Thus far in Judges God is pissed at the people for not following his every command. Of course, God doesn’t appear to the people to state this, he just punishes them by having them lose wars and having other groups attack them. How God expects the people to listen when they don’t know is beyond me, but hey, this is an all-knowing god, right? Evidence says no. Oh well, let’s see what Judges 3 has in store for us.
“The Israelites lived among the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. They took their daughters in marriage and gave their own daughters to their sons, and served their gods.” – Judges 3:5-6
Once again, females have no choice in the Bible. They are there simply to be told what to do by the men. It’s a Biblical moral to be misogynistic.
“But when they cried out to the Lord, he raised up for them a deliverer, Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb’s younger brother, who saved them.” – Judges 3:9
Othniel is the first judge listed by name God gave to the Israelites to save them.
“Again the Israelites cried out to the Lord, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab.” – Judges 3:15
The second judge is Ehud.
“Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his palace and said, ‘I have a message from God for you.’ As the king rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king’s belly. Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. Then Ehud went out to the porch; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.” – Judges 3:20-23
How nice of Ehud. No one is saying the Israelites were not treated badly by the king’s people, but this was the direct result of God’s doing because he was pissed at the Israelites. If God would simply speak to the people, none of this death and destruction would be necessary. My other comment on this has to do with the detail of which the king’s death is told. The Bible is very quiet on the morals of raping people, but when it comes to killing an overweight king, the Bible goes in to great detail on how the deed was done. Really?
“After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, ‘He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the palace.’ They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead.” – Judges 3:24-25
OMG!!! The Bible, a book of how Christians say we should live our lives, seriously says the people waited a long time because they thought their king was taking a massive shit! ROFL!!!
“After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel.” – Judges 3:31
The next judge mentioned in this chapter is Shamgar. An oxgoad is a cattle prod. There’s no way Shamgar killed 600 people with a cattle prod without being stopped. But it’s in the Bible so it MUST be true, right? Right? LOL!
That concludes Judges 3. It’s a funny sequence of events in which God anoints judge after judge after judge who save the Israelites. But then the judges die and the Israelites go back to their old ways. Sounds like one big failure by this all-mighty god.
Coming Soon: Judges – Chapter 4: Deborah