Psalm – Chapter 60: For the director of music. To the tune of “The Lily of the Covenant.” A miktam of David. For teaching. When he fought Aram Naharaim and Aram Zobah, and when Joab returned and struck down twelve thousand Edomites in the Valley of Salt.

We continue through the book of Psalms today, so let’s start this Monday with Psalm 60.

“You have rejected us, God, and burst upon us; you have been angry—now restore us!” – Psalm 60:1

This is what pissy gods do.  They get angry.

“You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fractures, for it is quaking.” – Psalm 60:2

No, this is not God.  These are earthquakes.  They are quite common and happen every day somewhere in the world.

“Save us and help us with your right hand, that those you love may be delivered.” – Psalm 60:5

Um…the author is now asking God if he can help God jerk off.  😊

“Gilead is mine, and Manasseh is mine; Ephraim is my helmet, Judah is my scepter.” – Psalm 60:7

All the foreskins are mine!  God is not in the mood for sharing right now!

“With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.” – Psalm 60:12

By enemy, the Bible refers to anyone who just happens to be in the way of the Israelites.  Many innocents are considered enemies in the Bible.

Psalm 60 is a relatively short chapter, but it does contain a verse easily turned into a sex joke, so it’s got that going for it.  Aside from that it’s more of the same argument that God is angry and God has turned away from the Israelites.  Boo-fucking-hoo.  He’s make believe so what do you expect?


Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 75:  For the director of music. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” A psalm of Asaph. A song.

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