1 Chronicles – Chapter 12: Warriors Join David

This is post #666 on this blog.  😊  Maybe I’ll make this the very last post on this blog ever?  Hmmm.  That is a fitting end.  Nah…must keep going as there’s so much more silliness in the Bible to discuss.  In our last look in the Bible we were in 1 Chronicles discussing the ridiculous stories and killing taking place.  I stated it then, have already stated it many times, and will likely state it many more times, the Bible would be MUCH more believable if the stories themselves weren’t so far fetched.  Let’s jump in and see what 1 Chronicles 12 has in store for us.

“Some Gadites defected to David at his stronghold in the wilderness. They were brave warriors, ready for battle and able to handle the shield and spear.” – 1 Chronicles 12:8

This chapter started with genealogy.  The verse above shows us the continued desire by the authors of the Bible to show their bloodlust.  The people are described as warriors ready for battle.  What this really means is there are many warriors ready to kill in the name of the Lord.

“These Gadites were army commanders; the least was a match for a hundred, and the greatest for a thousand.” – 1 Chronicles 12:14

Here is the ridiculousness I mentioned a few paragraphs ago.  What is wrong with stating these commanders are trained warriors and leave it at that?  Why then go on to say the very least of them is a match for a hundred normal warriors?  It makes the story more ridiculous and less believable.  No man, no matter how great of a warrior, is a match for hundred men, let alone a thousand.

“Day after day men came to help David, until he had a great army, like the army of God.” – 1 Chronicles 12:22

Like the army of God?  You mean the ACTUAL army of God?  God has chosen David has his lackey and is using David and his men to kill in his name.  There’s either no god and this is the act of mortal men or God is a huge anger-filled jackass who demands the killing of his own creations.  I prefer the former.

The next several verses list the number of fighting men from each tribe, totaling approximately 378,000 fighting men.  Yet I doubt God’s bloodlust is satisfied.

“All these were fighting men who volunteered to serve in the ranks.” – 1 Chronicles 12:38

These were volunteer fighters?  ROFL!  There is NO WAY these hundreds of thousands of men are volunteers.  Not given the demands to follow God we’ve seen time and time again in the Bible.

That concludes 1 Chronicles 12.  God is building quite the army which really means that many, many people, including women and children, are about to die horrible, painful deaths.  In other words, a typical chapter in the Bible.

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 133:  A song of ascents. Of David.

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