Our trek through Psalms continues today with a deep look at chapter 139.
“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” – Psalm 139:2
This is a polite way of David saying God watches him masturbate. 😊
“Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” – Psalm 139:4
God knows when a child is about to be molested and yet does nothing.
“If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” – Psalm 139:8
When I shoot my load, you are there. Um…this god is a bit creepy!
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” – Psalm 139:14
Fearfully made? What the hell?
“If only you, God, would slay the wicked!” – Psalm 139:19
Well, God does slay, but he saves his best slaying for innocent children. See yesterday’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday post for a great example of this.
So what did we learn in this chapter? God watches us constantly. Yet he does nothing. Think of the murders, the rapes, and the child molestation. God sits and watches and does NOTHING. This is an evil god. Plain and simple.
Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 143: A psalm of David.
It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse shows that God is NOT just.
“Then Jeroboam’s wife got up and left and went to Tirzah. As soon as she stepped over the threshold of the house, the boy died.” – 1 Kings 14:17
To be fair, you need to read 1 Kings 14 from the beginning to get the full story. God is angry at the Israelites and as punishment will kill every male in this town. Even if we assume this was an evil town (again, little evidence of this), God just killed a boy. A child. God killed a child because he was in a pissy mood. This is not a just god. This is an evil god. This is a god NO ONE should worship. The Bible makes this very clear. Actions speak louder than words and God’s action in this verse was to kill a child.
Today we take a look at Psalm 138. Let’s jump right in.
“…for your unfailing love and your faithfulness…” – Psalm 138:2
I’m amazed each time God’s unfailing love and faithfulness is mentioned in the Bible. Seriously? The Bible itself points to multiple instances of God NOT loving and not being faithful to his word.
“May all the kings of the earth praise you, Lord, when they hear what you have decreed.” – Psalm 138:4
Sometimes God decrees the death of others. I doubt those kings are going to praise God when he decrees their death.
“Though the Lord is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, he sees them from afar.” – Psalm 138:6
God looks so kindly on the lowly that he does nothing to help them.
Psalms 138 doesn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know. David praises God and claims God is the super duper best god in the world. Yet the Bible itself tells us God does lie and God does not looking kindly on the lowly. God is an evil asshole and multiple lines of evidence in the Bible support this.
Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 139: For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
“You will not have the opportunity to make a difference after death, so be someone’s guardian angel now.” – David Smalley
David Smalley, host of the Dogma Debate podcast, gets it right. You only have one life, so make a difference now because you won’t have the chance to later.
After a few very boring chapters in 1 Chronicles, we move back to Psalms for a few chapters.
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” – Psalm 131:1-3
The above verses are the entirety of Psalm 131. David is not haughty? Give me a break. David is the very definition of haughty. Ug. Even the short chapters in Psalms are disgusting in that they are filled with lies.
Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 138: Of David.
I wish I could say otherwise, but today is another boring chapter in 1 Chronicles. Last time it was a list of priests. Today it’s a list of musicians.
“David, together with the commanders of the army, set apart some of the sons of Asaph, Heman and Jeduthun for the ministry of prophesying, accompanied by harps, lyres and cymbals.” – 1 Chronicles 25:1
And that’s it! The remaining verses are just a list of names of those associated with being musicians. Aren’t we all glad God had time to name musicians but had no time actually help people? Sigh.
Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 131: A song of ascents. Of David.
It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we have some anti-science.
“So the Lord rained hail on the land of Egypt; hail fell and lightning flashed back and forth. It was the worst storm in all the land of Egypt since it had become a nation.” – Exodus 9:23-24
For starters, the Lord doesn’t rain down hail. Hail is just solid precipitation and it rains all the time. The other crazy part of this verse is the difference between the NIV and KJV versions.
“So there was hail, and fire mingled with the hail, very grievous, such as there was none like it in all the land of Egypt since it became a nation.” – Exodus 9:24
The hail is on fire? Um…no. More anti-science from a group of men wanting to control the masses for their own personal gain.
We are now in a boring part of 1 Chronicles, but if we pray to the all-mighty Lord we’ll get through this. Although doing so means we’ll never get through this as there is no Lord. 😊
“This was their appointed order of ministering when they entered the temple of the Lord, according to the regulations prescribed for them by their ancestor Aaron, as the Lord, the God of Israel, had commanded him.” – 1 Chronicles 24:19
To sum things up, this entire chapter is just a list of who the priests are. If you’re bored, you probably should be. That’s normal in a chapter like this.
Coming Soon: 1 Chronicles – Chapter 25: The Musicians
“Physics, chemistry, biology….please feel free to make fun of these, my deeply held beliefs. It doesn’t affect them in the slightest.” – Ricky Gervais
Ricky Gervais nails it. Science doesn’t care what you think. It’s true regardless.
After three chapters in Psalms we move back to 1 Chronicles to learn a bit more about the Levites.
“When David was old and full of years, he made his son Solomon king over Israel.” – 1 Chronicles 23:1
Just an FYI/reminder the reign of David is close to the end.
“David said, ‘Of these (Levites), twenty-four thousand are to be in charge of the work of the temple of the Lord and six thousand are to be officials and judges. Four thousand are to be gatekeepers and four thousand are to praise the Lord with the musical instruments I have provided for that purpose.’” – 1 Chronicles 23:4-5
So much for the idea of freedom. Forced into a specific job.
“These were the descendants of Levi by their families—the heads of families as they were registered under their names and counted individually, that is, the workers twenty years old or more who served in the temple of the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 23:24
I may be missing something, but this verse in which an age of 20+ is stated, contradicts the age of 30+ mentioned in the first few verses.
“They (Levites) were also to stand every morning to thank and praise the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 23:30
God damn what a shit job!
This concludes 1 Chronicles 23. What did we learn? The Levites were forced to serve God and had some shit jobs. Freedom is nowhere to be found in this society.
Coming Soon: 1 Chronicles – Chapter 24: The Divisions of Priests