronomy 32:3

Sorry Moses, but God does not love the people.  No god who demands as much blood as this god love the people.

“He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’” – Deuteronomy 32:27

Well, I’m sure God will drive out the enemies, but God has an odd definition of who an enemy is.  To God, anyone he doesn’t like at that particular moment is an enemy, regardless of what that person has done or hold that person is.  A three month old baby can (and has been) the enemy in the eyes of God.

I’m keeping this short as there’s not much to say about this chapter.  Moses is blessing the people and praises God over and over.  Moses is trying to shed a good light on God, but anyone who reads the Bible prior to this knows that God is not a good being.  God wants death and destruction.  Not love.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 34:  The Death of Moses

Thoughts and Prayers

We’ve all seen Facebook posts where someone posts a struggle they are going through and asks for prayers.  The comments are then filled with “praying for you” and “prayers” style comments.  Obviously these comments do nothing to actually help the struggling person, but if that person is very religious, I suppose those comments provide a bit of comfort knowing they have friends.

What I saw a few days ago, however, pissed me off to no end.  A Facebook friend of mine posted that her grandfather died and asked for thoughts to be sent to her grandmother who is struggling mightily with her loss.  The friend did NOT ask for prayers.  I don’t know that this friend is an Atheist, but I wouldn’t be surprised.  This friend is definitely someone who loves science and thinks skeptically.

Despite asking for thoughts, most of the comments offered “prayers”.  This is not what upset me.  What upset me was a specific comment from someone I don’t know that said:

“How about I send my prayers?  Prayers do far more than thoughts.”

Are you fucking kidding me?  What kind of asshole do you have to be to say that?  Offer your prayers, that’s fine, but don’t throw a religious jab at a person going through a tough time simply because they did not ask for prayers.  Fuck you!

The friend didn’t comment.  Obviously she’s a better person than me, because if that happened to me there would have been a Facebook throw-down.  Hopefully no one ever will.  I know prayers will be offered and that’s fine.  I know they don’t do anything, but someone offering their prayers is not harming me.  But if anyone every attacks my Atheism when I share a struggle, well, be prepared for me to fight back.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 32: The Song of Moses

We are closing in on Moses’ death and the end of Deuteronomy, but first, a song.

“I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!” – Deuteronomy 32:3

If by great you mean filled with bloodlust and demanding everyone fear him, then sure, go with great.

“He is the Rock, his works are perfect and all his ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.” – Deuteronomy 32:4

Perfect?  He killed off everyone except for Noah and his close family because his creations went wrong.  That’s not perfect!  Just?  ROFL!!!  Is it just to kill innocent babies?  Is it just to treat women as less than men?  No.  This is not a just nor perfect god.

“They made him jealous with their foreign gods and angered him with their detestable idols.” – Deuteronomy 32:16

How is it possible for the creations of a perfect god to do wrong and make this god jealous and angry?  That’s not the definition of a perfect being.

“The Lord saw this and rejected them because he was angered by his sons and daughters.” – Deuteronomy 32:19

Well what did God expect?  He’s been a horrible parent!  He even had all of his creations, except a couple, destroyed in a flood!

“For a fire will be kindled by my wrath, one that burns down to the realm of the dead below. It will devour the earth and its harvests and set afire the foundations of the mountains.” – Deuteronomy 32:22

Don’t forget that God loves you.  LOL!

“The young men and young women will perish, the infants and those with gray hair.” – Deuteronomy 32:25

More killing of innocent babies.

“Rejoice, you nations, with his people, for he will avenge the blood of his servants; he will take vengeance on his enemies and make atonement for his land and people.” – Deuteronomy 32:43

And if that means killing babies and raping women and children, so be it!

“he said to them, ‘Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.’” – Deuteronomy 32:46

In other words the Israelites are commanded to scare the shit out of their children.  It’s the only way to make people believe this utter bullshit!

“There on the mountain that you have climbed you will die and be gathered to your people, just as your brother Aaron died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people.” – Deuteronomy 32:50

The end of Moses is close.  At least he gets to die on a mountain!

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 33:  Moses Blesses the Tribes

Deuteronomy – Chapter 31: Joshua to Succeed Moses

We’re getting closer to the end of Deuteronomy and, SPOILER ALERT, Moses is about to die!  This chapter focuses on Moses’ successor.

“Then Moses went out and spoke these words to all Israel: ‘I am now a hundred and twenty years old and I am no longer able to lead you.’” – Deuteronomy 31:1-2

If you don’t see this as a problem then please start thinking for yourself.  Stop taking what others say as absolute truth and use your critical thinking skills to think skeptically.

“Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.’” – Deuteronomy 31:7

Hopefully Moses was a good teacher so Joshua can continue Moses’ legacy of fooling the people into believing nonsense.

“Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the Lord your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.” – Deuteronomy 31:13

And therein lies the problem with religion.  It teaches you to teach your kids to FEAR an imaginary sky daddy.  Religion succeeds through indoctrination and fear.  Take that away and religion dies.

“And the Lord said to Moses: ‘You are going to rest with your ancestors, and these people will soon prostitute themselves to the foreign gods of the land they are entering. They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them.’” – Deuteronomy 31:16

Of course the Israelites must rebel for the Bible could not continue without a rebellion.  Not enough fear has been put into the Bible to indoctrinate children for millennia to come.

“For I know that after my death you are sure to become utterly corrupt and to turn from the way I have commanded you. In days to come, disaster will fall on you because you will do evil in the sight of the Lord and arouse his anger by what your hands have made.” – Deuteronomy 31:29

This is the rambling of an old man on his death bed with occasional coherent chants of “Fuck you all!  Fuck you all to death!”

That concludes Deuteronomy 31.  Moses is still alive but his end is near.  Command of the Israelites has been handed over to Joshua who will lead them into the land of flowing milk and honey.  Anyone else picture literal rivers of milk and honey?  Is it good to mix honey with milk?  Does that promote mold growth?  Hmmm.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 32:  The Song of Moses