1 Kings – Chapter 11: Solomon’s Wives

Given the title of this chapter, this ought to be a good one. The wise Solomon who God loves and spends much time in the Bible discussing, has multiple wives? Oh, this should be good!

“King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.” – 1 Kings 11:1

Not only did Solomon love other women, he loved foreigners! What is okay for Solomon to do is not okay for you to do in the eyes of God.

“He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.” – 1 Kings 11:3

Jesus fucking christ. And the Bible is a book of morals. ROFL!!!

“As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.” – 1 Kings 11:4

Oh sure…blame it on the women.

“So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.” – 1 Kings 11:6

Notice how it is not the many wives and concubines that upset God. It’s the worshiping of other gods. What a petty, stupid god.

“So the Lord said to Solomon, ‘Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates.’” – 1 Kings 11:12

And how many innocent people will God kill because he’s pissed at Solomon?

“Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son.” – 1 Kings 11:13

Holy fuck! God’s not even going to do this to Solomon. He’s going to do this to the son. Jesus fucking christ. The next several chapters focus on random people God is raising up against Solomon to attack Solomon’s son. God, the wimp, punishes others instead of the guilty.

“Solomon reigned in Jerusalem over all Israel forty years.” – 1 Kings 11:42

And thus ends the reign of Solomon, another horrible story in the Bible, a book that is supposed to be a book of morals, according to Christianity.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles 9: The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon

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