Judges – Chapter 13: The Birth of Samson

If I had to guess, the average person, including the average Christian, has never heard of the judges discussed thus far in the book of Judges.  Chapter 13, however, brings us Samson, he of the flowing hair.  Samson is a biblical character the average person has heard of.  And, unlike, most of the other judges, Samson lasts longer than one chapter in the Bible.  Let’s dig in!

“Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, so the Lord delivered them into the hands of the Philistines for forty years.” – Judges 13:1

Of course.  We wouldn’t expect anything less of God at this point, would we?

“The angel of the Lord appeared to her and said, ‘You are barren and childless, but you are going to become pregnant and give birth to a son. Now see to it that you drink no wine or other fermented drink and that you do not eat anything unclean. You will become pregnant and have a son whose head is never to be touched by a razor because the boy is to be a Nazirite, dedicated to God from the womb. He will take the lead in delivering Israel from the hands of the Philistines.’” – Judges 13:3-5

And thus is born Samson.  It sets the story of Samson’s hair which must never be touched.

“Then the woman went to her husband and told him, ‘A man of God came to me. He looked like an angel of God, very awesome. I didn’t ask him where he came from, and he didn’t tell me his name. But he said to me, ‘You will become pregnant and have a son. Now then, drink no wine or other fermented drink and do not eat anything unclean, because the boy will be a Nazirite of God from the womb until the day of his death.’’” – Judges 13:6-7

Um…sure.  If this were to happen today, the wife would be calling the cops ASAP because it is simply crazy!!!  Is the husband worried?  Nope.  He buys it.  Sigh.

“The angel of the Lord answered, ‘Your wife must do all that I have told her. She must not eat anything that comes from the grapevine, nor drink any wine or other fermented drink nor eat anything unclean. She must do everything I have commanded her.’” – Judges 13:13

And she must take off her pants while I undo my zipper and whip it out in front of her.  Seriously, why is no one calling the cops!!!???

“Then Manoah took a young goat, together with the grain offering, and sacrificed it on a rock to the Lord. And the Lord did an amazing thing while Manoah and his wife watched:” – Judges 13:19

WTF?  It seriously sounds as if the Lord is about to rape the wife while both wife and husband sit by and allow it to happen!  The Bible doesn’t say this, but what other conclusion is there???

“The woman gave birth to a boy and named him Samson.” – Judges 13:24

Wait, what?  The Bible never says Manoah and his wife lay together.  There is nothing discussed as to how the wife became pregnant.  As far as I can tell she was raped by God!!!  WTF?!?!?!

Well, that ends Judges 13.  Samson is born and there’s a strong argument to be made that he is the child of rape at the hands of God.  What message does this send?  Allow yourself to be raped without fighting back if the rapist says he/she is God?  Unbelievable.

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 14:  Samson’s Marriage

Judges 11:30-39

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  Today’s verse is not so much a verse, but a grouping of verses that deliver one hell of a crazy story.  It’s one I covered as a full chapter last week.

“And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: ‘If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.’ Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into his hands. He devastated twenty towns from Aroer to the vicinity of Minnith, as far as Abel Keramim. Thus Israel subdued Ammon. When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter.  When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, ‘Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.’ ‘My father,’ she replied, ‘you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites. But grant me this one request,’ she said. ‘Give me two months to roam the hills and weep with my friends, because I will never marry.’ ‘You may go,’ he said. And he let her go for two months. She and her friends went into the hills and wept because she would never marry. After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin.” – Judges 11:30-39

Yes, you read that right.  Jephthah offers to sacrifice, to God, the first person that leaves his door.  Granted, he’s not directly offering to sacrifice his daughter, but he obviously knows that the first person to leave his door is going to be someone who lives there.  It’s obviously going to be someone he loves deeply.  That’s the first crazy part of this.

The next crazy part is that his daughter agrees with a ho-hum attitude.  Oh well, my dad made the choice of sacrificing me to God, so I’ll just go along with it.  Really?  Really?!?!?

