Romans 14:2

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! And that means it is some time from some crazy!

“One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.” – Romans 14:2

That’s right. Vegetarians and vegans are pussies! God and Jesus demand you be tough and rough and eat that fucking meat you goddamn pansy! LOL! The Bible is a worthless pile of burning bullshit.

Hebrews 12:7

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is about beating your kids!

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?” – Hebrews 12:7

Discipline should be a hardship? Fathers are supposed to beat their children? Only in the Bible, that book of morals Christians worship.

Song of Songs 5:4

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and here’s a good one!

“My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.” – Song of Songs 5:4

Thrust is hand through the latch-opening? Um….vaginal fisting? Anal fisting? 🙂

I’m sticking with this same verse next week for another goodie! So tune in next week.

Song of Songs 2:6

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and I think I’ll stay within the book of Song of Songs for awhile. There’s so much good stuff in this book, particularly when Christianity is so prudish on sex.

“His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.” – Song of Songs 2:6

Now, what is meant by embrace? I’m taking it as he either has his right arm/hand cupping her breasts, or he’s fingering her. 🙂 It’s all in the Bible folks. 🙂

Song of Songs 2:16

If you need some biblical erotica, look no further than the book of Song of Songs. It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today I pull a verse from this book.

“My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.” – Song of Songs 2:16

Browses among the lilies? Taking a look at the rest of this book, this is code for “his head was buried between my legs and his tongue was doing wonders!”

LOL! Christians are so prudish on sex, but there’s a whole book of erotica in the Bible!

Isaiah 16:11

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is about poop! Yes, poop!

“My heart laments for Moab like a harp, my inmost being for Kir Hareseth.” – Isaiah 16:11

Okay, this may not seem all that crazy. What does inmost mean? Well, let’s turn to the King James Version of the Bible for some insight.

“Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh.” – Isaiah 16:11

Notice how bowels was turned to heart in the two versions? ROFL!!!

Daniel 3:19-20

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we have some crazy!

“Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.” – Daniel 3:19-20

As if the furnace at its regular temperature was not hot enough to kill the soldiers. It’s a furnace for crying out loud!!!