Today we continue in the book of 1 Kings with chapter 20.
“He sent messengers into the city to Ahab king of Israel, saying, ‘This is what Ben-Hadad says: ‘Your silver and gold are mine, and the best of your wives and children are mine.’’ The king of Israel answered, ‘Just as you say, my lord the king. I and all I have are yours.’” – 1 Kings 20:2-4
Just like that the King of Israel offers to give up the wives and children in an attempt to save his own ass. Pitiful.
“The king of Israel summoned all the elders of the land and said to them, ‘See how this man is looking for trouble! When he sent for my wives and my children, my silver and my gold, I did not refuse him.’” – 1 Kings 20:7
The other king has told the king of Israel that he will plunder all his valuables. The king of Israel, who was fine with the taking of the wives and children, refuses the demand of plundering the valuables. Apparently this king of Israel doesn’t consider his wives and children valuable! The definition of biblical family values at their finest.
“Meanwhile, the officials of the king of Aram advised him, ‘Their gods are gods of the hills. That is why they were too strong for us. But if we fight them on the plains, surely we will be stronger than they.’” – 1 Kings 20:23
For fuck’s sake. Fight them on the plains because their gods are gods of the hills? Are people really this stupid?
“The man of God came up and told the king of Israel, ‘This is what the Lord says: ‘Because the Arameans think the Lord is a god of the hills and not a god of the valleys, I will deliver this vast army into your hands, and you will know that I am the Lord.’’” – 1 Kings 20:28
Notice how God is protecting the Israelites, not because he loves or cares about them, but because the other army thinks this god likes hills and not valleys. Sheesh.
“By the word of the Lord one of the company of the prophets said to his companion, ‘Strike me with your weapon,’ but he refused. So the prophet said, ‘Because you have not obeyed the Lord, as soon as you leave me a lion will kill you.’ And after the man went away, a lion found him and killed him.” – 1 Kings 20:35-36
Sigh. This is just stupid. If this was you, would you try to strike down the man? No, because if you did and nothing stopped you, you’d kill the man and be guilty of murder! But for expressing common sense, this guy is killed by a lion.
“The prophet found another man and said, ‘Strike me, please.’ So the man struck him and wounded him.” – 1 Kings 20:37
Sure. I’m sure this really happened. Sigh.
“Then the prophet quickly removed the headband from his eyes, and the king of Israel recognized him as one of the prophets. He said to the king, ‘This is what the Lord says: ‘You have set free a man I had determined should die] Therefore it is your life for his life, your people for his people.’’ Sullen and angry, the king of Israel went to his palace in Samaria.” – 1 Kings 20:41-43
What the fuck? What is the point of this silly trickery?
Man, this chapter is filled with nonsense. Unbelievable nonsense, but nonsense that shows how fucked up biblical morals are.
Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 21: Naboth’s Vineyard