1 Chronicles – Chapter 12: Warriors Join David

After briefly looking at 2 Samuel, we are back to 1 Chronicles.  Today’s chapter, 1 Chronicles 11 starts out with almost the exact same wording as 2 Samuel 5 from the other day.

“In the past, even while Saul was king, you were the one who led Israel on their military campaigns. And the Lord your God said to you, ‘You will shepherd my people Israel, and you will become their ruler.’” – 1 Chronicles 11:2

As I said in 2 Samuel 5, this is evidence against free will in the Bible.  God controls the people and they must obey his orders, including the killing of others.

“And David became more and more powerful, because the Lord Almighty was with him.” – 1 Chronicles 11:9

Same wording as 2 Samuel 5, further cementing God’s control of the situation.  In other words, no free will.

“Jashobeam, a Hakmonite, was chief of the officers; he raised his spear against three hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter.” – 1 Chronicles 11:11

Three hundred men killed in one encounter with one man’s spear?  Bullshit.  Not possible.  The authors of the Bible could have made this more believable by saying five men which would have been equally impressive, or awful, depending on how you want to look at it.

“Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, performed great exploits. He struck down Moab’s two mightiest warriors. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.” – 1 Chronicles 11:22

Okay, this is more believable.  Killing two men makes sense.  It’s humanly possible in a battle.  But then the authors throw in that, oh yeah, he followed that up by climbing into a snowy pit and killing a lion.  WTF?

“And he struck down an Egyptian who was five cubits tall.” – 1 Chronicles 11:23

Five cubits is seven and a half feet tall, so not impossible, but it comes across as stretching the truth.  What is wrong with the feat of killing two men?  Why throw in the lion and the tall Egyptian?  It makes it less and less believable.  What next?  And then they whipped out their dicks and his measured 8 feet long?

The rest of this chapter is a list of who begat who, so that does it for 1 Chronicles 11.  As I’ve said many times, the Bible would be much more believable if the stories weren’t so ridiculous.  Killing 300 men with one spear?  Ug.  Killing two men?  Okay, but don’t throw in a lion and a ridiculously tall dude too.  It’s as if the authors were in a pissing match about who could best out do who in outrageousness.

Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 12:  Warriors Join David


Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 12:  Warriors Join Davi


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