2 Chronicles – Chapter 15: Asa’s Reform

Happy Halloween! Let the devil ride through the streets and terrify the God fearing children with handfuls of candy! LOL! Today we learn more about Asa, who as king is doing all that is right in the eyes of God. We’ll see what this chapter says, but we know from 1 Kings that Asa is eventually punished by God. Doesn’t matter if you do right in the eyes of God as he’s going to eventually fuck you over

“One nation was being crushed by another and one city by another, because God was troubling them with every kind of distress.” – 2 Chronicles 15:6

Um…sounds like the problem here is not the people, but God.

“At that time they sacrificed to the Lord seven hundred head of cattle and seven thousand sheep and goats from the plunder they had brought back.” – 2 Chronicles 15:11

What a stupid thing to do. World hunger thrived in Biblical days, yet God commanded hundreds and thousands of edible animals to be sacrificed to satisfy his own blood lust.

“All who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, were to be put to death,whether small or great, man or woman.” – 2 Chronicles 15:13

Not willing to follow a god that demands you to kill and rape? Well, then death to you!

“Asa’s heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life.” – 2 Chronicles 15:17

And yet we know from 1 Kings that God punished Asa at the end of his life.

What have we learned? If you don’t follow everything God says to do, you will be killed. Critical thinking is a crime punishable by death. Not a god to be worshipped. Not a book of morals.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 16: Asa’s Last Years

Isaiah 36:12

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse has you eating your own shit and drinking your own piss. Yep.

“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?’” – Isaiah 36:12

And there you have it. Eating shit and drinking piss. No messages about consent and not raping women, but the Bible has your covered on eating shit and drinking piss. 🙂

2 Chronicles – Chapter 14: Asa King of Judah

Today’s chapter begins with the introduction of a new king, Asa.

“Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God.” – 2 Chronicles 14:2

Good in the eyes of the Lord, eh? I’m sure he will be rewarded.

“The Lord struck down the Cushites before Asa and Judah. The Cushites fled,  and Asa and his army pursued them as far as Gerar. Such a great number of Cushites fell that they could not recover; they were crushed before the Lord and his forces.” – 2 Chronicles 14:12-13

Thus far God is with Asa and helps him in war.

That pretty much ends this chapter. We know from 1 Kings 15 that God punishes Asa with deceased feet, but nothing on that in this chapter.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 15: Asa’s Reform

Atheism Quotes – Michael Shermer

Today’s Atheism quote comes from Michael Shermer and is great advice on how to live your life.

“Play hard, work hard, love hard. . . .The bottom line for me is to live life to the fullest in the here-and-now instead of a hoped-for hereafter, and make every day count in some meaningful way and do something—no matter how small it is—to make the world a better place.” – Michael Shermer

Many people have stated something similar to this. The point is we have no guarantees in life. Tomorrow could be our last day and there is no evidence of an after-life. Therefore, what we do here in this life, possibly the only life as evidence suggests, is of the utmost importance. Don’t waste this life. Make the most of it!

2 Chronicles – Chapter 13: Abijah King of Judah

Today we switch over to 2 Chronicles to repeat the discussion we had in 1 Kings 15. God loves his kings so much each one has to be discussed twice!

“Don’t you know that the Lord, the God of Israel, has given the kingship of Israel to David and his descendants forever by a covenant of salt?” – 2 Chronicles 13:5

A covenant of salt? SMH. After several battles and many, many deaths, the Bible delivers us a moral lesson.

“But Abijah grew in strength. He married fourteen wives and had twenty-two sons and sixteen daughters.” – 2 Chronicles 13:21

Fourteen wives, eh? Family values at their finest! One wife is not good enough. Every powerful man has multiple wives!

The Bible is disgusting. It is murder, war, rape, incest, and multiple wives/concubines. Not a book to life one’s life by.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 14: Asa King of Judah

1 Kings – Chapter 15:1-24: Abijah King of Judah

Today we move back to 1 Kings where we have a new king.

“He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his forefather had been.” – 1 Kings 15:3

God’s gonna bring the smackdown on this king!

