2 Kings – Chapter 19: Jerusalem’s Deliverance Foretold

We continue in the book of 2 Kings today.

“When King Hezekiah heard this, he tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and went into the temple of the Lord.” – 2 Kings 19:1

I’ll never understand the tearing of clothes in the Bible. I’ve gotten mad before, but ripping my clothes off has never crossed my mind.

“And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: ‘Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.’” – 2 Kings 19:15-16

Makes sense. I know I pray to God when I’ve ripped my clothes. Have never ripped them intentionally but there are times where my shirt might catch on something and rip or I may spill something and I shout out “God dammit!!!” LOL!

“Because you rage against me and because your insolence has reached my ears, I will put my hook in your nose and my bit in your mouth, and I will make you return by the way you came.’” – 2 Kings 19:28

Don’t ever cross God because he will FUCK YOU UP!

“This will be the sign for you, Hezekiah: ‘This year you will eat what grows by itself,   and the second year what springs from that. But in the third year sow and reap,  plant vineyards and eat their fruit.” – 2 Kings 19:29

Plant your crops by my commands and I will save you from this army? Wow.

“That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand in the Assyrian camp. When the people got up the next morning—there were all the dead bodies!” – 2 Kings 19:35

God kills more people.

“One day, while he was worshiping in the temple of his god Nisrok, his sons Adrammelek and Sharezer killed him with the sword, and they escaped to the land of Ararat. And Esarhaddon his son succeeded him as king.” – 2 Kings 19:37

This refers to the King of Assyria. God has the ability to bring peace, but he refuses, preferring war, death, and destruction.

Is it possible for the lands to achieve peace? Yes, toss God out for he is the bringing of war.

Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 46: For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.

2 Kings – Chapter 18:9-37: Hezekiah King of Judah

Today we take a break from Isaiah and move back to 2 Kings where Hezekiah is now king.

“In King Hezekiah’s fourth year, which was the seventh year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Shalmaneser king of Assyria marched against Samaria and laid siege to it. At the end of three years the Assyrians took it. So Samaria was captured in Hezekiah’s sixth year, which was the ninth year of Hoshea king of Israel. The king of Assyria deported Israel to Assyria and settled them in Halah, in Gozan on the Habor River and in towns of the Medes. This happened because they had not obeyed the Lord their God, but had violated his covenant—all that Moses the servant of the Lord commanded. They neither listened to the commands nor carried them out.” – 2 Kings 18:9-12

War is taking place based on who is and isn’t obeying God.

“Furthermore, have I come to attack and destroy this place without word from the Lord? The Lord himself told me to march against this country and destroy it.” – 2 Kings 18:25

God is not peace.

“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?’” – 2 Kings 18:27

This isn’t my favorite verse in the Bible but it ranks in the top ten! You will have to eat your own shit and drink your own piss. LOL!

“Do not listen to Hezekiah, for he is misleading you when he says, ‘The Lord will deliver us.’” – 2 Kings 18:32

This is a pissing match to see who loves God the most.

That concludes this chapter. There is a battle on who loves God the most and who God will support, along with some trash talk about eating your own shit and drinking your own piss. ROFL!

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 19: Jerusalem’s Deliverance Foretold

1 Samuel 5:6

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday. Christians describe their god as a loving god who is slow to anger. Slow to anger? He killed off the entire population except for Noah’s family in a flood and then forced them to have incestual sex with each other to re-populate the Earth. Then there’s this, from 1 Samuel 5.

“The Lord’s hand was heavy on the people of Ashdod and its vicinity; he brought devastation on them and afflicted them with tumors.” – 1 Samuel 5:6

God gets pissy and gives the people tumors. But God loves you. Don’t ever forget that. He loves you so much that he sends his love in the form of tumors that will destroy your body and kill you with his love. 🙂

Isaiah – Chapter 48: Stubborn Israel

According to the title of this chapter, Israel is stubborn and that doesn’t bode well for them. Then again, anything you do that goes against God, even the silly little rules, is stubborn. And sometimes you do everything God asks and you still get punished (see Job)!

“You have neither heard nor understood; from of old your ears have not been open. Well do I know how treacherous you are; you were called a rebel from birth. For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely.” – Isaiah 48:8-9

How nice of God to only destroy the Israelites partially. Because he doesn’t destroy you completely, he apparently loves you?

“For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this.” – Isaiah 48:11

God is only doing this for himself. He doesn’t really care about you. 

“Come together, all of you, and listen: Which of the idols has foretold these things?” – Isaiah 48:14

It is true that idols do not foretell the future, but then again, neither has God. God has not once shown himself to the people. It is prophets that supposedly speak God’s word. 

“I am the Lord your God,  who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” – Isaiah 48:17

Let us not forget that God has commanded death, destruction, rape, and killing of babies in the past.

“If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea.” – Isaiah 48:18

If only you had raped those women and killed those children as I commanded.

“There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.” – Isaiah 48:22

Well, let’s be honest, there is no peace for ANYONE on Earth with God in command.

What did we learn in this chapter? God is upset that the people are not following his every command and therefore is about to punish them. Yet God never speaks to the people. We are told Isaiah is speaking the word of God but have no vetting of Isaiah this is the truth.

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 18:9-37: Hezekiah King of Judah

Noah’s Ark Meme

Memes are fun. I’ve been posting a new religious themed meme every Sunday for the past several weeks and I plan to continue to do so for a few more weeks. Here’s a meme that describes how I feel when reading the story of Noah’s Ark.

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What the meme doesn’t get into is how Noah, his wife, his kids and their spouses, then repopulates the Earth through incestuous sex. 🙂

Isaiah – Chapter 47: The Fall of Babylon

God is a killer. We know that. But now Babylon is about to fall to warn us all to never, ever cross the jealous, angry god of the Bible.

“Your nakedness will be exposed and your shame uncovered.” – Isaiah 47:3

The Bible continues to shame women by comparing naked women to towns and groups of people God is about to destroy. 

“I was angry with my people and desecrated my inheritance; I gave them into your hand, and you showed them no mercy.” – Isaiah 47:6

God is to blame here. He’s the one who never shows himself and he’s the one who brought evil into this world. 

“Both of these will overtake you in a moment, on a single day: loss of children and widowhood.” – Isaiah 47:9

And to punish you, God is going to punish others by killing your spouse and children because nothing says God loves you more than God killing children.

God, the murderer and rapist. God, the god that Christians love to worship. Sigh.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 48: Stubborn Israel

Isaiah – Chapter 46: Gods of Babylon

In the last chapter it was made clear that God brought evil into the world. Not men. Not women. God. God brought evil into this world. 

“Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,  all the remnant of the people of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs  I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” – Isaiah 46:3-4

Unless of course God kills you first as he has said he will do. 

“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.” – Isaiah 46:9

True. God is like no other. God has killed far more people than anyone in the history of humankind.

God finally tells the truth! He is like no other as no other kills the way God kills. 🙂

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 47: The Fall of Babylon