Revelation 20:5

It’s the last day of 2019 and the last day of the decade that started on January 1, 2010. So for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday it seems only fitting to pull a verse from Revelation about the end of times. 🙂

“(The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection.” – Revelation 20:5

ZOMBIES!!! But late zombies. These fucking zombies waited 1000 years before appearing. Talk about being ‘fashionably’ late to the party! LOL!

Isaiah – Chapter 57: Untitled

More Isaiah today, this time taking a look at Chapter 57.

“The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.” – Isaiah 57:1

Seriously? So if God kills you or rapes you, it was to spare you from evil? Give me a fucking break.

“But you—come here, you children of a sorceress, you offspring of adulterers and prostitutes!” – Isaiah 57:3

God punishing the children for the actions of the parents. This is an asshole god.

“I will expose your righteousness and your works, and they will not benefit you.” – Isaiah 57:12

Read this carefully. God knows there are righteous people out there but because they are not righteous in exactly the way God demands, God is taking away all of the good they did. What a pathetic god.

“I was enraged by their sinful greed; I punished them, and hid my face in anger, yet they kept on in their willful ways.” – Isaiah 57:17

This is not a god of love and peace. This is a god of anger and pettiness.

What did we learn in this chapter? God is a massive asshole. Okay, we didn’t learn that because we already knew that, but this chapter further reinforces the fact that the Bible describes God as one massive asshole.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 58: True Fasting

Isaiah – Chapter 56: Salvation for Others

We continue in the book of Isaiah today.

“This is what the Lord says: ‘Maintain justice  and do what is right, for my salvation is close at hand  and my righteousness will soon be revealed.’” – Isaiah 56:1

Very hypocritical for God to say this given the great harm he has caused to the people, including rape, murder, and destruction of homes and crops.

There’s not much else of worth in this chapter. God continues to say that those who do right in his eyes will be rewarded and those who do evil will be punished. But it’s all talk because we know what God did to Job. God said Job was the most righteous person on the planet but God punished him severely, including the death of his wife and family.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 57: Untitled

Matthew 1:18-25

Twas the night before Christmas and it was Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Today is a lovely story of love between a woman, a man, and the God that raped her.

“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about]: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel’ (which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” Matthew 1:18-25

Translation: Mary slept with another guy, which is entirely her choice, but Joseph is so clueless that he believes Mary’s story that she’s a virgin and just has no idea how she could possibly have become pregnant. 

Isaiah – Chapter 55: Invitation to the Thirsty

We ended the last chapter of Isaiah learning once again that God is a domestic abuser. Yep. Today we find out what happens to the thirsty people.

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!” – Isaiah 55:1

How are those with no money supposed to come and BUY and eat? How are they buying anything?!?!? Granted the next verse says they can buy at no cost, but that’s not what the word ‘buy’ means. In the end though, the people are required to buy. Maybe they are not buying with money, but to get what God offers they must follow each and every rule, no matter how ridiculous or evil. If they don’t, they are killed and often several generations after them are punished. And even when they do follow all of the rules, they suffer (see Job). 

“I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.” – Isaiah 55:3

Sure. Just like God did with all of the people he needlessly killed.

“Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,   and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign,  that will endure forever.” – Isaiah 55:13

Or, and hear me out, just take away the evil you brought to this world! Stop killing women and children. Stop raping women. Stop destroying cities and towns.

God talks a lot about love in the Bible. But he’s all talk with no follow through.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 56: Salvation for Others

Isaiah – Chapter 54: The Future Glory of Zion

In the last chapter of Isaiah we saw a foreshadowing to Jesus, because apparently the only way to help people is to create a “son” who comes down from heaven and takes away everyone’s sin through a crucifixion. Um…sure.

“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord.” – Isaiah 54:1

This implies that only fertile women can have husbands. So a woman is unworthy of marriage if she can’t have kids? Biblical misogyny.

“For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—” – Isaiah 54:5

Also known as rape.

“‘In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,’ says the Lord your Redeemer.” – Isaiah 54:8

Wrong. An all-knowing perfect god would not make this mistake. Either God is not perfect and can make mistakes, in which case the entire Bible falls apart, or this God knowingly chooses to cause pain.

“All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” – Isaiah 54:13

This, of course, only applies to the children God hasn’t yet killed.

This chapter is basically a summary of God admitting he did a bunch of wrong stuff and caused a bunch of harm, but now he really does mean he loves you. Classic domestic abuser at work here.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 55: Invitation to the Thirsty

Isaiah – Chapter 53: Untitled

Today we continue through the book of Isaiah.

“Surely he took up our pain  and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God,  stricken by him, and afflicted.” – Isaiah 53:4

Don’t worry when you see someone suffering. It’s not God causing the suffering. The suffering individual has taken it upon them to bear the pain and suffering of others to help them out. Yeah, right. A foreshadowing of Jesus. 

“We all, like sheep, have gone astray,each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” – Isaiah 53:6

God unjustly punishes one to help others. The crimes of one are punished by causing suffering of others.

“For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished.” – Isaiah 53:8

More evidence of God punishing the wrong person, in this case his one and only ‘son’. 

“For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.” – Isaiah 53:12

The foreshadowing of Jesus. God creates his own son to absorb the sin of others, which makes no sense at all.

This is supposed to be a loving story of how God’s son, Jesus, will lovingly come in and wipe away the sins of the people. But it’s not a loving story. God, the all-knowing, all-powerful God, has to create a son, force him to suffer, to wipe away the very sins that God himself brought to the people. That’s not loving. It’s a stupid, unjust God.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 54: The Future Glory of Zion