Amos 2:16

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse brings some nakedness.

“‘Even the bravest warriors will flee naked on that day,’declares the Lord.” – Amos 2:16

I don’t know a single person in the world, that when faced with great fear, takes the time to strip naked before running away. Yet we see this multiple times in the Bible when someone rips away their clothes when afraid. A person filled with fear doesn’t strip naked. They either freeze in fear or run away in fear.

Recap of Amos

Amos was supposed to be a book about the negatives of income inequality spread throughout the land at the time. It was supposed to be a book that focused on social issues. It wasn’t. Sure, there was some mention of the rich taxing the poor and the rich doing bad things to the poor. God sees this and calls the land sinful. Does he punish the rich? Maybe…but only through a mass punishment of all people, meaning the poor were harmed just as much, if not more, than the rich.

The book ends with God giving the land back to the Israelites, still controlled by the rich. Did God do anything to help the poor? No, he did not. He said a few things about the evil ways of the people, but never once actually helped the poor! Who has God helped in the Bible?

Amos – Chapter 9: Israel to Be Destroyed

Today is the last chapter in the book of Amos. Given the title, I highly doubt God is stopping his temper tantrum.

“I saw the Lord standing by the altar, and he said: ‘Strike the tops of the pillars so that the thresholds shake. Bring them down on the heads of all the people; those who are left I will kill with the sword.’” – Amos 9:1

Nope, no intention of calming down. LOL!

“Though they hide from my eyes at the bottom of the sea, there I will command the serpent to bite them.” – Amos 9:3

Who the fuck is hiding at the bottom of the sea?

“‘I will plant Israel in their own land, never again to be uprooted from the land I have given them,’ says the Lord your God.” – Amos 9:15

So God destroys the land, then decides to rebuild it and give it back to the Israelites. Um…okay.

This ends Amos and as you can see, peace reigned throughout the Middle East for all of time. ROFL! What a joke of a book.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles 27: Jotham King of Judah

Amos – Chapter 8: A Basket of Ripe Fruit

Only two more chapters in Amos to go. Maybe God will end his temper tantrum before the end? BAHAHAHA! Don’t hold your breath!

“This is what the Sovereign Lord showed me: a basket of ripe fruit.What do you see, Amos?’ he asked. ‘A basket of ripe fruit,’ I answered. Then the Lord said to me, ‘The time is ripe for my people Israel; I will spare them no longer.’” – Amos 8:1-2

This might mean something if God had not been punishing the Israelites from the beginning of the Bible.

“Hear this, you who trample the needy and do away with the poor of the land,” – Amos 8:4

Again, this would mean something if God actually helped the poor in the Bible.

“‘In that day,’ declares the Sovereign Lord, ‘I will make the sun go down at noon and darken the earth in broad daylight.’” – Amos 8:9

Um…has never happened and will never happen. LOL!

God is all upset about how the rich are socking it to the poor, but then does nothing to help the poor and the punishments God puts in place affect EVERYONE, including the poor! One of two things are going on here. Either God hates the poor or God is just plain fucking stupid.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 9: Israel to Be Destroyed

Amos – Chapter 7: Locusts, Fire and a Plumb Line

We continue in the book of Amos today. Don’t worry though, God’s pissiness is still there. 🙂

“This is what the Sovereign Lord showed me: He was preparing swarms of locusts after the king’s share had been harvested and just as the late crops were coming up.” – Amos 7:1

Yep, God’s still pissy.

“Then the Lord said, ‘Look, I am setting a plumb line among my people Israel; I will spare them no longer.’” – Amos 7:8

As if God has ever spared the Israelites.

“Amos answered Amaziah, ‘I was neither a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but I was a shepherd, and I also took care of sycamore-fig trees.  But the Lord took me from tending the flock and said to me, ‘Go, prophesy to my people Israel.’  Now then, hear the word of the Lord.’” – Amos 7:14-16

The Amos’s of today’s world are looked at as needed mental health help. But put an Amos in the Bible and it is the divine word of God.

“‘Therefore this is what the Lord says: ‘Your wife will become a prostitute in the city, and your sons and daughters will fall by the sword. Your land will be measured and divided up,  and you yourself will die in a pagan country. And Israel will surely go into exile, away from their native land.’: – Amos 7:17

Yep, God is still pissy.

Amos 7 didn’t teach us anything we didn’t already know. God is a pissy jackass throwing a temper tantrum. Who suffers? Far too many innocent people.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 8: A Basket of Ripe Fruit

Amos – Chapter 6: Woe to the Complacent

I’d like to tell you God’s mood has changed, but it hasn’t. He’s still pissy. 🙂

“If ten people are left in one house, they too will die.” – Amos 6:9

God’s eyes are still filled with bloodlust.

“For the Lord God Almighty declares, ‘I will stir up a nation against you, Israel, that will oppress you all the way  from Lebo Hamath to the valley of the Arabah.’” – Amos 6:14

This is God’s MO. He stirs people up by causing them great suffering so they become so weak they have no choice but to believe in a being they can’t see or observe.

