Atheism Quotes – Jon Stewart

I don’t think Jon Stewart is an Atheist.  If he is, that’s never been clear to me, but regardless, he definitely sees the harm in organized religion.

“Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.” –Jon Stewart

Yep…religion is all about giving hope, but the hope that it attempts to deliver is only needed as a result of the great harm religion itself has caused the people who now need hope!

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Song of Songs – Chapter 6: Untitled

This book of erotic fiction continues today with chapter 6.  Lots of kinky sex so far, so let’s see what sexual ‘wisdom’ the Bible has in store for us today.

“My beloved has gone down to his garden,” – Song of Songs 6:2

We learned in a previous chapter that ‘garden’ does not really mean a garden.  I think he’s gone for some alone time to pleasure himself.  😊

“Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.” – Song of Songs 6:5

I still don’t get the comparisons to goats.  Is this really flattery?

“Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing.  Each has its twin, not one of them is missing.” – Song of Songs 6:6

Hey baby…you’ve got all your teeth!  Nice pickup line, I guess?  I realize times are different and dental hygiene doesn’t exist as it does today, but for an all-knowing god you’d think he’d tell the authors to use a more reasonable pickup line.

“I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom.” – Song of Songs 6:11

Based on previous verses in this chapter, this is code for looking upon the naked body for appropriate beauty.  Whatever appropriate means to this god.

Take what you will from this chapter.  Pleasuring oneself, goats as flattery, full set of teeth, and comparing the naked body to pomegranates and vines.

Coming Soon:  Song of Songs – Chapter 7:  Untitled

Song of Songs – Chapter 5: Untitled

Song of Songs just might be my favorite book in the Bible.  I’m not sure it has a verse that tops Ezekiel 23:20, but I’m really enjoying Song of Songs which is rare for any book in the Bible.

“I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;” – Song of Songs 5:1

You came in your sister?  Um.

“I have drunk my wine and my milk.” – Song of Songs 5:1

To each their own.  I’m not going to kink shame.

“My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” – Song of Songs 5:2

Yeah, ‘dew’ means something else in this verse.

“I have taken off my robe—must I put it on again?” – Song of Songs 5:3

You’re still wearing a robe?  After all that has happened in this book thus far?

“My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;” – Song of Songs 5:4

Again…no kink shaming.  Some people like fisting.

“I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh,” – Song of Songs 5:5

Pure erotic fiction at this point.

“I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone.” – Song of Songs 5:6

Dude.  That is not how you take care of a woman!

“My beloved is radiant and ruddy,” – Song of Songs 5:10

Ruddy means to have a red color.  Your beloved has a sunburn.  Stay in the shade!

LOL!  What an interesting chapter!  Erotic fiction at its biblical finest.  LOL!

Coming Soon:  Song of Songs – Chapter 6:  Untitled

Ezekiel 1:4-5

Aliens in the Bible?  There are plenty of instances of zombies in the Bible so aliens would not be surprising.  Thus for Tuesday’s Crazy Bible verse I’ve pulled one indicating the existence of aliens coming to earth.

“I looked, and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north—an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light. The center of the fire looked like glowing metal, and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures.” – Ezekiel 1:4-5

Four living creatures in the sky?  I don’t know, but maybe, just maybe Ezekiel saw BIRDS!?!?!  Just like the crazies who say they are abducted by aliens today, Ezekiel is crazy in this verse when he claims alien creatures have visited.

Song of Songs – Chapter 4: Untitled

In our last look in the Song of Songs we saw the two lovers going to the woman’s parent’s bedroom.  Um….okay.  Whatever excites you I guess.  Let’s see what wonderful things we learn in this chapter.

“Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.” – Song of Songs 4:1

I’m not sure that comparing someone’s hair to a flock of goats is a good pickup line.

“Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing.” – Song of Songs 4:2

You have sheep teeth, but wanna have sex?  I doubt that’s going to work!

“Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone, on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.” – Song of Songs 4:4

Okay, this is just a weird description of someone’s neck.

“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;” – Song of Songs 4:9

Wait, you married your sister?  Um.

“Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue.” – Song of Songs 4:11

Is it really milk under the tongue or is it something else taking on the color of milk?  Hmmm.

“Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere.” – Song of Songs 4:16

Yeah, she’s not talking about an actual garden.  LOL!

Another interesting chapter in the Song of Songs.  Some really, really weird pickup lines that I can’t imagine having any chance of working.  But since the man marries his sister in this chapter, maybe.

Coming Soon:  Song of Songs – Chapter 5:  Untitled

Atheism Quotes – Christopher Hitchens

Today’s post is the 900th post on this blog and to honor this number I have a quote to share from the late, great Christopher Hitchens.

“In this summary of mutual interest and solidarity, there is no requirement for any enforcing or supernatural authority. And why should there be? Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it.” – Christopher Hitchens

Exactly.  Humans are not decent due to a god.  They are decent because, unlike the god of the Bible, they know the difference between right and wrong.

Song of Songs – Chapter 3: Untitled

Our journey through the lands of biblical sex continues today with chapter 3 in Song of Songs.

“All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.” – Song of Songs 3:1

Given you are in bed and this is a book about sex, maybe, just maybe, the one you love is, um, behind you?  LOL!

“I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother’s house, to the room of the one who conceived me.” – Song of Songs 3:4

You found your lover and the first place you take him is your mom and dad’s bedroom?  Um.

Next Solomon comes rolling into town and all the women of the town are called out to look at him.  Hmmm…I guess we’ll just have to wait for the next chapter to see what happens next.

Coming Soon:  Song of Songs – Chapter 4:  Untitled