1 Kings – Chapter 12: Israel Rebels Against Rehoboam

We continue bouncing around in 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles, moving back to 1 Kings today. Solomon is dead and we move on to the next Israelite king.

“So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.’” – 1 Kings 12:3-4

A reasonable request given Solomon was the richest person ever and didn’t share, causing the people to live in poverty.

“The young men who had grown up with him replied, ‘These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’’” – 1 Kings 12:10-11

Well, this is one way to respond, if your intention is to be a horrible leader.

“So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the Lord, to fulfill the word the Lord had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijahthe Shilonite.” – 1 Kings 12:15

Ah, using God’s evil as justification to be evil in turn to the people. Biblical morals.

“King Rehoboam sent out Adoniram, who was in charge of forced labor, but all Israel stoned him to death.” – 1 Kings 12:18

You just told the people you wanted them to live even shittier lives than they were living before. What did you expect?

“So Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.” – 1 Kings 12:19

Wait…to this day? This is why there is still unrest in the Middle East? Because of some jackass king supported by God thousands of years ago? Give me a fucking break.

“This is what the Lord says: Do not go up to fight against your brothers, the Israelites. Go home, every one of you, for this is my doing.” – 1 Kings 12:24

Confirming all this trouble is God’s doing. What a jackass.

“After seeking advice, the king made two golden calves.” – 1 Kings 12:28

Uh oh. Nothing pisses of God more than a golden idol. Rape and murder are okay, but an idol made from gold? Fuck that shit!

And that ends this chapter. There are a few more verses on festivals on worshipping these idols. God’s going to be pissed!

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 13: The Man of God From Judah

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