2 Chronicles 9: The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon

2 Chronicles 9 is a near copy of 1 Kings 10, with the Queen of Sheba paying Solomon a visit.

“When the queen of Sheba heard of Solomon’s fame, she came to Jerusalem to test him with hard questions.” – 2 Chronicles 9:1

Yes, I’m sure these were hard questions. Probably on par with the ‘hard’ questions Fox News asks Republican politicians.

“Solomon answered all her questions; nothing was too hard for him to explain to her.” – 2 Chronicles 9:3

And I guess we’ll never know how hard these questions were.

“King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth.” – 2 Chronicles 9:22

I’ve skipped several verses but all literally describe how rich Solomon is. That’s it. Solomon is rich, rich, rich, rich.

“Solomon reigned in Jerusalem over all Israel forty years.” – 2 Chronicles 9:30

Forty years in which God approves of the rich getting richer and the men having multiple wives. A book of morals? BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 12: Israel Rebels Against Rehoboam


2 Chronicles – Chapter 8: Solomon’s Other Activities

This chapter is a repeat of 1 Kings 9, so given how horrible that chapter was (says slavery is okay), 2 Chronicles 8 will not be any better.

“Solomon conscripted the descendants of all these people remaining in the land—whom the Israelites had not destroyed—to serve as slave labor, as it is to this day.” – 2 Chronicles 8:8

Yep, slavery is all okay in the eyes of Solomon, God, and Christians who believe the Bible is moral.

There’s no need to point out additional verses as they were already covered in 1 Kings 9. The pro-slavery verses are telling. Christians, read your Bible please.

Coming Soon: Ecclesiastes – Chapter 1: Everything Is Meaningless

2 Chronicles – Chapter 7: The Dedication of the Temple

The story of Solomon building a temple for God continues in 2 Chronicles 7.

When Solomon finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple.” – 2 Chronicles 7:1

Sure it did. More likely a priest snuck in a torch and lit the sacrifice pile on fire when no one was looking.

“The priests could not enter the temple of the Lord because the glory of the Lord filled it.”  2 Chronicles 7:2

LOL! Of course this all happens when no one was in the temple to verify!

And King Solomon offered a sacrifice of twenty-two thousand head of cattle and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep and goats.” – 2 Chronicles 7:5

All while the people go hungry.

“As for you, if you walk before me faithfully as David your father did, and do all I command…” – 2 Chronicles 7:17

This is God speaking to Solomon, basically saying you’d better murdered those babies when I tell you to!

This is followed by a few more verses on all the things God will do if the Israelites don’t listen. Christians describe God as this all-loving creator, but the Bible describes a different god. It describes an angry, jealous god, that sets up rules with the full intent to make it impossible for the Israelites to follow, thus creating a justification to create more blood shed.

Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 136: Untitled

2 Chronicles – Chapter 6: Solomon’s Prayer of Dedication

When discussing 2 Chronicles 5, I stated it was nice to see the very long 1 Kings 8 chapter shortened dramatically. Remember that 2 Chronicles is basically a word for word copy of 1 Kings. Unfortunately I spoke too soon. 2 Chronicles 5 was very short compared to 1 Kings 8, but only because 1 Kings 8 is divided into multiple chapters in 2 Chronicles. Thus we continue 1 Kings 8 in 2 Chronicles 6.

“Then Solomon said, ‘The Lord has said that he would dwell in a dark cloud;  I have built a magnificent temple for you, a place for you to dwell forever.’” – 2 Chronicles 6:1-2

God loves his dark clouds. It’s a great hiding place so he doesn’t have to show himself to the people.

“Now he had made a bronze platform, five cubits long, five cubits wide and three cubits high, and had placed it in the center of the outer court.” – 2 Chronicles 6:13

Making sure everyone knows the dimensions is far more important than doing away with rape and slavery.

“Judge between your servants, condemning the guilty and bringing down on their heads what they have done, and vindicating the innocent by treating them in accordance with their innocence.” – 2 Chronicles 6:23

Let us not forget the god of the Bible often punishes the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of the accused. Justice served.

“When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry…” – 2 Chronicles 6:36

A perfect god can be angry? Interesting.

That concludes this chapter. Solomon spends time praying to God, the full time acknowledging this god will kill some of the Israelites. This is supposedly a perfect god, but a perfect god who has imperfections such as anger. Very telling. It’s almost, and bear with me here, it’s almost as if this god was a man-made god!Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 7: The Dedication of the Temple

2 Chronicles – Chapter 5: The Ark Brought to the Temple

The authors of the Bible decided bringing the ark to the temple was so important, they repeated the story in a second chapter. Sigh.

“Then the temple of the Lord was filled with the cloud, and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple of God.” – 2 Chronicles 5:13-14

Again, someone burned their macaroni and cheese. If God is truly all-powerful, he should show himself. Until then, he’s a man-made god that doesn’t exist.

Nothing else to report in this chapter. Thankfully the authors saved us some boredom and reduced the chapter from 60+ verses to just 14 verses in the repeat.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 6: Solomon’s Prayer of Dedication

2 Chronicles – Chapter 4: The Temple’s Furnishings

Here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for in the Bible. The moment that gives us the mother of all morals. It’s finally here. The temple’s furnishings. LOL! This is why the Bible is such a joke. Far more time is spent in the Bible laying out how temples were furnished than telling people to stop enslaving each other, raping each other, etc.

It held three thousand baths.” – 2 Chronicles 4:5

I don’t know, this might not be enough baths.

I won’t bore you with further verses detailing how many wash basins and lamps were in the temple. What a worthless chapter in a worthless book.

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 8: The Ark Brought to the Temple

2 Chronicles – Chapter 3: Solomon Builds the Temple

Given the Bible repeats the chapter on the preparations for building the temple, it only makes sense it repeats the chapter on the actual building of the temple.

“Then Solomon began to build the temple…” – 2 Chronicles 3:1

No, the slaves built the temple.

“The gold nails weighed fifty shekels.” – 2 Chronicles 3:9

For fuck’s sake. People are starving and gold nails are used (and approved by God) to build the temple?!?!

At first glance this may seem to be a meaningless, boring chapter, but it’s a chapter that further condones slavery and uses excessive amounts of gold when there are starving people in the land. Then again, it fits right in with the other Biblical morals we’ve discovered.

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 7: Solomon Builds His Palace