Malachi 1:3

Sometimes God is just ridiculous, thus the need for a Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday post each week.

“but Esau I have hated, and I have turned his hill country into a wasteland and left his inheritance to the desert jackals.” – Malachi 1:3

Well there goes Esau’s inheritance! My favorite part about this verse is that in the King James Version of the Bible, desert jackals is replaced with ‘dragons of the wilderness’. Dragons in the Bible! 🙂

Isaiah – Chapter 42: The Servant of the Lord

I’m going to be blunt today. Time for more bullshit from Isaiah.

“Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations.” – Isaiah 42:1

This is one unlucky dude (Jesus) to have this forced on him.

“I am the Lord; that is my name!” – Isaiah 42:8

Um…thanks for the reminder…I guess. 🙂

“I will lay waste the mountains and hills and dry up all their vegetation; I will turn rivers into islands  and dry up the pools.” – Isaiah 42:15

This is why in the previous chapter God shouldn’t get credit for letting the waters run again. He’s the one who turned off the water in the first place. 

“So he poured out on them his burning anger, the violence of war.” – Isaiah 42:25

Don’t forget. God loves you! 🙂

God’s an asshole. Nothing else to really say here.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 43: Israel’s Only Savior

Isaiah – Chapter 41: The Helper of Israel

In the last chapter of Isaiah we were told God is good, caring, and loving, and will care for you forever. Except all those times the Bible told us he won’t. SMH. Let’s see what this chapter has in store for us. 

“He turns them to dust with his sword,  to windblown chaff with his bow.” – Isaiah 41:2

The ‘He’ in this sentence is God. So much for the caring and loving god of the last chapter.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” – Isaiah 41:10

Oh, so now God doesn’t want us to fear? Goes against the same God who demands your fear.

“I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys.” – Isaiah 41:18

Does it count when the rivers stopped flowing due to God’s actions? Remember that whole hardening of the hearts thing?

“See, they are all false! Their deeds amount to nothing; their images are but wind and confusion.” – Isaiah 41:29

I agree that all of these idols are false. I just take it one step further and declare that the idol Christians call God is also false.

God keeps saying he is good, but his actions suggest otherwise.

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 42: The Servant of the Lord

Psalm 109:9

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and nothing is more biblical than punishing kids for the deeds of their parents.

“May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.” – Psalm 109:9

Suck it up kid. God punished your dad, so now you don’t have a dad and that’s how God intended it. Also, your own kids, grandkids, great grandkids, great-great grandkids, etc. are fucked too. But God loves you!

Psalm – Chapter 76: For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of Asaph. A song.

Today we take a quick break from Isaiah and move to Psalms for a chapter.

“God is renowned in Judah; in Israel his name is great.” – Psalm – 76:1

Sure he is. God, the greatest murderer in the history of Biblical times is renowned. 

“It is you alone who are to be feared. Who can stand before you when you are angry?” – Psalm 76:7

For the millionth time, evoking fear is never a sign of love.

“Surely your wrath against mankind brings you praise, and the survivors of your wrath are restrained.” – Psalm 76:10

Yes, I’m sure the survivors of God’s wrath are praising him. They’re cowering in fear from this child abuser.

To conclude, God’s fear is not a sign of his greatness. It’s a sign he’s a child abuser, domestic abuser, and a horrible being, including all real and fake beings ever conceived in all of time. 

Coming Soon: Isaiah – Chapter 40: Comfort for God’s People