“Nevertheless, for David’s sake the Lord his God gave him a lamp in Jerusalem by raising up a son to succeed him and by making Jerusalem strong.” – 1 Kings 15:4

See, take a look at that massive smack…WTF?!?!?! The king does evil in the eyes of God and God just says, okay, no problem, I liked David so I’m going to make you a strong king. WTF!?!?!? This is why the Bible is not a book of morals. Those who do good are punished and too often those who do bad are not only not punished but are praised by God!

“Asa did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as his father David had done.” – 1 Kings 15:11

Asa is the next king. He does what is right in the eyes of the Lord. Asa’s reward?

“In his old age, however, his feet became diseased.” – 1 Kings 15:23

Diseased feet! Now, I know there is no connection between Asa’s good deeds and diseased feet, but in the eyes of Christians, in which God does all, God is the one who did this to Asa. So according to Christians, once again God does bad to those who do good. A book of morals? Nope!

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 13: Abijah King of Judah

Jonah 2:10

If you think it’s possible for humans to live inside a fish, you won’t find this verse crazy. But if you are a normal human being who knows this is bullshit, you’ll find today’s verse quite crazy!

“And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.” – Jonah 2:10

Seriously Christians? Seriously?

2 Chronicles – Chapter 12: Shishak Attacks Jerusalem

Today we continue in 2 Chronicles, taking a close look at chapter 12.

“Because they had been unfaithful to the Lord, Shishak king of Egypt attacked Jerusalem in the fifth year of King Rehoboam.” – 2 Chronicles 12:2

Uh-oh. The greatest sin in the eye’s of God is not rape or murder. It is being unfaithful to God!

“When the Lord saw that they humbled themselves, this word of the Lord came to Shemaiah: ‘Since they have humbled themselves, I will not destroy them but will soon give them deliverance. My wrath will not be poured out on Jerusalem through Shishak. They will, however, become subject to him, so that they may learn the difference between serving me and serving the kings of other lands.’” – 2 Chronicles 12:7-8

Give credit to God on his consistency of demanding the people be faithful to him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an asshole god, but a consistent asshole god on this issue.

“Rehoboam rested with his ancestors and was buried in the City of David. And Abijah his son succeeded him as king.” – 2 Chronicles 12:16

And the reign of Rehoboam as king comes to an end.

Not much else to say about this chapter. Do exactly what God says at all times and you will be rewarded, unless you are Job, in which case God will destroy you and your family. 🙂

Coming Soon: 1 Kings 15:25-34: Abijah King of Judah

Atheism Quotes – Chris Evans

Today’s Atheism Quote makes sense to anyone with critical thinking skills.

Are you kidding me? It’s insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It’s embarrassing, and it’s heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I’m completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we’ll be ashamed that this was an issue.” – Chris Evans

Makes perfect sense, unless you are an evangelical Christian (and many other religions) in which case a book that says it is okay to rape and have concubines overrules your critical thinking ability.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 11: Rehoboam Fortifies Judah

Today’s chapter is a repeat of 1 Kings 13, but we’ll take a look at it anyway because that’s the way I roll. 🙂

“This is what the Lord says: Do not go up to fight against your fellow Israelites. Go home, every one of you, for this is my doing.” – 2 Chronicles 11:4

The Lord is stopping the fighting, but all of the misery the people are suffering is by God’s doing. This verse directly states that. There is no question. The people are suffering and God wants it this way.

“Rehoboam married Mahalath, who was the daughter of David’s son Jerimoth and of Abihail, the daughter of Jesse’s son Eliab.  She bore him sons: Jeush, Shemariah and Zaham. Then he married Maakah daughter of Absalom, who bore him Abijah, Attai, Ziza and Shelomith. Rehoboam loved Maakah daughter of Absalom more than any of his other wives and concubines. In all, he had eighteen wives and sixty concubines, twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters.” – 2 Chronicles 11:18-21

Um…okay. Those are some fantastic family values the Bible supports. Rehoboam loves his SECOND wife more than any of his other wives and concubines. The family values crowd can just go shut the fuck up. The Bible is not a book about family values. It’s a book in which men have all the control and women are forced to sit down and shut up.

Family values? Give me a fucking break.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 12: Shishak Attacks Jerusalem