Leviticus 12:5

Both the New Testament and Old Testament are filled with their fair share of crazy, but for this Tuesday’s Crazy Bible Verse, I head back into the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.

“If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.” – Leviticus 12:5

This particular chapter discusses how to purify oneself after childbirth.  To purify after the birth of a daughter, the woman must wait two weeks to become clean and then 66 days to be purified.  Why is this crazy?  Because right before this it is discussed that a woman who gives birth to a SON only has to wait 7 days to be clean and 33 days to be purified.

The simple act of bearing a daughter instead of a son doubles the time to be clean and purified.  Don’t you just love the misogyny in the Bible?  Whoever thought that a baby born without a penis could require a mother to wait double the time to become clean and pure again?  Sigh.

Psalms – Chapter 91: A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

I finished up Deuteronomy last week, but before moving to the next book, there’s a chapter in Psalms that comes next in chronological order.  Psalms 91 brings us a prayer of Moses.

“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress my God, in whom I trust.’” – Psalms 91:2


Why would you trust a god who promised you a land of flowing milk and honey, but then denied you said land?  Moses did more than any other Israelite, but didn’t reach the promised land.  Why trust this god?

“You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.” – Psalms 91:5-6

Except you are required to fear the god that brings all of this.

If you say, ‘The Lord is my refuge,’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.” – Psalms 91:9-10

The Christian apologist response to bad things happening to people is usually that those people didn’t pray hard enough or believe in God hard enough.

“’Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.’” – Psalms 91:14

We have the example of Job and his family to point out the fallacy in this verse.

“He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” – Psalms 91:15

Except of course when he doesn’t.

Psalms 91 comes across as this sweet little story about how God loves you and will save you from harm and evil.  Yet if you actually read the Bible, God does the exact opposite of saving people.  He does nothing but bring evil at and harm the Israelites, including Moses.  So what to learn from this chapter?  God is a liar.

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 1:  Joshua Installed as Leader

Christian Response to Bullying

Not that long ago, while browsing through my Facebook feed, a parent had posted a story about their child being bullied at school, asking for advice on what to do.  Believe it or not, but there were several “I’ll pray for you” posts.  Huh?  The original poster didn’t ask for prayers.  S/he asked for advice!  One Christian offered the great ‘advice’ that it’s all part of God’s plan.  This poster took it further, saying that there will always be bullies and everyone just needs to figure out how to deal with bullies.  That’s you’re great advice?  Pray about it and just deal with it?  Well fuck you!  We’re just supposed to accept bullies because it’s part of God’s plan?  If being bullied is part of God’s plan, well, that god is a fucking asshole and deserves no worship from anyone.

It amazes me the responses people give on Facebook as it relates to religion.  The original poster was a better person than me as I would not have sat by quietly.  That poster would have gotten a Facebook beat down from me for their bullshit, it’s God’s way, response.  Fuck…that.

Sorry for the profanity.  But frankly, I’m still fuming after reading my Facebook feed.

Deuteronomy Recap

Before moving on to Psalms to discuss a chapter on Moses, let me do a quick recap of the book of Deuteronomy which I finished in the last post.

To put it simply, Deuteronomy was a disgusting chapter.  For the most part, Deuteronomy is a recap of what has already happened in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers.  There’s a lot of war and bloodlust from God and the Israelites.  God continues to demand the Israelites destroy any who are not like them.  In many cases, every man, woman, and child is demanded to be put to death.  The women are sometimes raped and kept as slaves.  That’s worse than death.  There’s a lot of misogyny in this chapter.  Men are clearly superior to woman in the eyes of God as written by mortal men.

There are definitely no morals to take away from this chapter.  There are a couple of verses that make sense, but they are surrounded by verse after verse of nonsense.  This chapter even discusses the eating of babies as a punishment.  Seriously!  God says he will make mothers and fathers who do not obey him eat their own children!  Yikes!  Yet this is somehow the god a huge chunk of the world’s population worships!  In several countries, the majority religion is Christianity.  Given the Bible says many evil and horrible things, this is simply amazing…and deeply disturbing.

I’m glad to be done with Deuteronomy, but I highly suspect things do not improve from here.  I already know there are many, many nonsense verses in the New Testament, as you can see from several of the Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday posts I’ve published.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 34: The Death of Moses

We have finally reached the end of Deuteronomy and it ends with the death of Moses.  The guy who has been a central figure of the last four chapters is about to die.  Remember that Moses (unlikely he ever existed) could have done none of what he did had God not hardened the hearts of the Egyptians.

“And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said.  He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.” – Deuteronomy 34:5-6

How convenient that to this day no one knows where his grave is.  It’s almost as if Moses never existed!  🙂

“Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” – Deuteronomy 34:7

Well, at least this time God kept his covenant with Noah and Moses did not live older than 120 years.

“Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him.” – Deuteronomy 34:9

Yeah…that’s not how knowledge transfer happens.

“Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land.  For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.” – Deuteronomy 34:10-12

Again, how convenient that no other prophet has risen in 2,000+ years.  It’s almost as if the Bible is a story of fiction!  🙂

That concludes this chapter and the book of Deuteronomy.  So long Moses, you’ll be missed.  Or not.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 91:  A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

Deuteronomy 28:30

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week I’ve pulled a verse from the book of Deuteronomy, which has no shortage of crazy.

“You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her.” – Deuteronomy 28:30

This verse is one among many verses that describe what God will do to you if you disobey him.  In this case, if you disobey God and you are engaged to be married, God will have your fiancé raped.  Lovely.  So let me get this straight.  The man does something wrong (and let’s assume it really was a wrong and not some dumb thing for God to get his kicks and giggles) yet the woman gets raped.  Misogyny much?!?!

God’s punishment in this case is to punish someone else who didn’t commit the crime.  A woman is to be raped for something her fiancé did?  Wow!  Simply wow!  And this is a god who supposedly loves everyone?  Hardly.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 33: Moses Blesses the Tribes

In the last chapters we learned Moses is about to die so now it’s time for Moses to bless the people.

“Surely it is you who love the people; all the holy ones are in your hand.” – Deuteronomy 32:3

Sorry Moses, but God does not love the people.  No god who demands as much blood as this god love the people.

“He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’” – Deuteronomy 32:27

Well, I’m sure God will drive out the enemies, but God has an odd definition of who an enemy is.  To God, anyone he doesn’t like at that particular moment is an enemy, regardless of what that person has done or hold that person is.  A three month old baby can (and has been) the enemy in the eyes of God.

I’m keeping this short as there’s not much to say about this chapter.  Moses is blessing the people and praises God over and over.  Moses is trying to shed a good light on God, but anyone who reads the Bible prior to this knows that God is not a good being.  God wants death and destruction.  Not love.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 34:  The Death of Moses