1 Samuel – Chapter 17: David and Goliath

1 Samuel 17 brings us one of the more famous stories in the Bible.  Like the story of Noah and the Ark, most people have heard of the story of David and Goliath.  It’s the classic underdog beats the favorite theme that people love in movies and in sporting events.

“A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. His height was six cubits and a span.” – 1 Samuel 17:4

That’s equivalent to 9 feet 9 inches tall.  That’s quite tall, but also impossible.  The tallest human ever, Robert Wadlow, was 8 feet 11 inches tall.  Very tall, for sure, but a full ten inches shorter than Goliath.  He was tall for a reason.  He had hyperplasia of the pituitary gland.  He died at the age of 22 (Goliath is described as being much older).  He needed leg braces to walk and had very little feeling in his legs.  He certainly didn’t have the mobility of a warrior.  There is also no fossil evidence of giants living a few thousand years ago.  In other words, this is a made up story with no truth to it at all, just like the rest of the Bible.

“On hearing the Philistine’s words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified.” – 1 Samuel 17:11

Why?  Isn’t God mighty enough to defeat Goliath?  Even if God runs in fear, do a mass attack.  Goliath may be nearly 10 feet tall, but a group of Israelites could easily defeat him.  It’s a stupid war tactic to try to defeat Goliath in a one on one battle.

“For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand.” – 1 Samuel 17:16

They did this for forty days!!!  Sigh.

“Now the Israelites had been saying, ‘Do you see how this man keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Israel. The king will give great wealth to the man who kills him. He will also give him his daughter in marriage and will exempt his family from taxes in Israel.’” – 1 Samuel 17:25

Once again, the Bible considers women property.  The daughter has no choice in the matter.

“David asked the men standing near him, ‘What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?’” – 1 Samuel 17:26

Ah, so it boils down to Goliath not having chopped off the tip of his dick.  Good to know.

“But David said to Saul, ‘Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.’” – 1 Samuel 17:34-35

ROFL!  For starters, if you are pulling a sheep from the mouth of a lion, you are pulling out a corpse.  Secondly, grabbing a lion/bear by the hair?  LOL!  Give me a break!

“David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.’” – 1 Samuel 17:45

This is the same god who has been conveniently absent in this story.

“As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.  Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.” – 1 Samuel 17:48-49

Could a stone kill a man?  Sure, with enough speed the stone could strike with enough force to crack the skull and cause internal brain injury.  There’s nothing wrong with the method by which Goliath died.  Did the stone “sink” into Goliath’s forehead?  No, because that’s not how the physics works.  The stone is not a fast speeding bullet.  It’s moving at a much slower speed and is certainly larger than a bullet.  The stone will bounce off.

“After he killed him, he cut off his head with the sword.” – 1 Samuel 17:51

God always wants you to cut the head off your victim.

“Then the men of Israel and Judah surged forward with a shout and pursued the Philistines to the entrance of Gath and to the gates of Ekron. Their dead were strewn along the Shaaraim road to Gath and Ekron. When the Israelites returned from chasing the Philistines, they plundered their camp.” – 1 Samuel 17:52:53

More death and destruction at the hands of God.  How many women and children were killed this time?  We don’t know, but the entire camp was destroyed, so let’s assume at a minimum thousands were killed.

That concludes the story of David and Goliath, clearly a fictional story, like most, if not all in the Bible, that contains no truth.

Coming Soon:  1 Samuel – Chapter 18:  Saul’s Growing Fear of David

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