Judges – Chapter 11: Jephthah

In Judges 11 we move on to the next judge, Jephthah.

“Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute.” – Judges 11:1

Men sleeping around?  No problem.  Women sleeping around?  Whores and prostitutes.  Biblical misogyny.  The prostitute was NOT the wife of Jephthah’s father.  Nothing bad is said about Jephthah’s father.  Only his mother.

“So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and commander over them.” – Judges 11:11

This verse pushes another theme seen in the Bible.  You may have had a sinning mother, but you overcame that and went on to be a hero to the people.  However, according to God’s own laws, stated over and over in the Bible, Jephthah should have been killed as a baby due to the sins of his mother.  Then again, the Bible doesn’t care much about contradictions.  God works in “mysterious” ways.  ROFL!

“The king of the Ammonites answered Jephthah’s messengers, ‘When Israel came up out of Egypt, they took away my land from the Arnon to the Jabbok, all the way to the Jordan. Now give it back peaceably.’” – Judges 11:13

I love this.  The Ammonites are simply playing self-defense.  They were kicked out of the land by the Israelites and simply want their homeland back.  So they are fighting to get it back.  Fighting for what is rightly yours is BAD in the eyes of the god of this Bible.

“This is what Jephthah says: Israel did not take the land of Moab or the land of the Ammonites.” – Judges 11:15

Of course not.  Why would the Israelites tell the truth?  Why would God not step in and stop the Israelites from lying, killing, and raping?  Oh yeah, because then the Christian message of overcoming suffering wouldn’t work anymore.

“Let the Lord, the Judge, decide the dispute this day between the Israelites and the Ammonites.” – Judges 11:27

Yes, because the god of the Bible has shown himself to be such a righteous and just god.  LOL!

“And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: ‘If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.’” – Judges 11:30-31

You just know this is not going to end well!

“Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into his hands. 33 He devastated twenty towns from Aroer to the vicinity of Minnith, as far as Abel Keramim. Thus Israel subdued Ammon.” – Judges 32:33

More innocents killed at the hand of God.

“When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter. When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, “Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.” – Judges 11:34-35

Jesus MOTHER-FUCKING Christ!  You have got to be kidding me?  Seriously, the sacrificing of this child can’t possibly happen, right?  God will surely intervene as he did with Abraham in the book of Genesis.

“’My father,’ she replied, ‘you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites.’” – Judges 11:36

SAID NO DAUGHTER EVER!!!

“After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin.” – Judges 11:39

He fucking killed his daughter for God and God did nothing to stop it.  This is fucking disgusting!  Who the fuck does this?  No one with any sanity!!!  The god of the Bible is a mother fucking disgusting being who deserves to rot in the very hell he supposedly created.  Same goes for Jephthah for killing his innocent daughter.  And what the fuck does “she was a virgin” have anything to do with this.  Jesus fucking Christ!

“From this comes the Israelite tradition that each year the young women of Israel go out for four days to commemorate the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite.” – Judges 11:39-40

There’s a fucking tradition that came out of this?  Are you fucking kidding me???

Okay, I know I’ve said the book of Joshua was a disgusting book and it certainly is.  This chapter of Judges, however, is quite possibly more disgusting.  A father offers to sacrifice his innocent daughter to God and God allows it!  He doesn’t stop Jephthah as he did with Abraham.  The daughter is killed!!!  Jesus mother fucking fuckity fuck fuck Christ!

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 12:  Jephthah and Ephraim

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