2 Kings – Chapter 23: Josiah Renews the Covenant

In the last chapter in 2 Kings we learned that God punishes people before he tells them the laws he wants them to follow. What will we learn today? Let’s find out.

“The king stood by the pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the Lord—to follow the Lord and keep his commands, statutes and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, thus confirming the words of the covenant written in this book. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant.” – 2 Kings 23:3

The king and his people agree to follow God’s laws.

“Although the priests of the high places did not serve at the altar of the Lord in Jerusalem, they ate unleavened bread with their fellow priests.” – 2 Kings 23:9

They ate the wrong bread, of course they should be punished. LOL

“Then Josiah looked around, and when he saw the tombs that were there on the hillside, he had the bones removed from them and burned on the altar to defile it, in accordance with the word of the Lord proclaimed by the man of God who foretold these things.” – 2 Kings 23:16

God told Josiah to burn bones? Um…sure. Read the verse carefully. God didn’t actually say this. It is God supposedly speaking through a prophet who says this. Sounds like the prophet was just trying to see what crazy things he could make the king do!

“Josiah slaughtered all the priests of those high places on the altars and burned human bones on them.” – 2 Kings 23:20

Remember that Josiah did right in the eyes of God. God approves of the slaughter of the priests.

“Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses. Nevertheless, the Lord did not turn away from the heat of his fierce anger, which burned against Judah because of all that Manasseh had done to arouse his anger.” – 2 Kings 23:25-26

Bahahahaha! Josiah does everything God has asked but God turns around and says, nope, I’m still fucking pissed and you shall pay!!!

“While Josiah was king, Pharaoh Necho king of Egypt went up to the Euphrates River to help the king of Assyria. King Josiah marched out to meet him in battle, but Necho faced him and killed him at Megiddo.” – 2 Kings 23:29

The king who does everything God wants is killed in battle. LOL! The god of the Bible is the greatest asshole in storytelling history.

“He (Jehoahaz) did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:32

Good, bad, doesn’t matter. God still unjustly punishes the people.

“Jehoiakim was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eleven years. His mother’s name was Zebidah daughter of Pedaiah; she was from Rumah. And he did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:37

Another bad king, but God is worse.

So what did we learn? We learned that God doesn’t give a shit if you do everything he asks. God will still punish you and kill you before your time. It’s his way. He’s an asshole.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 34: Josiah’s Reforms

2 Kings – Chapter 22: The Book of the Law Found

Today we return to the book of 2 Kings where the book of law has been found. Finally we will know the truth of which laws to follow. Um…sure.

“He (Josiah) did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left.” – 2 Kings 22:2

Josiah did right in the eyes of God. Will he be rewarded or punished as others who have also done right?

“But they need not account for the money entrusted to them, because they are honest in their dealings.” – 2 Kings 22:7

Too often Christians believe the same thing of other Christians and all of a sudden you learn money is stolen from the church coffers!

“When the king heard the words of the Book of the Law, he tore his robes.” – 2 Kings 22:11

An interesting reaction to reading a book.

“Great is the Lord’s anger that burns against us because those who have gone before us have not obeyed the words of this book; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written there concerning us.” – 2 Kings 22:13

Ah, the asshole God who would punish those for going against a law they did not know because they just found the fucking law book. SMH.

“This is what the Lord says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people, according to everything written in the book the king of Judah has read.” – 2 Kings 22:17

Yep, an asshole God.

“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard:Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people—that they would become a curse and be laid waste—and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I also have heard you, declares the Lord. Therefore I will gather you to your ancestors, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.” – 2 Kings 22:18-20

How kind of God! He will lay waste to your land and kill you, but you’ll be buried in peace. LOL!

This chapter gives us a look at how God operates. He doesn’t care if you’ve ever seen the laws. You may have no idea what the laws are, but God is going to punish you if you break them. But remember, he loves you.

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 23: Josiah Renews the Covenant

2 Kings – Chapter 21: Manasseh King of Judah

Today we see a new king, Manasseh, who was the son of Hezekiah, the king who died in the last chapter of 2 Kings.

“He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, following the detestable practices of the nations the Lord had driven out before the Israelites.” – 2 Kings 21:2

This king did evil, but does it really matter? Hezekiah did good in the eyes of the Lord and God had some of Hezekiah’s family taken away.

“He sacrificed his own son in the fire, practiced divination, sought omens, and consulted mediums and spiritists.” – 2 Kings 21:6

Don’t get me wrong, this king is an asshole. My problem is God doesn’t treat the good kings any differently than the bad kings!

“Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I am going to bring such disaster on Jerusalem and Judah that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle.” – 2 Kings 21:12

God is going to punish ALL of the people for the evil deeds of one. Sigh. Another example that God is unjust.

“Amon was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem two years. His mother’s name was Meshullemeth daughter of Haruz; she was from Jotbah. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, as his father Manasseh had done.” – 2 Kings 21:19-20

I didn’t mention it above, but Manasseh reigned for 55 years. This was a king who did so much evil that God was disgusted, but God does nothing. He lets Manasseh live for 55 years after taking over. Next up is Amon, another evil king. He only ruled two years. But where is God? If God was caring, he’d step in and help, not allow two evil kings to rule for 57 consecutive years.

That concludes this chapter. God loves you and says he is bringing peace, but allows evil to reign for 57 years. A loving god? Hardly.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 32: Sennacherib Threatens Jerusalem

2 Kings – Chapter 20: Hezekiah’s Illness

Today we move back to the book of 2 Kings and learn about Hezekiah’s illness.

