2 Samuel – Chapter 6: The Ark Brought to Jerusalem

Today we continue through 2 Samuel with a discussion on the sixth chapter.

“When they came to the threshing floor of Nakon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. 7 The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down, and he died there beside the ark of God.” – 2 Samuel 6:6

OMFG!?!?!  WTF!?!?!  Uzzah steps in to save the ark of God from hitting the ground and is killed by God!  You can’t make this shit up!  Don’t you dare touch God’s shit even if it is to save God’s shit from breaking!

“When those who were carrying the ark of the Lord had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf.” – 2 Samuel 6:13

Well guys, we’ve taken six steps, so I think it’s time for a break.  LOL!

“Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might,” – 2 Samuel 6:14

Um…what…the…FUCK?!?!?

“David said to Michal, ‘It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.’ And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.” – 2 Samuel 6:21-23

It’s important to note here that God is the one who chose David, not the people.  Clearly Michal doesn’t agree with David’s actions, but is it a justified punishment to deny her children?  Sigh.  Unjustified biblical punishment at its finest.

That concludes 2 Samuel 6 which is filled with a few WTF moments!  And remember, don’t you dare touch God’s shit!  😊

Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 13:  Bringing Back the Ark

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