Then, unlike in the story of Abraham and Isaac, God doesn’t stop the sacrifice.  Jephthah KILLS his daughter!  OMFG!?!?!  This is supposed to be a story about how we are to put our greatest love toward God (or Jesus if you wish to refer to the New Testament).  You are to have soooo much love for God/Jesus that you would do anything for God/Jesus, including killing your daughter.  This whole thing is disgusting and crazy, yet Christians all over the world offer their greatest love to Jesus.  Granted, most of them understand that it’s not okay to sacrifice your child, but the problem is that I had to use the word ‘most’ and not ‘all’.  There are people who will, and have, kill their children if they think God or Jesus is telling them to.  Now that is definitely disgusting and crazy.

Judges – Chapter 12: Jephthah and Ephraim

Judges 11 may very well be the most disgusting chapter in the Bible.  In Genesis, God commanded Abraham to kill his son Isaac.  That was disgusting, but in the end, God stopped it.  In Judges 11, Jephthah was willing to sacrifice his daughter.  God didn’t stop it and Jephthah killed his daughter.  Wow!  Is it possible for Judges 12 to top that?  Let’s find out.

“The Ephraimite forces were called out, and they crossed over to Zaphon. They said to Jephthah, ‘Why did you go to fight the Ammonites without calling us to go with you? We’re going to burn down your house over your head.’” – Judges 12:1

He killed his daughter.  He deserves a hell of a lot more than having his house burned down.

“If he said, ‘Sibboleth,’ because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.” – Judges 12:6

WOW!!!  Jephthah decides who to kill based on how someone says a single word.  Yes, because that’s a rational way of determining one’s enemies.  Come on God, this is the best you can do???

“After him, Ibzan of Bethlehem led Israel.  He had thirty sons and thirty daughters.” – Judges 12:8-9

Sixty children?  That requires multiple wives.  Where are the women with multiple husbands?  Oh yeah, that’s evil in the eyes of God.

Two more judges are discussed, but only for a verse or two.  Judges 12 was shorter chapter.  It was a different level of disgusting.  Instead of killing his own daughter, Jephthah kills 42,000 people based on how they pronounce a single word.  You can’t make this stuff up.

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 13:  The Birth of Samson

Robert Price – Dogma Debate Interview

If you haven’t listened to the Robert Price interview on the Dogma Debate episode, please do so.

Robert Price on Dogma Debate

If you’re unfamiliar with Robert Price, he is an Atheist who has done a ton of scholarly work in the field of the historicity of Jesus.  He argues against the existence of Jesus.  He’s very well respected in this field and has written several books.  I haven’t read any yet, but they are (or were) on my to-read list.

Price is also a political conservative, as are other Atheists.  After listening to his interview on Dogma Debate, I can honestly say I will never purchase nor read Price’s books.  Price takes the extreme, and when I say extreme, I mean VERY extreme few on so many political issues.  He even went as far as denying climate change.  He’s a Trump supporter and thinks Trump doesn’t go far enough on immigration issues.  Seriously?  Building a wall and deporting all illegal immigrants doesn’t go far enough?  Yikes!

Even more concerning is Price’s complete lack of analyzing the evidence.  When David Smalley, host of Dogma Debate, presented him with evidence, Price simply said he didn’t have time to analyze the evidence and went straight back to his extreme and in some cases very bigoted beliefs.  On climate change he said he doesn’t have time to go to grad school to become a climate scientist and therefore can’t take the evidence seriously.  What the fuck???

At one point Price intentionally hung up on Smalley and Smalley had to call him back.  WOW!  Don’t get me wrong, Price has a lot of respect in his scholarly work on the historicity of Jesus, but he lost that respect from me.  If this guy isn’t willing to look at evidence on the many issues discussed in the interview, how do I know or how can I expect him to analyze the evidence in his scholarly work?  If he’s cutting corners on all other evidence, how do I know he’s not cutting corners regarding his work on Jesus?  There are many, many excellent Atheist authors out there who carefully consider evidence placed before them that there’s no need for me to take the time and money to read Price.

