2 Chronicles – Chapter 6: Solomon’s Prayer of Dedication

When discussing 2 Chronicles 5, I stated it was nice to see the very long 1 Kings 8 chapter shortened dramatically. Remember that 2 Chronicles is basically a word for word copy of 1 Kings. Unfortunately I spoke too soon. 2 Chronicles 5 was very short compared to 1 Kings 8, but only because 1 Kings 8 is divided into multiple chapters in 2 Chronicles. Thus we continue 1 Kings 8 in 2 Chronicles 6.

“Then Solomon said, ‘The Lord has said that he would dwell in a dark cloud;  I have built a magnificent temple for you, a place for you to dwell forever.’” – 2 Chronicles 6:1-2

God loves his dark clouds. It’s a great hiding place so he doesn’t have to show himself to the people.

“Now he had made a bronze platform, five cubits long, five cubits wide and three cubits high, and had placed it in the center of the outer court.” – 2 Chronicles 6:13

Making sure everyone knows the dimensions is far more important than doing away with rape and slavery.

“Judge between your servants, condemning the guilty and bringing down on their heads what they have done, and vindicating the innocent by treating them in accordance with their innocence.” – 2 Chronicles 6:23

Let us not forget the god of the Bible often punishes the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of the accused. Justice served.

“When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry…” – 2 Chronicles 6:36

A perfect god can be angry? Interesting.

That concludes this chapter. Solomon spends time praying to God, the full time acknowledging this god will kill some of the Israelites. This is supposedly a perfect god, but a perfect god who has imperfections such as anger. Very telling. It’s almost, and bear with me here, it’s almost as if this god was a man-made god!Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 7: The Dedication of the Temple

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Atheism Quotes – Steven Pinker

Today’s Atheist quote comes from cognitive scientist Steven Pinker.

“Attacks on atheism are usually personal, moralistic, and atrociously argued (not surprisingly).” – Steven Pinker

My favorite is “you have to believe in something!” Um. Not in some make believe being that kills children.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 5: The Ark Brought to the Temple

The authors of the Bible decided bringing the ark to the temple was so important, they repeated the story in a second chapter. Sigh.

“Then the temple of the Lord was filled with the cloud, and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple of God.” – 2 Chronicles 5:13-14

Again, someone burned their macaroni and cheese. If God is truly all-powerful, he should show himself. Until then, he’s a man-made god that doesn’t exist.

Nothing else to report in this chapter. Thankfully the authors saved us some boredom and reduced the chapter from 60+ verses to just 14 verses in the repeat.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 6: Solomon’s Prayer of Dedication

1 Kings – Chapter 8: The Ark Brought to the Temple

Now that the temple is built, it’s time to bring the ark.

“The priests and Levites carried them up, and King Solomon and the entire assembly of Israel that had gathered about him were before the ark, sacrificing so many sheep and cattle that they could not be recorded or counted.” – 1 Kings 8:4-5

WTF? Even in a time of supposed celebration, God insists on a fucking bloodbath. Too many to count?!?!

“When the priests withdrew from the Holy Place, the cloud filled the temple of the Lord. And the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled his temple.” – 1 Kings 8:10-11

Or, you know, someone burned their macaroni and cheese. God is a cloud? Give me a break.

“Then Solomon said, “The Lord has said that he would dwell in a dark cloud…” – 1 Kings 8:12

ROFL. God is a dark cloud? What a joke!

“But will God really dwell on earth? The heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain you.” – 1 Kings 8:27

Obviously. Clouds can squeeze through tight spaces!

“When the heavens are shut up and there is no rain because your people have sinned against you…” – 1 Kings 8:35

See little Johnny…when you whack your pecker, God gets mad and stops it from raining.

“And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy; for they are your people and your inheritance, whom you brought out of Egypt, out of that iron-smelting furnace.” – 1 Kings 8:50-51

Hard to forgive those you’ve already killed.

Wow! An insanely long chapter in which the ark was brought to the temple and Solomon begs God to not punish the Israelites too much. Seriously, that’s what this chapter is about. Solomon begs God to not hurt them too much, but fully expects God to hurt them because all people sin. A god to be worshipped? Nope!

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 5: The Ark Brought to the Temple

1 Chronicles 13:9-10

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we see God, the village idiot.

“When they came to the threshing floor of Kidon, Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the ark, because the oxen stumbled. The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah, and he struck him down because he had put his hand on the ark. So he died there before God.” – 1 Chronicles 13:9-10

Someone tries to help God by saving the ark from damage and God kills that person. Jesus fucking christ.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 4: The Temple’s Furnishings

Here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for in the Bible. The moment that gives us the mother of all morals. It’s finally here. The temple’s furnishings. LOL! This is why the Bible is such a joke. Far more time is spent in the Bible laying out how temples were furnished than telling people to stop enslaving each other, raping each other, etc.

It held three thousand baths.” – 2 Chronicles 4:5

I don’t know, this might not be enough baths.

I won’t bore you with further verses detailing how many wash basins and lamps were in the temple. What a worthless chapter in a worthless book.

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 8: The Ark Brought to the Temple

Atheism Quotes – Aron Ra

Today I bring you another quote from Atheist activist Aron Ra.

“We either base our ‘confidence’ on reason (evident probabilities, past experience, competence, etc) or we base our beliefs on faith, which is blind by definition. Faith is the most dishonest position it is possible to have, because it is an assertion of stoic conviction that is assumed without reason and defended against all reason. If you have to believe it on faith, you have no reason to believe it at all.” – Aron Ra

Well said Ra-man, well said!