Amos 6 was a short chapter, but still filled with a very, very angry god.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 7: Locusts, Fire and a Plumb Line

Amos – Chapter 5: A Lament and Call to Repentance

Four chapters into Amos and God is still pissed off. Sigh. This dude needs some anger management therapy!

“Seek the Lord and live, or he will sweep through the tribes of Joseph like a fire; it will devour them,  and Bethel will have no one to quench it.” – Amos 5:6

Believe in me or you will die. Not exactly the greatest selling point in the world. Believe in me or I will kill you but don’t forget I love you!

“You levy a straw tax on the poor and impose a tax on their grain. Therefore, though you have built stone mansions, you will not live in them; though you have planted lush vineyards,  you will not drink their wine. For I know how many are your offenses  and how great your sins.” – Amos 5:11-12

The first statement is good. We shouldn’t tax the poor. We shouldn’t continue to build a system of income inequality in this world. But what has God done? Other than kill a few people, he’s done nothing to fix this and actually help the poor. God is just as guilty as the rich in the Bible.

“Seek good, not evil, that you may live.” – Amos 5:14

Okay, but is not killing, evil? If so, the god of the Bible is evil.

“Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them.” – Amos 5:22

Um…God is the one who demanded these offerings and demanded them in a very specific format.

God truly sucks as a leader. This is not how you convince people. This is not how you get people to believe and follow you. Sheesh.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 6: Woe to the Complacent

Amos – Chapter 4: Israel Has Not Returned to God

We now enter the fourth chapter in Amos and God is still pissy and destroying people left and right. Given the title of today’s chapter, I doubt that changes any time soon.

“The Sovereign Lord has sworn by his holiness: ‘The time will surely come when you will be taken away with hooks, the last of you with fishhooks.’” – Amos 4:2

Damn, God! Taken away by hooks…fishhooks! God is really mad now!

“I gave you empty stomachs in every city and lack of bread in every town, yet you have not returned to me, declares the Lord.” – Amos 4:6

How could you possibly not return to God after he starved you? He expressed his love to you by taking your food away! How could he possibly love you more?

“I also withheld rain from you…” – Amos 4:7

And that’s how he loves you more. Not only did he take food from you, he took your water too! Now that’s true love!

“I sent plagues among you as I did to Egypt.” – Amos 4:10

Just when you think God can’t possibly love you more, he sends you plagues. LOL!

God continues to be mad. But remember he loves you. That’s why he took your food, water, and sent you deadly plagues. 🙂

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 5: A Lament and Call to Repentance

Amos – Chapter 3: Witnesses Summoned Against Israel

Thus far the start of Amos has just shown us a very angry, vengeful god raining down fire left and right. Seriously, that is it. Maybe God has tired himself out in the third chapter?

“Hear this word, people of Israel, the word the Lord has spoken against you—against the whole family I brought up out of Egypt” – Amos 3:1

Yeah, God is still pissed. LOL!

“You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth; therefore I will punish you  for all your sins.” – Amos 3:2

Because God has chosen you, he will punish you. Yeah, makes sense. Not.

“When disaster comes to a city, has not the Lord caused it?” – Amos 3:6

Is this your argument to convince people to follow God? If so, it’s a shit poor argument.

“Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets.” – Amos 3:7

Um…no. The god of the Bible rarely reveals anything and when he does it is to a single person who then controls the people.

“As a shepherd rescues from the lion’s mouth only two leg bones or a piece of an ear, so will the Israelites living in Samaria be rescued, with only the head of a bed and a piece of fabric from a couch.” – Amos 3:12

LOL! An interesting way of saying you are fucked and God doesn’t give a shit. 🙂

Yep, God is still in a pissy mood.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 4: Israel Has Not Returned to God

Amos – Chapter 2: Judgment on Israel

Amos started with a bang, and by a bang, I mean a literal bang with God raining fire and destruction upon many groups of people. Give the title of this chapter, I highly doubt that destruction stops.

“I will send fire on Moab  that will consume the fortresses of Kerioth. Moab will go down in great tumult amid war cries and the blast of the trumpet.” – Amos 2:2

Yep, God is still killing.

“Father and son use the same girl and so profane my holy name.” – Amos 2:7

Admittedly this is a bit weird, but if all three parties consent, who is to say this is a sin? Certainly not the god of the Bible who kills and kills and kills.

“I brought you up out of Egypt  and led you forty years in the wilderness  to give you the land of the Amorites.” – Amos 2:10

The Egyptians treated the Israelites badly only after God hardened the Egyptians’ hearts.

“‘Even the bravest warriors will flee naked on that day,’” declares the Lord.” – Amos 2:16

God is raining down fire while the people flee naked. But remember, God loves you.

Did we learn anything new? Nope! God is still killing and killing and killing.

Coming Soon: Amos – Chapter 3: Witnesses Summoned Against Israel