To make myself clear.  I don’t care that Price is conservative.  I knew that prior to this interview.  I care about whether he analyzes evidence and from the Dogma Debate interview, it is obvious Price doesn’t care about evidence if it contradicts his preconceived notions.  I’ll even go as far as saying Price is doing the Atheist movement much harm.

If you haven’t, please listen to the podcast episode.  Be warned, though, that it is EXTREMELY frustrating.

Judges – Chapter 11: Jephthah

In Judges 11 we move on to the next judge, Jephthah.

“Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute.” – Judges 11:1

Men sleeping around?  No problem.  Women sleeping around?  Whores and prostitutes.  Biblical misogyny.  The prostitute was NOT the wife of Jephthah’s father.  Nothing bad is said about Jephthah’s father.  Only his mother.

“So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and commander over them.” – Judges 11:11

This verse pushes another theme seen in the Bible.  You may have had a sinning mother, but you overcame that and went on to be a hero to the people.  However, according to God’s own laws, stated over and over in the Bible, Jephthah should have been killed as a baby due to the sins of his mother.  Then again, the Bible doesn’t care much about contradictions.  God works in “mysterious” ways.  ROFL!

“The king of the Ammonites answered Jephthah’s messengers, ‘When Israel came up out of Egypt, they took away my land from the Arnon to the Jabbok, all the way to the Jordan. Now give it back peaceably.’” – Judges 11:13

I love this.  The Ammonites are simply playing self-defense.  They were kicked out of the land by the Israelites and simply want their homeland back.  So they are fighting to get it back.  Fighting for what is rightly yours is BAD in the eyes of the god of this Bible.

“This is what Jephthah says: Israel did not take the land of Moab or the land of the Ammonites.” – Judges 11:15

Of course not.  Why would the Israelites tell the truth?  Why would God not step in and stop the Israelites from lying, killing, and raping?  Oh yeah, because then the Christian message of overcoming suffering wouldn’t work anymore.

“Let the Lord, the Judge, decide the dispute this day between the Israelites and the Ammonites.” – Judges 11:27

Yes, because the god of the Bible has shown himself to be such a righteous and just god.  LOL!

“And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: ‘If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.’” – Judges 11:30-31

You just know this is not going to end well!

“Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into his hands. 33 He devastated twenty towns from Aroer to the vicinity of Minnith, as far as Abel Keramim. Thus Israel subdued Ammon.” – Judges 32:33

More innocents killed at the hand of God.

“When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter. When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, “Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.” – Judges 11:34-35

Jesus MOTHER-FUCKING Christ!  You have got to be kidding me?  Seriously, the sacrificing of this child can’t possibly happen, right?  God will surely intervene as he did with Abraham in the book of Genesis.

“’My father,’ she replied, ‘you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites.’” – Judges 11:36

SAID NO DAUGHTER EVER!!!

“After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin.” – Judges 11:39

He fucking killed his daughter for God and God did nothing to stop it.  This is fucking disgusting!  Who the fuck does this?  No one with any sanity!!!  The god of the Bible is a mother fucking disgusting being who deserves to rot in the very hell he supposedly created.  Same goes for Jephthah for killing his innocent daughter.  And what the fuck does “she was a virgin” have anything to do with this.  Jesus fucking Christ!

“From this comes the Israelite tradition that each year the young women of Israel go out for four days to commemorate the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite.” – Judges 11:39-40

There’s a fucking tradition that came out of this?  Are you fucking kidding me???

Okay, I know I’ve said the book of Joshua was a disgusting book and it certainly is.  This chapter of Judges, however, is quite possibly more disgusting.  A father offers to sacrifice his innocent daughter to God and God allows it!  He doesn’t stop Jephthah as he did with Abraham.  The daughter is killed!!!  Jesus mother fucking fuckity fuck fuck Christ!

