The killing continues in 1 Samuel. Will it end in chapter 24? Let’s find out.
“So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats.” – 1 Samuel 24:2
Seriously, how hard is it to find one man when you are both living in the same geographical area? It’s not as if David is in Australia and you have no idea where it is and no boats to get there!
“He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself” – 1 Samuel 24:3
Is this the first mention of someone taking a piss in the Bible? Or was this a number two? 🙂
“The men said, ‘This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’’ Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.” – 1 Samuel 24:4
Picture this in your mind. Saul is taking a piss or a poo-poo and David creeps up behind him and cuts of a piece of his robe. WTF?
“Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.’ With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.” – 1 Samuel 24:5-7
Oh for fuck’s sake. If your god is pissed that you cut off a piece of a robe, then find a new god or stop believing in an imaginary, man-made creator.
“Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, ‘My lord the king!’ When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He said to Saul, ‘Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’?’ This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’” – 1 Samuel 24:8-10
Now picture this conversation taking place with Saul in mid-stream or squatting and in mid shit. 🙂
“I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life.” – 1 Samuel 24:11
David speaks the truth here. Unfortunately God has clouded Saul’s mind with evil.
“As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.” – 1 Samuel 24:13
God needs to heed David’s words.
“’You are more righteous than I,’ he said. ‘You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly.’” – 1 Samuel 24:17
Don’t be too hard on yourself Saul. You were not in control of your actions. God was controlling you. This is not your fault!
“So David gave his oath (to not kill Saul’s family) to Saul. Then Saul returned home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.” – 1 Samuel 24:22
David is a far more righteous person than God is a deity.
That concludes 1 Samuel 24. It starts with a bit of humor with Saul either pissing or taking a shit as David creeps up behind him. It ends with David sparing Saul and his family, proving that humans are far more righteous than God.
Coming Soon: Psalms – Chapter 7: A shiggaion of David, which he sang to the Lord concerning Cush, a Benjamite.