Judges – Chapter 7: Gideon Defeats the Midianites

In the last chapter we learned God chose Gideon to lead the Israelites and this chapter focuses on Gideon leading the Israelites to another victory.  Of course, no battle is needed if God would stop acting like an irrational 2 year old.

“The Lord said to Gideon, ‘You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’’” – Judges 7:2

OMFG!!!  Are you kidding me?  Is God really this petty?  Sorry, you have too many people.  I must take all glory for the destruction of these people.  Seriously?  This is the creator?  This is the leader?  Barf.

“So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the Lord told him, ‘Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.’” – Judges 7:5

WTF???  This is how you choose who serves and doesn’t serve in a battle?  WOW!!!

“Gideon arrived just as a man was telling a friend his dream. ‘I had a dream,’ he was saying. ‘A round loaf of barley bread came tumbling into the Midianite camp. It struck the tent with such force that the tent overturned and collapsed.’ His friend responded, ‘This can be nothing other than the sword of Gideon son of Joash, the Israelite. God has given the Midianites and the whole camp into his hands.’” – Judges 7:13-14

So let me get this straight.  Someone has a dream of a piece of bread striking a tent and this is a sign God will deliver the Midianites into the hands of the Israelites?  This is a joke, right?  Right?!?!?

“When the three hundred trumpets sounded, the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords.” – Judges 7:22

Let’s assume for a second God doesn’t harden hearts and the Midianites are truly evil of their own choice.  Even given these huge assumptions, God is not interested in a fair fight.  He intervenes and has the Midianites kill each other.  Sigh.

The chapter ends with the Midianites fleeing.  I have to admit this chapter is full of a bunch of nonsense.  God demands to receive all glory and credit for the victory.  A dream of flying bread is some kind of prophecy.  The Midianites kill themselves.  Sheesh.  If God truly wants to show his power, have the 300 Midianites win a fair battle with no cheating.

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 8:  Zebah and Zalmunna

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One thought on “Judges – Chapter 7: Gideon Defeats the Midianites

  1. If the logical conclusion is mass bullshit so be it. What does it mean to move away from religious culture? Can we keep the pros of religion while discarding the cons?
    Where are we going? Who are we? Let us evolve intelligently

    Like

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