2 Samuel – Chapter 24: David Enrolls the Fighting Men

After spending the last few chapters in Psalms, today we move back to finish the last chapter of 2 Samuel.

“Again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, ‘Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.’” – 2 Samuel 24:1

God:  I’m angry, go count the people.  David:  Um…okay.

“So the king said to Joab and the army commanders with him, ‘Go throughout the tribes of Israel from Dan to Beersheba and enroll the fighting men, so that I may know how many there are.’” – 2 Samuel 24:2

Now we see the truth.  God just wants to know how many people he can get to fight since he is always filled with bloodlust.  Peace is never an option for this horrible god.

“Joab reported the number of the fighting men to the king: In Israel there were eight hundred thousand able-bodied men who could handle a sword, and in Judah five hundred thousand.” – 2 Samuel 24:9

That’s a lot of blood God is ready to spill.

“Go and tell David, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am giving you three options. Choose one of them for me to carry out against you.’ So Gad went to David and said to him, ‘Shall there come on you three years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.’” – 2 Samuel 24:12-13

Fuck you God.  We were told in Psalms God rules with equity and is very forgiving.  Apparently God’s definition of forgiving is to provide the Israelites three options in which each severely punishes them.  Do you wish to die of starvation, people whose hearts I hardened, or an intense plague?  Fuck you God.

“So the Lord sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died.” – 2 Samuel 24:15

Fuck you God.  You’re not forgiving.  You’re an asshole who simply exists in the Bible to randomly kill people to satisfy your bloodlust.  A book of morals?  Fuck that.

“’To buy your threshing floor,’ David answered, ‘so I can build an altar to the Lord, that the plague on the people may be stopped.’” – 2 Samuel 24:21

God demands a fucking altar be built to stop the plague?  Think about this for a minute.  This is the God Christians worship and this is the book they call a book of morals.  God just killed 70,000 people while waiting for an altar to be built.  A book of morals my ass.

“David built an altar to the Lord there and sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings. Then the Lord answered his prayer in behalf of the land, and the plague on Israel was stopped.” – 2 Samuel 24:25

For fuck’s sake.

What an awful, horrible chapter that illustrates very clearly this is NOT a god to be worshipped.  This god is the true definition of evil in the world.

Coming Soon:  1 Chronicles – Chapter 21:  David Counts the Fighting Men

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