1 Chronicles – Chapter 17: God’s Promise to David

Today’s chapter has the same title as the chapter discussed two days ago.  Remember that Samuel and Chronicles have many similarities and are often copies of each other, so this chapter is very, very similar to the last chapter from 2 Samuel.

“Nathan replied to David, ‘Whatever you have in mind, do it, for God is with you.’” – 1 Chronicles 17:2

Whatever you have in mind?  If David wanted to rape 100 women, God is with him?  I believe that given how awful this god is.

With that I will end the discussion on this chapter.  There are 27 verses but all are a very close replicate of 2 Samuel 7, which we already discussed.  There’s no need for me to repeat that discussion.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 25:  Of David.

Exodus 22:18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is definitely crazy!

“Do not allow a sorceress to live.” – Exodus 22:18

Um…sorceresses don’t exist.  They are make believe!  But leave it to a make believe god to argue for the existence of another make believe fictional character.  LOL!  Here’s the other crazy thing about this verse.  It’s misogynistic.  What about the sorcerers?  The male make believe fictional characters?  I guess God says it’s okay for the male magic people to continue to live.  The Bible is full of misogyny even when discussing the non-existent.  Sigh.

2 Samuel – Chapter 7: God’s Promise to David

I like the title of today’s chapter, 2 Samuel 7.  God’s promise to David.  God promises a lot, but often breaks these promises or offer promises with many catches and out clauses.  Let’s see what this promise is all about.

“After the king was settled in his palace and the Lord had given him rest from all his enemies around him…” – 2 Samuel 7:1

How nice and kind of God to give David a rest from all of that killing.  Sigh.

“…he said to Nathan the prophet..” – 2 Samuel 7:2

Today prophets are dismissed as scam artists, yet in Christianity, prophets written down in some book by unknown authors are treated as speaking the word of God.  WTF?!?!  God next speaks to Nathan to pass a message along to David.  Why God doesn’t speak to David directly is a complete mystery.  But as you know God works in ‘mysterious’ ways.

“And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed.” – 2 Samuel 7:10

How great of God to FINALLY talk about giving the Israelites a permanent home.  They haven’t had one since God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians and forced the Israelites out of Egypt.  Due to God’s actions, the Israelites have been homeless this entire time!  God is great?  Hardly!

“Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning 11 and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders over my people Israel.” – 2 Samuel 7:10-11

Wait, so God could have ended this oppression at any time and chose not to?  What an asshole!!!

“I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you.”  – 2 Samuel 7:14-15

ROFL!  Love these two verses!  If you do wrong, I will have you flogged with a rod, but I still love you!  And don’t believe God for one second that this ‘love’ will never be taken away.  God freely admits it was taken away from Saul.  Again, what a crock of shit God has stirred up.

“Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: ‘Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?’” – 2 Samuel 7:18

The honest answer?  You are God’s play toy.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

“Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.” – 2 Samuel 7:28

Trustworthy?  ROFL!  This is the same God that killed everyone but Noah’s family because he got a bit pissy.  LOL!

That concludes 2 Samuel 7.  God is now speaking to David, but through a prophet for whatever reason.  God offers a promise, but we all know the Israelites are not suddently going to have a lifetime of peace and happiness.  And God reveals that he could have stopped the oppression centuries ago.  Conclusion?  God is an asshole.

Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 17:  God’s Promise to David

Psalm – Chapter 132: A song of ascents.

Today is the last chapter in Psalms (for now) before we move back to 2 Samuel.

“I will allow no sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, till I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.” – Psalm 105:4-5

No sleep?  Then you’ll probably die due to not sleeping.

“For the sake of your servant David, do not reject your anointed one.” – Psalm 105:10

WTF?  For the sake of David?  David is surely guilty of many offenses, but he should not be punished because someone else rejects God.  But then again, we know God is not a just god.  He too often punishes the innocent and lets the guilty go free.

“…her poor I will satisfy with food.” – Psalm 105:15

And then there were no poor ever again in the history of the Universe!  Sarcasm off.

That’s about it for this chapter.  There are a few other verses on the things God will do to the people of David and their enemies, but it is all more of the same.  Praise me and follow all my rules and you’ll be fine, but if you do one thing wrong, I will punish you horribly.  Oh, and I’ll also harden the hearts of your enemies, forcing them to hate you and making your lives miserable.  Praise me.

Coming Soon:  2 Samuel – Chapter 7:  God’s Promise to David

Psalm – Chapter 105: Untitled

Yes, I know you’re getting sick of Psalms, but bear with me.  Two more chapters and then we move back to 2 Samuel.

“Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced…” – Psalm 105:5

What miracles?  The order to kill hundreds of thousands?  The order to keep slaves?  The order to force a woman to marry her rapist?

“When they were but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in it, they wandered from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another.” – Psalm 105:12-13

Yes, but why did they wander from nation to nation?  Because God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians who then forced the Israelites to flee.  This doesn’t happen without God first putting the Israelites in harm’s way.

“…whose hearts he turned to hate his people, to conspire against his servants.” – Psalm 105:25

Exactly!  God turned those hearts to hate.  Not the people.  The people were forced to hate by God.

“Then he struck down all the firstborn in their land, the firstfruits of all their manhood.” – Psalm 105:36

This is a re-telling of all the things God did to the Egyptians during the time of Moses.  It again shows us how unjust God really is in the Bible.  The firstborn are killed, including the babies.  Innocents are killed because of God’s bloodlust.

“Praise the Lord.” – Psalm 105:45

No god who brings hate to the world is worthy of Praise.

That concludes Psalm 105.  Much of this chapter was a re-telling of the supposed good things God has done up to the point of David.  However, all of it starts with God bringing hate into the world and hardening hearts, forcing the people to hate each other.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 132:  A song of ascents.

Leviticus 21:18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is filled with a heavy dose of crazy.  I hope you’re ready!

“No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed…” – Leviticus 21:18

This refers to who can and cannot bring a food offering to God.  Think about this for a second.  Anyone who is deformed or has a disability of any kind is forbidden from bringing food to God.  What kind of god is this?  Would an all-loving god turn away people who are not perfect?  Everyone is supposedly created by God, according to the Bible.  Why would this creator turn away people he created?  He created them with these disabilities.  This verse is one of many that show just how disgusting and hateful this god is in the Bible.  He is not a god worthy of worship, that is for sure.  The verse itself continues with a few more specifics on disabilities that disgust God.