2 Kings – Chapter 23: Josiah Renews the Covenant

In the last chapter in 2 Kings we learned that God punishes people before he tells them the laws he wants them to follow. What will we learn today? Let’s find out.

“The king stood by the pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the Lord—to follow the Lord and keep his commands, statutes and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, thus confirming the words of the covenant written in this book. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant.” – 2 Kings 23:3

The king and his people agree to follow God’s laws.

“Although the priests of the high places did not serve at the altar of the Lord in Jerusalem, they ate unleavened bread with their fellow priests.” – 2 Kings 23:9

They ate the wrong bread, of course they should be punished. LOL

“Then Josiah looked around, and when he saw the tombs that were there on the hillside, he had the bones removed from them and burned on the altar to defile it, in accordance with the word of the Lord proclaimed by the man of God who foretold these things.” – 2 Kings 23:16

God told Josiah to burn bones? Um…sure. Read the verse carefully. God didn’t actually say this. It is God supposedly speaking through a prophet who says this. Sounds like the prophet was just trying to see what crazy things he could make the king do!

“Josiah slaughtered all the priests of those high places on the altars and burned human bones on them.” – 2 Kings 23:20

Remember that Josiah did right in the eyes of God. God approves of the slaughter of the priests.

“Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses. Nevertheless, the Lord did not turn away from the heat of his fierce anger, which burned against Judah because of all that Manasseh had done to arouse his anger.” – 2 Kings 23:25-26

Bahahahaha! Josiah does everything God has asked but God turns around and says, nope, I’m still fucking pissed and you shall pay!!!

“While Josiah was king, Pharaoh Necho king of Egypt went up to the Euphrates River to help the king of Assyria. King Josiah marched out to meet him in battle, but Necho faced him and killed him at Megiddo.” – 2 Kings 23:29

The king who does everything God wants is killed in battle. LOL! The god of the Bible is the greatest asshole in storytelling history.

“He (Jehoahaz) did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:32

Good, bad, doesn’t matter. God still unjustly punishes the people.

“Jehoiakim was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eleven years. His mother’s name was Zebidah daughter of Pedaiah; she was from Rumah. And he did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:37

Another bad king, but God is worse.

So what did we learn? We learned that God doesn’t give a shit if you do everything he asks. God will still punish you and kill you before your time. It’s his way. He’s an asshole.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 34: Josiah’s Reforms

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s