“In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, ‘This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.’” – 2 Kings 20:1

LOL! God is blunt in this verse. Dude, you’re going to die. 🙂

“Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you’” – 2 Kings 20:5

This is a very harmful verse. It leads people to believe that praying to God will help you. God may have said he will heal Hezekiah, but there is no evidence in the real world that prayer does anything. There are multiple studies showing no effect. On top of this, some people resort to prayer instead of seeking medical attention. Very, very harmful.

“Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, ‘Hear the word of the Lord: The time will surely come when everything in your palace, and all that your predecessors have stored up until this day, will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood who will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.” – 2 Kings 16-18

This is a disgusting god. God heals Hezekiah but then has everything stolen, including Hezekiah’s family. Fuck you God.

And that is the end of Hezekiah. He dies and his son takes over. Peace is still missing from the land, despite God’s promise that he will bring peace.

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 21: Manasseh King of Judah

2 Kings – Chapter 19: Jerusalem’s Deliverance Foretold

We continue in the book of 2 Kings today.

“When King Hezekiah heard this, he tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and went into the temple of the Lord.” – 2 Kings 19:1

I’ll never understand the tearing of clothes in the Bible. I’ve gotten mad before, but ripping my clothes off has never crossed my mind.

“And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: ‘Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.’” – 2 Kings 19:15-16

Makes sense. I know I pray to God when I’ve ripped my clothes. Have never ripped them intentionally but there are times where my shirt might catch on something and rip or I may spill something and I shout out “God dammit!!!” LOL!

“Because you rage against me and because your insolence has reached my ears, I will put my hook in your nose and my bit in your mouth, and I will make you return by the way you came.’” – 2 Kings 19:28

Don’t ever cross God because he will FUCK YOU UP!

“This will be the sign for you, Hezekiah: ‘This year you will eat what grows by itself,   and the second year what springs from that. But in the third year sow and reap,  plant vineyards and eat their fruit.” – 2 Kings 19:29

Plant your crops by my commands and I will save you from this army? Wow.

“That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand in the Assyrian camp. When the people got up the next morning—there were all the dead bodies!” – 2 Kings 19:35

God kills more people.

“One day, while he was worshiping in the temple of his god Nisrok, his sons Adrammelek and Sharezer killed him with the sword, and they escaped to the land of Ararat. And Esarhaddon his son succeeded him as king.” – 2 Kings 19:37

This refers to the King of Assyria. God has the ability to bring peace, but he refuses, preferring war, death, and destruction.

Is it possible for the lands to achieve peace? Yes, toss God out for he is the bringing of war.

Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 46: For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.

2 Kings – Chapter 18:9-37: Hezekiah King of Judah

Today we take a break from Isaiah and move back to 2 Kings where Hezekiah is now king.

“In King Hezekiah’s fourth year, which was the seventh year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Shalmaneser king of Assyria marched against Samaria and laid siege to it. At the end of three years the Assyrians took it. So Samaria was captured in Hezekiah’s sixth year, which was the ninth year of Hoshea king of Israel. The king of Assyria deported Israel to Assyria and settled them in Halah, in Gozan on the Habor River and in towns of the Medes. This happened because they had not obeyed the Lord their God, but had violated his covenant—all that Moses the servant of the Lord commanded. They neither listened to the commands nor carried them out.” – 2 Kings 18:9-12

War is taking place based on who is and isn’t obeying God.

“Furthermore, have I come to attack and destroy this place without word from the Lord? The Lord himself told me to march against this country and destroy it.” – 2 Kings 18:25

God is not peace.

“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?’” – 2 Kings 18:27

This isn’t my favorite verse in the Bible but it ranks in the top ten! You will have to eat your own shit and drink your own piss. LOL!

“Do not listen to Hezekiah, for he is misleading you when he says, ‘The Lord will deliver us.’” – 2 Kings 18:32

This is a pissing match to see who loves God the most.

That concludes this chapter. There is a battle on who loves God the most and who God will support, along with some trash talk about eating your own shit and drinking your own piss. ROFL!

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 19: Jerusalem’s Deliverance Foretold

2 Kings – Chapter 18 Verses 1 – 8: Hezekiah King of Judah

After a long stretch through Isaiah, of which we are not yet finished, we move back to the book of 2 Kings and take a look at the first few verses in the eighth chapter.

“In the third year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Hezekiah son of Ahaz king of Judah began to reign.” – 2 Kings 8:1

We are back to learning about all of the kings.

“He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father David had done.” – 2 Kings 8:3

We won’t find out in these first eight verses, so we’ll have to wait and see if doing right in the eyes of the Lord was helpful to Hezekiah.

“Hezekiah trusted in the  in Lord, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him. He held fast to the Lord and did not stop following him; he kept the commands the Lord had given Moses.  And the Lord was with him; he was successful in whatever he undertook. He rebelled against the king of Assyria and did not serve him.  From watchtower to fortified city, he defeated the Philistines, as far as Gaza and its territory.” – 2 Kings 8:5-8

Hezekiah is a true believer and follower in God. Then again, so was Job and we all know what happened to him.

We’ll have to catch the end of this story later. The chronological order guide I’m following jumps around a bit at this point before returning to 2 Kings 8 to finish the chapter.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 29: Hezekiah Purifies the Temple