1 Corinthians 7:18

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse is quite crazy and you’ll see why very quickly.

“Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised.” – 1 Corinthians 7:18

How does one become uncircumcised? Are there bottles of foreskins lying around in Biblical times and healers sewing these random foreskins back on circumcised dicks? I mean, that would be a pretty interesting story but unfortunately that story isn’t in the Bible. So why talk about becoming uncircumcised?

1 Corinthians 6:13

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Today we learn that your body is not meant for pleasure. It’s meant for the Lord.

“You say, ‘Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.’ The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:13

The next time your partner goes down on you, tell them to stop immediately. That type of action does not lead to a baby. Therefore it is immoral. Only God can go down on you for your body is meant only for the Lord. 🙂 Mood killer, eh?

1 Corinthians 16:22

Today is once again Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and we learn that you’d better love the Lord or ELSE!!!

“If anyone does not love the Lord, let that person be cursed! Come, Lord!” 1 Corinthians 16:22Unc

The Lord may murder children but you’d better fucking love him or he’ll kill you too.

1 Corinthians 11:5-6

Last week’s crazy Bible verse dealt with God’s fetish of semen.  This week focuses on misogyny.

“But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.” – 1 Corinthians 11:5-6

So there you have it.  Women must keep their heads covered or else shave their heads.  Men on the other hand, do not need to cover their heads, even if they have hair.  Thus it is not an issue of having hair exposed.  It’s an issue of what you have between your legs.

In case there’s any confusion this is a New Testament verse, so the weak argument that the crazy laws are in the Old Testament doesn’t apply here.  On top of that, take a look at the first verse in this chapter.

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1

The person here is Paul.  It says to follow Paul because Paul follows Christ.  The Bible is telling us that Christ approves of this message.  Christ is a misogynist.  The crazy does not just apply to the Old Testament God.  It applies to the New Testament God (Jesus) as well.

1 Corinthians 14:33-34

Today’s crazy Bible verse comes from the New Testament and is one all women (and all men who care about women’s rights) should read, especially Christian women.

“As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches.  They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.” – 1 Corinthians 14:33-34

It doesn’t get any clearer than that.  The Bible clearly states that women are not allowed to speak in church.  Too often the Christian apologist will argue against crazy Bible verses, stating that was Old Testament nonsense.  This ‘argument’ itself is nonsense as Christians believe Jesus is God and Jesus clearly states in Matthew 5:17 that he isn’t here to abolish the old law, he’s here to FULFILL the old Law

In this case, the common apologist’s argument can’t be used as the verse comes directly from the New Testament.  The Bible is NOT friendly to women.  It’s too bad more Christians don’t READ the Bible they worship, for they’d quickly see the utter nonsense it contains.  Read your Bible people!