1 Samuel – Chapter 25: David, Nabal and Abigail

Welcome back to 1 Samuel.  After several chapters of Psalms, we move back to 1 Samuel.  As a quick recap, David is God’s new lackey, but oddly enough, God has taken control of Saul’s body and is trying to kill David.  David has fled and seeking God’s assistance in stopping Saul, or God himself depending on how you look at it, from killing him.

“Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran.” – 1 Samuel 25:1

And just like that, Samuel, the one who anointed Saul as king, dies.  A bit anti-climatic.

“While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep.  So he sent ten young men and said to them, ‘Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name.’” – 1 Samuel 25:4-5

I can’t help but see this as sounding like the start of a porn.

“Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing.” – 1 Samuel 25:7

Wait, is the Bible talking about the literal shearing of sheep, or is this a euphemism for shaving one’s pubic hair?  🙂

“David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. David said to his men, ‘Each of you strap on your sword!’” – 1 Samuel 25:12-13

Strap on your sword?  Euphemism for…?  Sorry, can’t help it.  Turning this chapter into a porn is way too easy today!  Okay, enough with the jokes.  Next, the wife of Nabal, Abigail, finds David and offers her support to him.

“Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live.” – 1 Samuel 25:28

By fighting the Lord’s battles, David is agreeing to rape and murder.  David is filled with wrongdoing.  Also, why does God need a mortal human to fight his battles?  Can this all-powerful god not just do it himself?  Or is he really a weakling of a god?

“When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself.” – 1 Samuel 25:30-31

We’ll have to wait to find out, but something tells me the bloodshed will not end when David is anointed leader of the Israelites.

“Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died.” – 1 Samuel 25:37-38

Interesting.  If he turned to something “like stone” why didn’t he die right way?  God is known for killing people right away, not waiting ten days.  Or, and I know this is crazy, Nabal had a heart attack and died of heart failure.  Crazy, I know, but maybe, just maybe there’s a logical explanation to explain Nabal’s death.

“Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, ‘David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife.’” – 1 Samuel 25:39-40

Notice how “asking” became “take” in the next verse?  Is David really asking or is he taking?  Based on what we know of how the Bible views women, it’s safe to assume David is taking Abigail, against her will, to be his wife.

“She bowed down with her face to the ground and said, ‘I am your servant and am ready to serve you and wash the feet of my lord’s servants.’” – 1 Samuel 25:41

Abigail refers to herself as his servant because she knows in this society there is no hope for a life unless she agrees to be David’s wife.  I would never, never, accept myself as a servant to another human nor do I think you would either.

“David had also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both were his wives.” – 1 Samuel 25:43

ROFL!  No sooner does David take his first wife, he takes a second.  Family values straight from the Bible!  The next time an arrogant Christian argues for traditional marriage, point to this verse.  Traditional marriage defined by the Bible includes multiple wives.

It’s good to get back into 1 Samuel.  Samuel is dead and Saul is still after David.  David gets some help from a woman, then later takes her hand in marriage, but it is very questionable she had a choice.  David immediately takes a second wife as God stands by and approves.  Traditional Biblical values.  Sigh.

Coming Soon:  1 Samuel – Chapter 26:  David Again Spares Saul’s Life

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