Jeremiah – Chapter 3: Unfaithful Israel

The title of this chapter tells us that God is still pissy. Let’s see how pissy.

“If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled?” – Jeremiah 3:1

Given she’s with another man, no. Leave her alone.

“During the reign of King Josiah, the Lord said to me, ‘Have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up on every high hill and under every spreading tree and has committed adultery there.’” – Jeremiah 3:6

Either there are few trees or there was a lot of sex going on! 🙂

“I thought that after she had done all this she would return to me but she did not, and her unfaithful sister Judah saw it.” – Jeremiah 3:7

They just had a bunch of sex under every tree, why would they return to God? They are off having fun for a change!

“I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.” – Jeremiah 3:8

LOL! Sorry God, but the people divorced you first and rightfully so!

“The Lord said to me, ‘Faithless Israel is more righteous than unfaithful Judah.’” – Jeremiah 3:11

Sure, God, if that makes you feel better.

“‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the Lord, ‘I will frown on you no longer, for I am faithful,’ declares the Lord, ‘I will not be angry forever.’” – Jeremiah 3:12

ROFL! God will not be angry forever? He’s angry all the time in the Bible!!!

“‘But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you, Israel, have been unfaithful to me,’ declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 3:20

More sexism in the Bible. The women are always unfaithful in the Bible, but in reality, men are just as unfaithful in the real world and arguably more unfaithful.

The Israelites should stay away from God. It’s better for them without the god of the Bible.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 4: Disaster From the North

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