Best Part of Mass

Similar to last week, I’m moving away from Atheism quotes for a while and back to Atheism-related memes. We all need a bit of humor now and then and the summer is a great time for some Sunday humor.

bye

I’ve never been to mass, but I’m sure this describes perfectly the best part of it. LOL! I found this on the Skeptical Mama Facebook page. Hilarious!

Introduction to Hosea

It’s time to move on to a new book in the Bible, Hosea. Hosea was another prophet in the Bible. Wikipedia refers to Hosea as the “prophet of doom”. LOL! The whole Bible is doom if you don’t follow God’s every command, and even then, God often punishes. Don’t believe me? Read the book of Job.

Hosea has fourteen chapters which I’ll cover in order on this blog. I expect we’ll see much of the same. Everything is going wrong, everyone will be doomed, but if they put their faith in God, they’ll be saved. Yeah, right. As we’ve seen over and over and over, the people are only suffering because of God. God hardened the hearts of others to punish the Israelites, but if they only follow him, he’ll save them. Ug. This is child abuse.

Psalm – Chapter 48: A song. A psalm of the Sons of Korah.

Today we move back to the book of Psalms. Although I’ve covered much of Psalms already, there are still a few left in the chronological order guide I’m using to go through the Bible.

“Great is the Lord,” – Psalm 48:1

Um…no. Given the death and destruction God has caused, he is only great if the word great is followed by asshole, as in ‘Great Asshole’. 🙂

“Trembling seized them there, pain like that of a woman in labor.” – Psalm 48:6

Sorry, but no man has any understanding of the pain women experience in childbirth.

“God makes her secure Forever.” – Psalm 48:8

Until he gets pissed off the next time. The Bible has shown us numerous times that God’s love comes with a whole bunch of strings attached and as soon as one of those strings weakens, he strikes with vengeance.

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” – Psalm 48:14

Except for those times he disappears and except for those times when he deliberately causes death and destruction.

This is not a God to worship. If God is saving anyone it’s because he has deliberately caused that person harm. Take one look at the hardening of hearts throughout the Bible. God needs to harden hearts so he can swoop in and be a savior.

Coming Soon: Hosea – Chapter 1: Hosea’s Wife and Children

Biblical Absurdity

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday, but today is a bit different. Instead of a verse, I have comments on the Bible in general that came through a comment on this blog a few weeks back. The commenter commented on how stupid the people of the Old Testament were for ignoring God all the time and then suffering greatly. There’s certainly some truth to this.

God tells the people to worship him, they don’t, he punishes them, they repent, then they don’t, then he punishes them, wash, rinse, repeat over and over. So what does this all mean? Well, it could mean that God doesn’t exist and the Bible was written to control the masses. Or it could mean God does exist but doesn’t show himself so the people don’t know what to do and the authors of the Bible lie about God’s appearances. Or it could mean that God’s just an asshole and the people truly are stupid. But if it’s clear that there is a God causing mass mayhem to punish people, the people would certainly do better. Thus to me it is clear that this god make does not make appearances, either because he doesn’t exist or because he wants to be an asshole to satisfy his blood lust.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 31: Contributions for Worship

The story of Hezekiah is not over yet. It continues in 2 Chronicles 31.

“When all this had ended, the Israelites who were there went out to the towns of Judah, smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles.” – 2 Chronicles 31:1

I find it interesting that the very Christians who support this destruction of property are completely against Confederate statues being torn down. When it comes to racism, they always shout out that we shouldn’t destroy history. But when it comes to history of other religions, they are all for destroying it.

“As for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who lived on the farmlands around their towns or in any other towns, men were designated by name to distribute portions to every male among them and to all who were recorded in the genealogies of the Levites.” – 2 Chronicles 31:19

Fuck the women!

“This is what Hezekiah did throughout Judah, doing what was good and right and faithful before the Lord his God.” – 2 Chronicles 31:20

Sure…based on what we’ve read so far, Hezekiah had a bunch of statues torn down and a bunch of animals slaughtered and burned to satisfy God’s blood lust. What has he done to actually help the people?

Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 48: A song. A psalm of the Sons of Korah.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 30: Hezekiah Celebrates the Passover

The story of Hezekiah continues today in 2 Chronicles 30.

“The king and his officials and the whole assembly in Jerusalem decided to celebrate the Passover in the second month.” – 2 Chronicles 30:2

What to do after sacrificing thousands of animals to God? Throw a party!!!

“Do not be like your parents and your fellow Israelites, who were unfaithful to the Lord, the God of their ancestors, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see.” – 2 Chronicles 30:7

Sure…God has the power to make people believe, to show people real signs of his existence, but he doesn’t. Thus when people question and think critically, he kills them all. Sigh.

