2 Samuel 12:11

Today is Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  The verse I’ve chosen comes from the book of 2 Samuel and from the chapter discussed in a post last week.

“Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight.” – 2 Samuel 12:11

God is angry with David for killing a husband and raping the wife.  Did God stop the killing and rape?  Nope.  God sat by and watched, doing nothing.  God decides to punish David and one of the punishments is to take David’s wives and allow them to be raped.  Um…what…the…FUCK!?!?!  The women get raped.  That’s David’s punishment.  This is God!  He’s supposed to be all-knowing!  How is it not possible that part of that all-knowing does not involve coming up with a punishment that doesn’t punish the innocent?  This leads us to two and only two options.  Either God is truly stupid or there is no god!

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Isaiah 13:16

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  Given the Bible is supposed to be a book of morals in which we are to live our lives by, I’m sure there’s no promotion of child abuse, right?  Surely God condemns the abuse of children.

“Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives violated.” – Isaiah 13:16

Well how nice.  Bash those babies into pieces before one’s eyes.  Loot the house and violate the wives!  The Bible is promoting robbery, rape, child abuse, and finally murder.  Book of morals?  Hardly.

Solar Eclipse Craziness

For those who witnessed the total solar eclipse last month, I’m sure it was quite the sight.  Even for myself, who only saw a partial eclipse, the event was quite impressive.  Most people, including most Christians, saw the event for what it was.  A scientific event in which the moon passed in front of the Sun and blocked most of the Sun’s light from reaching the surface of the Earth.  For a few others, however, the event was of literal biblical proportions.  There were reports of pastors claiming this was a sign of Satan’s return.  Really?  The moon moving in front of the Sun, as it typically does every couple of years somewhere on Earth, is a sign of Satan???  Oh for fuck’s sake.  How many of the extreme Christians hid in their basements during the eclipse for fear of Satan consuming their soul?  LOL!  Oh well, their loss.  I on the other hand opened my heart wide for Satan, our future overlord.  LOL!  And I will open it again in 2024 when the next total solar eclipse comes to the U.S.  After all, the extreme Christians need a reason to convince themselves Satan is returning.  The more I think about it, are extreme Christians welcoming the return of Jesus or the return of Satan?  Seems like they spend much more time talking about the return of Satan than they do Jesus.

Job 2:3

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse shows us the falsity of the god of the Bible.

“Then the Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.’” – Job 2:3

Job is blameless.  Job is upright.  Job fears God.  Job shuns evil.  Job does everything God asks of the people.  According to the Bible, God should reward Job, but what does God do instead?  He punishes Job severely.  He ruins him.  I’ve previously discussed each chapter of Job,and in those chapters Job sees his entire family killed.  Job sees much of his livestock destroyed.  Job has boils all over his body and is in constant pain.  Job is exactly the type of man God wants in his people, but God does the opposite of rewarding him.  What does this say about God?  A god to be worshipped?  No.  This is a god to be shunned and destroyed.

That’s not the end of the crazy in this verse, however.  Look at why God ruined Job.  Because Satan incited God against Job.  Satan incited God?  God is supposed to be perfect.  He’s supposed to be all powerful.  He’s supposed to know everything.  He’s the creator of all.  By the biblical definition of God, Satan should hold no sway whatsoever over God.  But just like that, God caves to Satan and destroys Job.  What does this say about God?  Quite a bit.  This is an easily manipulated, evil being that no one should worship.

2 Samuel 10:4 and 1 Chronicles 19:4

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday is just a tiny bit different in that it looks at two verses in separate chapters, 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles.  The two chapters are very, very similar in nature and often have verses that are a direct copy.  I’ve selected two verses that start a story that is so ‘moral’ it was repeated twice in the Bible.  I discussed one of these chapters in yesterday’s post and the other chapter in last Friday’s post.

“So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved them, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away.” – 1 Chronicles 19:4

“So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away.” – 2 Samuel 10:4

The only difference in the two verses is the percentage of beard that was shaved off the men.  The part that I wish to point out is the taking of pants by one army from another.  Um, this is supposed to be a book of morals, according to Christians, yet the story of one army losing their pants is repeated twice!  Now that’s some crazy in the Bible.

It gets even crazier as David’s army then goes on to kill the army that took their pants!  Is killing the justified response to getting de-pants?  According to the Bible it is…TWICE!

Matthew 25:41

Jesus is very different from the god of the Old Testament, correct?  The god of the Old Testament was harsh and punishing but Jesus is loving and compassionate, correct?  Nope, and today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday verse makes this very clear.

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’” – Matthew 25:41

According to the Bible, this is a direct quote from Jesus.  This verse states that anyone disagreeing with Jesus, no matter how minor, will be cast into an eternal fire prepared by the devil.  Love?  Compassion?  Not from Jesus.  You disagree and you’ll burn for all of eternity.

On the other hand, given God has killed far, far more people than Satan in the Bible, it may be far more desirable to spend an eternity in hell than continue living in the presence of this evil and unjust god.

Matthew 7:15

Today is Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and the verse of the week comes from the New Testament and is supposedly a direct quote from Jesus.

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” – Matthew 7:15

Yes, watch out for those false prophets who lie to you.  But how do you tell who is a false prophet and who is not?  The Bible offers no advice on this.  The Bible offers no evidence Jesus, and those who came before him, are the real prophets.  So yes, watch out for the false prophets, including those whose words are inked in red in the Bible.  😊 There’s no evidence this red inked speaking individual is a true prophet, let alone whether he even ever existed!  All we have is the statement that the Bible is to be believed and anything against the Bible is the work of Satan.  Hardly convincing evidence.