1 Kings – Chapter 11: Solomon’s Wives

Given the title of this chapter, this ought to be a good one. The wise Solomon who God loves and spends much time in the Bible discussing, has multiple wives? Oh, this should be good!

“King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.” – 1 Kings 11:1

Not only did Solomon love other women, he loved foreigners! What is okay for Solomon to do is not okay for you to do in the eyes of God.

“He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.” – 1 Kings 11:3

Jesus fucking christ. And the Bible is a book of morals. ROFL!!!

“As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.” – 1 Kings 11:4

Oh sure…blame it on the women.

“So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.” – 1 Kings 11:6

Notice how it is not the many wives and concubines that upset God. It’s the worshiping of other gods. What a petty, stupid god.

“So the Lord said to Solomon, ‘Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates.’” – 1 Kings 11:12

And how many innocent people will God kill because he’s pissed at Solomon?

“Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son.” – 1 Kings 11:13

Holy fuck! God’s not even going to do this to Solomon. He’s going to do this to the son. Jesus fucking christ. The next several chapters focus on random people God is raising up against Solomon to attack Solomon’s son. God, the wimp, punishes others instead of the guilty.

“Solomon reigned in Jerusalem over all Israel forty years.” – 1 Kings 11:42

And thus ends the reign of Solomon, another horrible story in the Bible, a book that is supposed to be a book of morals, according to Christianity.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles 9: The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon

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1 Kings – Chapter 10: The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon

After digging through the book of Ecclesiastes, we return to 1 Kings. The chapter starts with the story of the Queen of Shea coming to Solomon and asking him questions about his kingdom.

“King Solomon gave the queen of Sheba all she desired and asked for, besides what he had given her out of his royal bounty. Then she left and returned with her retinue to her own country.” – 1 Kings 10:13

And this ends the visit of Sheba to Solomon.

“The weight of the gold that Solomon received yearly was 666 talents…” 1 Kings 10:14

The Bible spends more time discussing Solomon’s riches than it does ending slavery.

“Twelve lions stood on the six steps, one at either end of each step. Nothing like it had ever been made for any other kingdom.” – 1 Kings 10:20

Yes, we get it. This is a great, rich kingdom, but tell us more how slavery is immoral please.

“Solomon accumulated chariots and horses; he had fourteen hundred chariots and twelve thousand horses, which he kept in the chariot cities and also with him in Jerusalem.” – 1 Kings 10:26

Yes, that is a lot of horses, but what about rape? Is raping women wrong or is it still okay if you marry the woman after?

This chapter entirely focuses on Solomon’s riches. The number of Bible chapters discussing how rich God’s favorites are far exceed the number of chapters teaching us how to be moral people.

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 11: Solomon’s Wives

Genesis 4:18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week’s verse is a continuation of last week.

“To Enoch was born Irad” – Genesis 4:18

Who is Enoch? Enoch is the child of Cain and his wife, but we learned last week that Cain’s wife must be Eve, his mother, as she was the only woman on Earth. The Bible has yet to introduce another woman, so if Irad was born to Enoch, Enoch must have had sex with a woman. Yet there is still only one woman in the Bible and that woman is Eve. Meaning Enoch had sex with his…grandmother.

Oh the Bible, thy book of no critical thinking. 🙂

Summary of Ecclesiastes

I recently finished discussing all twelve chapters in the book of Ecclesiastes. This was an interesting book that is supposedly the words of a wise man on the meaning of life. The meaning of life, however, is life is meaningless. At times the book tells us to enjoy life, but at other times it states life is meaningless and it doesn’t matter what we do.

But it does matter what we do because the wise man speaking ends the book telling us we must worship God, follow his laws, fear him, and be ready to be judged by God whether we do good or evil. But here’s the catch, to follow God’s laws by definition means you will commit evil. God commands and/or condones slavery, rape, murder, etc. God commands evil acts. So either you ignore God and commit evil in his eyes, or you obey God and you commit evil in his eyes. There’s no escape.

Thinking further on this, if you believe in the God of the Bible, yes, life is meaningless, for no matter what you do, you are committing evil. That is the trap God has put you in. Thus this is either a make believe god (my belief) or this is a real god but one that is an asshole and not worthy of your worship.

Atheism Quotes – No Credited

Below is an Atheism quote I found on the web but is not credited.

“It’s quite easy for the usual theological excuse to be trotted out to explain the problem of evil: God works in mysterious ways.”

This general quote could have been penned by anyone with critical thinking skills and variations of it have probably been credited to many people. Christians always tell us God works in mysterious ways and we are not privy to the knowledge to understand God’s ways. So maybe, just maybe, God is so mysterious he doesn’t exist!

Ecclesiastes – Chapter 12: Untitled

Here we are, the final chapter in Ecclesiastes. Maybe this chapter will finally tell us that life is meaningful after all? Yeah, I know, doubtful.

“Remember your Creator in the days of your youth…” – Ecclesiastes 12:1

No thanks. This creator has made a meaningless life according to the Bible, so why would I remember something meaningless?

“Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people.” – Ecclesiastes 12:9

Wise? No. The teacher just blabbed on for twelve chapters about how meaningless life is. That’s not wise. That’s just nonsense.

“Now all has been heard;   here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment,  including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” – Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

All has been heard? Really? A book about the meaningless nature of life ends with a statement to fear God, listen to God, follow all of God’s commands, and be ready to be judged. WTF?

So this basically boiled down to twelve chapters of someone babbling on about how life is worthless and ending by saying these are wise words. Christians, is this really the book you worship?

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 10: The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon

Ecclesiastes – Chapter 11: Invest in Many Ventures

Ecclesiastes is almost over. Just two chapters to go and we’ll be done learning about how meaningless life is in the Bible.

“Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight; you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.” – Ecclesiastes 11:2

This is actually good advice. Diversify your portfolio so if one area fails, your entire portfolio does not fail.

“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

Here’s the thing. We know how wind works and we know how a fetus develops. It’s not a mystery.

“Everything to come is meaningless.” – Ecclesiastes 11:8

This seems to include the biblical eternal life in heaven.

So there you go, more words on how meaningless life is and how meaningless everything in the future is…sigh.

Coming Soon: Ecclesiastes – Chapter 12: Untitled