“The couriers went from town to town in Ephraim and Manasseh, as far as Zebulun, but the people scorned and ridiculed them.” – 2 Chronicles 30:10

As they should! You would do the same if couriers knocked on your door to share religion with you. In fact, you already probably do it when Mormon’s or Jehovah Witnesses knock on the door!

“Since many in the crowd had not consecrated themselves, the Levites had to kill the Passover lambs for all those who were not ceremonially clean and could not consecrate their lambs to the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 30:17

More stupid rules from God. Some of the Levites were not clean so lambs had to be killed. What…the…fuck?!?!?!?

“There was great joy in Jerusalem, for since the days of Solomon son of David king of Israel there had been nothing like this in Jerusalem.” – 2 Chronicles 30:26

We killed lots of animals to satisfy God’s blood lust. Woohoo!!!

The Bible has become very repetitive in these chapters. It starts with kings God likes and then goes to kings God doesn’t like and then switches back and forth. What’s the real problem in all of this? It’s not the people. The problem is God.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 31: Contributions for Worship

2 Chronicles – Chapter 29: Hezekiah Purifies the Temple

Today we shift back to 2 Chronicles. This chapter is similar to 2 Kings 8 and talks about King Hezekiah.

“And he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that David his father had done.” – 2 Chronicles 29:2

David had hundreds to thousands of wives and concubines. Traditional biblical marriage at its best. 🙂

“He in the first year of his reign, in the first month, opened the doors of the house of the Lord, and repaired them.” – 2 Chronicles 29:3

But God is petty, so all you have to do is kiss his ass and he loves you. Doesn’t matter if you are a truly moral person. Say nice things to God and he’ll love you.

“Then they went in to King Hezekiah and reported: ‘We have purified the entire temple of the Lord, the altar of burnt offering with all its utensils, and the table for setting out the consecrated bread, with all its articles.’” – 2 Chronicles 29:18

God likes his shit clean.

“So they slaughtered the bulls, and the priests took the blood and splashed it against the altar; next they slaughtered the rams and splashed their blood against the altar; then they slaughtered the lambs and splashed their blood against the altar.” – 2 Chronicles 29:22

Sounds like a waste of food at a time when too many people are struggling to acquire adequate nourishment. Then again, God was never really about caring for people.

“The number of burnt offerings the assembly brought was seventy bulls, a hundred rams and two hundred male lambs—all of them for burnt offerings to the Lord. The animals consecrated as sacrifices amounted to six hundred bulls and three thousand sheep and goats.” – 2 Chronicles 29:32-33

If you were thinking that maybe only one animal was sacrificed, think again. Thousands of animals were sacrificed!

“So the service of the temple of the Lord was reestablished. Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced at what God had brought about for his people, because it was done so quickly.” – 2 Chronicles 29:35-36

Woohoo! We sacrificed a bunch of animals! We are the best! God loves us now!

This is another in a long line of chapters that clearly show how ridiculous the Bible is when actually read. To make God love you again you have to burn thousands of animals? Seriously? This is who Christians worship?

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 30: Hezekiah Celebrates the Passover

Philemon 7

Today is Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and I’ve pulled a quote from Philemon.

“Your love has given me great joy and encouragement,because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.” – Philemon 7

Hmmm….what’s so crazy about this quote? Nothing, until you read the translation in the King James Version.

 

“For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.” – Philemon 7

 

The bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

This is why the Bible is bullshit. There’s so many different versions with drastically different language. Refreshed the hearts vs. refreshed the bowels? That’s quite a change!

2 Kings – Chapter 18 Verses 1 – 8: Hezekiah King of Judah

After a long stretch through Isaiah, of which we are not yet finished, we move back to the book of 2 Kings and take a look at the first few verses in the eighth chapter.

“In the third year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Hezekiah son of Ahaz king of Judah began to reign.” – 2 Kings 8:1

We are back to learning about all of the kings.

“He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father David had done.” – 2 Kings 8:3

We won’t find out in these first eight verses, so we’ll have to wait and see if doing right in the eyes of the Lord was helpful to Hezekiah.

“Hezekiah trusted in the  in Lord, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him. He held fast to the Lord and did not stop following him; he kept the commands the Lord had given Moses.  And the Lord was with him; he was successful in whatever he undertook. He rebelled against the king of Assyria and did not serve him.  From watchtower to fortified city, he defeated the Philistines, as far as Gaza and its territory.” – 2 Kings 8:5-8

Hezekiah is a true believer and follower in God. Then again, so was Job and we all know what happened to him.

We’ll have to catch the end of this story later. The chronological order guide I’m following jumps around a bit at this point before returning to 2 Kings 8 to finish the chapter.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 29: Hezekiah Purifies the Temple