2 Chronicles 18:21-22

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we see God forcing people to lie to prove his point. Sigh.

“‘I will go and be a deceiving spirit in the mouths of all his prophets,’ he said. ‘You will succeed in enticing him,’ said the Lord. ‘Go and do it.’ ‘So now the Lord has put a deceiving spirit in the mouths of these prophets of yours. The Lord has decreed disaster for you.’” – 2 Chronicles 18:21-22

Much of the Bible focuses on how evil the average person is. God has to punish people because they lie, deceive, murder, etc. But this verse shows us that God is the one forcing the people to lie! So how often are people punished by God because God forced them to lie? Hmm. An evil god, causing people to be evil, so he can punish them for their evil. Biblical morality.

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2 Chronicles – Chapter 26: Uzziah King of Judah

The book of 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles mirror each other in many ways, including some direct repetition. Today we move to 2 Chronicles to learn about King Uzziah.

“Then all the people of Judah took Uzziah, who was sixteen years old, and made him king in place of his father Amaziah.  He was the one who rebuilt Elath and restored it to Judah after Amaziah rested with his ancestors.” – 2 Chronicles 26:1-2

So far so good for Uzziah.

“He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father Amaziah had done.” – 2 Chronicles 26:4

Okay, things are continuing to go well.

“God helped him against the Philistines and against the Arabs who lived in Gur Baal and against the Meunites.” – 2 Chronicles 26:7

God still supporting Uzziah at this point.

“But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense.  Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the Lord followed him in.  They confronted King Uzziah and said, ‘It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.’” – 2 Chronicles 26:16-18

And there you go folks. How fucking dare Uzziah burn incense on the altar of incense! HOW FUCKING DARE HE!!!

“Uzziah, who had a censer in his hand ready to burn incense, became angry. While he was raging at the priests in their presence before the incense altar in the Lord’s temple, leprosy broke out on his forehead.” – 2 Chronicles 26:19

Just like that, God gives Uzziah leprosy, for burning incense on an altar INTENDED FOR BURNING INCENSE!

“King Uzziah had leprosy until the day he died. He lived in a separate house—leprous, and banned from the temple of the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 26:21

Thus concludes the life of Uzziah.

This is a hilarious chapter. Uzziah does great good and is righteous in the eyes of the Lord. But then one day he breaks a stupid law and burns incense on an altar where incense is supposed to be burned. Then God gives Uzziah leprosy and Uzziah died. This is the god Christians worship. A god who brings great pain to those who are righteous. Dear Christians…spend more time reading the book you consider the holy word of God!

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 1: A Rebellious Nation

Atheism Quotes – Jon Stewart

Although Trevor Noah is doing a great job as The Daily Show host, in my opinion, I really, really miss Jon Stewart. He had a way with words and that is clear in this quote.

“Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.” –Jon Stewart

Stewart is Jewish, although I don’t know if he’s a believer or a secular Jew. Regardless, he nails religion in this quote. Religion tears people apart and uses your suffering to draw you in further and give money. It’s a scam.

2 Kings – Chapter 15: Azariah King of Judah

After a short break to delve into the book of Jonah, we move back to the book of 2 Kings where we continue learning about the rise and fall of kings, regardless if they do good or evil in the eyes of the Lord.

“He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father Amaziah had done. The high places, however, were not removed; the people continued to offer sacrifices and burn incense there. The Lord afflicted the king with leprosy until the day he died, and he lived in a separate house.” – 2 Kings 15:3-5

This is my point. The king does what is right in the eyes of the Lord, but oh wait, no he didn’t, so God gives him leprosy. A stupid god.

“He (Zechariah) did evil in the eyes of the Lord, as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 15:9

Let’s see what happens to a king that does evil in the eyes of the Lord.

“Shallum son of Jabesh conspired against Zechariah. He attacked him in front of the people, assassinated him and succeeded him as king.” – 2 Kings 15:10

Doing evil gets you killed. But so does doing good. So what is it that keeps you living? Hmmm.

“Then Menahem son of Gadi went from Tirzah up to Samaria. He attacked Shallum son of Jabesh in Samaria, assassinated him and succeeded him as king.” – 2 Kings 15:14

Another violent death.

“At that time Menahem, starting out from Tirzah, attacked Tiphsah and everyone in the city and its vicinity, because they refused to open their gates. He sacked Tiphsah and ripped open all the pregnant women.” – 2 Kings 15:16

The god Christians worship and love allowed pregnant women to be ripped open. Did these women do anything other than lack a penis? Nope!

In the thirty-ninth year of Azariah king of Judah, Menahem son of Gadi became king of Israel, and he reigned in Samaria ten years.  He did evil in the eyes of the Lord. During his entire reign he did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit. Then Pul king of Assyria invaded the land, and Menahem gave him a thousand talents[g] of silver to gain his support and strengthen his own hold on the kingdom. Menahem exacted this money from Israel. Every wealthy person had to contribute fifty shekels of silver to be given to the king of Assyria. So the king of Assyria withdrew and stayed in the land no longer.” – 2 Kings 15:17-20

Menahem does evil in the eyes of God, but I can’t see that he was really punished at all!

I’m going to stop here. The chapter continues for another 15-20 verses of more kings doing evil and getting assasinated. The point I’m making in this chapter is God is not consistent in his punishment. Some kings are assassinated, others are not. And a king who was righteous according to God was given leprosy! As I’ve said many times, this is not a god worthy of anyone’s worship.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 26: Uzziah King of Judah

Review of Jonah

I finished the last chapter of Jonah a few days ago, so let me provide a quick recap of this book before moving back to 2 Kings.

Jonah was a short book, consisting of only four chapters. The book starts with Jonah refusing to preach against evil to the people. Jonah flees, but God catches him, has him tossed from a boat and swallowed by a large fish. Jonah then survives three days and nights inside the belly of this fish. The fish then vomits up Jonah, who is still living. Jonah then goes out and preaches against evil.

Yes, it is that crazy! Swallowed by a fish and survived for three days ROFL! God is all-powerful and can easily get people to preach against evil. In fact, God could just do away with evil by a quick snap of his make believe fingers! Instead, God has a fish eat and vomit up Jonah. SMFH.

Revelation 9:1

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse looks at some of the bad science in the Bible. As readers well know, the Bible is horrible at getting the science right!

“The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth.” – Revelation 9:1

If a star had actually fallen from the sky to Earth, well, let’s just say Earth would be toast, we’d be dead, and there’d be no ridiculous Bible to read from! 🙂

Jonah – Chapter 4: Jonah’s Anger at the Lord’s Compassion

Today we have the last chapter in the book of Jonah.

“But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry.” – Jonah 4:1

Jonah is upset God is forgiving the people…or maybe he’s just mad he had to sit inside a fish for three days!

“I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.” – Jonah 4:2

Slow to anger? He put you in a fish’s belly for fuck’s sake!

“Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die,and said, ‘It would be better for me to die than to live.’” – Jonah 4:6-8

Seriously? A plant just suddenly grows over your head and is then eaten by worms. Sigh. Maybe God forced Jonah to sit in the same spot for three months and the plant grew at a normal rate.

“But the Lord said, ‘You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight.  And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh,in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?’” – Jonah 4:10-11

No God, you should not have this concern. You are the one who caused the people pain and suffering. You can’t suddenly be concerned for them when you are the one causing this harm!

Thus ends the book of Jonah. Jonah is swallowed by a fish, vomited up by the fish, and then tells a bunch of people to put on a sackcloth. You know, typical Biblical morals. 🙂

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 15: Azariah King of Judah