In our last look in 1 Samuel we learned that ‘traditional’ marriage in the Bible is one of taking a woman, regardless of her wishes, as your wife and then immediately taking other wives, likely against their wishes and the wishes of the current wives to share more wives. Think about that the next time you or someone else argues for more traditional marriage in society. Let’s dive right in to 1 Samuel 26. Saul is still searching for David to kill him.
“So David and Abishai went to the army by night, and there was Saul, lying asleep inside the camp with his spear stuck in the ground near his head.” – 1 Samuel 26:7
How is it David can easily find Saul, but Saul can’t find David? On top of that, David is able to sneak through thousands surrounding Saul to get to him. Not very believable unless David is wearing the “one ring to bind them all!”
“But David said to Abishai, ‘Don’t destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless?’” – 1 Samuel 26:9
Since Saul was controlled by God, David was so close to killing God. One thrust of the spear and God is dead, saving millions of lives!!! Well, maybe not quite, but pleasing to think about.
“So David took the spear and water jug near Saul’s head, and they left. No one saw or knew about it, nor did anyone wake up.” – 1 Samuel 26:12
If no one saw or knew about it, then how are we reading about it? No one really knows the author of 1 Samuel, but as far as I can tell, no one has credited authorship to David.
“They were all sleeping, because the Lord had put them into a deep sleep.” – 1 Samuel 26:12
Or, you know, it was simply their bedtime and they were sleeping. An act of God is hardly needed for a deep sleep.
“David said, ‘You’re a man, aren’t you? And who is like you in Israel? Why didn’t you guard your lord the king? Someone came to destroy your lord the king. What you have done is not good. As surely as the Lord lives, you and your men must die, because you did not guard your master, the Lord’s anointed. Look around you. Where are the king’s spear and water jug that were near his head?’” – 1 Samuel 26:15-16
WTF??? The Bible just said no one ever saw or new about David sneaking near Saul. Seriously? Three verses later David blabs it for all to know!!! One would think that if the authors of the Bible were going to blatantly lie they’d be a bit more careful about it!
“Then Saul said, ‘I have sinned. Come back, David my son. Because you considered my life precious today, I will not try to harm you again. Surely I have acted like a fool and have been terribly wrong.’” – 1 Samuel 26:21
One of two things is going on here. Either Saul is serious, apologizing for trying to kill David, or this is a trick to bring David back in Saul’s grasp. If Saul is serious, that is very lame. He’s not just going to say he’s sorry all of a sudden. If Saul is tricking David and David accepts it as he’s about to do, that’s also lame. There’s no way David would simply say that all is okay and offer forgiveness. Who does that other than biblical characters?
“Then Saul said to David, ‘May you be blessed, David my son; you will do great things and surely triumph.’ So David went on his way, and Saul returned home.” – 1 Samuel 26:25
Sigh. And just like that everything is okay. Think of this like a plot of the movie. It basically goes like this. Saul chases David and tries to kill him. David says no, I didn’t kill you, please don’t kill me. Saul thinks and concludes, yeah, that makes sense. I’m sorry, I won’t kill you. David replies by saying all is cool, let’s go on our way. No FREAKING way! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Bible would be much more believable if the stories were grounded in reality!
Coming Soon: 1 Samuel – Chapter 27: David Among the Philistines