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 12:  Jephthah and Ephraim

Judges – Chapter 10: Tola

Let’s see.  Thus far in Judges God punishes the Israelites, hardens the hearts of others to oppress the Israelites, then helps the Israelites rise up to defeat the oppressors that God forced into oppressing the Israelites.  Yeah, messed up.  Time to dig into Judges 10.

“After the time of Abimelek, a man of Issachar named Tola son of Puah, the son of Dodo, rose to save Israel. He lived in Shamir, in the hill country of Ephraim.  He led Israel twenty-three years; then he died, and was buried in Shamir.” – Judges 10:1-2

That’s all the Bible has to say regarding Tola.

“He (Jair) had thirty sons, who rode thirty donkeys. They controlled thirty towns in Gilead, which to this day are called Havvoth Jair.” Judges 10:4

Jair’s claim to fame is apparently the number 30.

“Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord.” – Judges 10:6

Of course they did.  If they didn’t do evil, God wouldn’t have any way to push his horrible, human-killing agenda.

“He (God) sold them into the hands of the Philistines and the Ammonites, who that year shattered and crushed them.” – Judges 10:7-9

God sold the Israelites into the hands of others to be crushed.  God did this.  Not humans.  God.

And that basically ends this chapter.  The Israelites say they’re sorry and God helps them defeat the oppressors (the oppressors God forced into oppressing, mind you).  This is one big broken record.  It’s like telling a kid they can have ice cream if they’re good.  The kid does bad and you say no ice cream.  The kid cries and the parent says okay, you can have ice cream.  The kid does bad and you say no ice cream.  The kid cries and the parent says okay, you can have ice cream.    Repeat over and over.  JUST TAKE THE FUCKING ICE CREAM AWAY FOR GOOD!!!!  Sheesh!

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 11:  Jephthah

John 3:16

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  Today’s crazy Bible verse is arguably the most cited verse in the Bible.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16

That sounds nice, so why am I listing it as a crazy Bible verse?  If you dig deeper into this verse, it makes no sense whatsoever.  Let’s start with God.  God is supposedly the creator of all.  He supposedly knows all and is all-powerful.  God supposedly knows everything that will ever happen in the future.  That’s what Christianity tells us.  God supposedly has the power to come in and change this for good with the snap of his all-powerful finger.  Yet he sends himself down as a mortal man.  This shows his love?  Hardly.  Showing love would have meant not allowing evil to enter the world.  Yet God allowed evil to enter the world immediately.  God created evil.  You don’t get credit for fixing what you caused in the first place.

Let’s now look at the ‘Son’ part.  He gave his son?  Hardly.  First of all, his son is himself, so he hasn’t given anything.  Secondly, Jesus is supposedly on this world for what, 32 or 33 years?  The Bible only focuses on the last couple of years of Jesus’ life.  Does Jesus suffer some?  Sure, for a bit.  But this is God we are talking about!  There was no need for any of this.  Even if we account for the suffering, Jesus suffers for a year or two and then joins his father (one and the same) back in who knows where.  This is nothing compared to the suffering the people of the land have faced from God their entire lives!  This is nothing compared to the suffering a child with bone cancer faces.

Now let’s look at the ‘believe’ part.  This verse tells us that all we have to do is believe and we have eternal life?  What about good deeds?  This verse suggests you get eternal life for believing and nothing else.  Someone could murder and rape children for 80 years, but if they profess their love to Jesus one minute before death they get eternity in heaven.  Really?  Sorry, not buying it.  I’ll admit I don’t believe in any type of heaven.  When we are dead, we are dead.  That’s it.

 

John 3:16 is an example of a New Testament verse that everyone loves.  However, if you go beyond face value and critically think about what this verse means, it’s not a loving verse.  It simply shows that God is demanding more hoops and hurdles for you to get through in a life of suffering that he caused.  Remember that God created evil.  Says so very clearly in the Bible.