Introduction to the Song of Songs

Coming up soon is the start of a new chapter in the Bible, the Song of Songs.  The Song of Songs will tell us all about sexual love.  Yes, you read that correctly.  This book is an eight chapter set that explains sex to us.  I’m sure we’ll learn a lot, right?  Everything you ever wanted to know about sex will be contained in this chapter?  Doubtful, but a Bible chapter on sex should at the very least be a bit interesting.

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Psalm – Chapter 119:89-176 – Untitled

A couple of weeks ago I discussed the first half of Psalm 119, the longest chapter in the Bible.  Today we look at the second half.

“Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you.” – Psalm 119:91

There were some awful laws Moses brought down from the mountain.  The fact they still serve in the time of Solomon shows the awfulness of the god of the Bible.

“Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long.” – Psalm 119:97

This guy needs a hobby.

“I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands.” – Psalm 119:131

Um…you’re panting while waiting for God’s commands?  Again…get a hobby.

“Your compassion, Lord, is great; preserve my life according to your laws.” – Psalm 119:156

A god who allows the rape and murder of women and children has no compassion.

“Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws.” – Psalm 119:164

Seriously, how hard is it to find a hobby?!?!

That concludes Psalm 119 and it was a whole lot of nothing!  These people really need hobbies!!!  That was my conclusion after reading 176 verses in a single chapter!

Coming Soon:  Song of Songs – Chapter 1:  Solomon’s Song of Songs

Revelation 22:18-19

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s two verses basically state that anyone who alters the Bible will go to Hell.  Hmmm.

“I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.” – Revelation 22:18-19

There are only two verses after this in the Bible.  The two above make it clear you are not to alter the Bible in any way, which is interesting given the chapters in the Bible were picked over others that were left out.  Even more interesting when you see that different versions of the Bible have different ways of saying things and some chapters are even different!  And what does this mean for interpretation?  Interpret it the wrong way and you go to Hell?  Hmm.  My takeaway is these verses just go to show the ridiculousness of the Bible.  Very little of it makes sense, including a couple of the very last verses in the book.

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s two verses basically state that anyone who alters the Bible will go to Hell.  Hmmm.

 

“I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.” – Revelation 22:18-19

 

There are only two verses after this in the Bible.  The two above make it clear you are not to alter the Bible in any way, which is interesting given the chapters in the Bible were picked over others that were left out.  Even more interesting when you see that different versions of the Bible have different ways of saying things and some chapters are even different!  And what does this mean for interpretation?  Interpret it the wrong way and you go to Hell?  Hmm.  My takeaway is these verses just go to show the ridiculousness of the Bible.  Very little of it makes sense, including a couple of the very last verses in the book.

Psalms – Chapter 72: Of Solomon.

Today we take a detour back into the book of Psalms.

“Endow the king with your justice, O God, the royal son with your righteousness” – Psalms 72:1

Yes, the righteousness of owning slaves.

“May he defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy;” – Psalms 72:4

Solomon is building walls and roads of silver and gold.  This doesn’t save the children of the needy.

“May the desert tribes bow before him and his enemies lick the dust.” – Psalms 72:9

What have these ‘enemies’ done?  The Bible never tells us.  They are conveniently enemies God needs to satisfy the blood lust.

“He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death.” – Psalms 72:13

This is called voting against your own bests interests as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Does anyone really believe Solomon will do any of this?  If so, I have some homeopathic remedies to sell you.  😊

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 119:89-176 – Untitled

2 Chronicles – Chapter 1: Solomon Asks for Wisdom

Today we have our first chapter in the book of 2 Chronicles.  Remember that 2 Chronicles very closely follows 1 Kings, so much of what you see in this chapter will be a repeat of 1 Kings.

“Solomon son of David established himself firmly over his kingdom, for the Lord his God was with him and made him exceedingly great.” – 2 Chronicles 1:1

This makes it clear God backs Solomon.  Solomon does what he does because God has his backing.

“Solomon answered God, ‘You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?’” – 2 Chronicles 1:8-10

These verses point out that Solomon is not yet wise.  It is God granting Solomon wisdom.  So from here on out, everything Solomon does, is a result of God’s ‘wisdom’.  I’m hinting here that much of what Solomon does is not even close to being wise.  Sure makes it seem as if God is a failure.

“The king made silver and gold as common in Jerusalem as stones, and cedar as plentiful as sycamore-fig trees in the foothills.” – 2 Chronicles 1:15

Is it really wise to make things of silver and gold when much of the population is suffering in poverty?

This concludes the first chapter of 1 Chronicles.  Solomon is now in charge of the Israelites and God has granted him the wisdom to rule.  God then gives Solomon a bunch of riches, many of which I did not mention.  An interesting choice given the people are still suffering.  Then again, no one said the god of the Bible was a wise god.

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 72:  Of Solomon.

Introduction to 2 Chronicles

We know from previous discussions that 1 Chronicles follows very closely with 2 Samuel.  A similar theme is present with 2 Chronicles in that it very closely follows 1 Kings, which we’ve already discussed the first four chapters.  The first several chapters of 2 Chronicles will focus on Solomon and the remaining chapters will focus on the time after Solomon.  Tradition says the author is Ezra, but as with most books in the Bible, there is really no clue who the author really is.  That pretty much does it for an introduction.  It’s the Bible, so expect quite a bit of awful stuff to appear in 2 Chronicles.