Revelation 22:21

For this week’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday I’ve chosen the very last verse in the Bible.

“The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen” – Revelation 22:21

The Bible could have ended with something meaningful like treating everyone, including those who are different from you, with the utmost respect. It could have said something very specific like don’t kill or don’t rape. But it didn’t. It ended by saying God is always with you. But is he really? Is he there when children are abused by their parents? Is he there when priests rape young children? Is he there when men rape and sexually assault women? Is he there when men are getting raped (yes, it does happen)? Is he there when natural disasters kill thousands every year? Is he there when children across the world starve to death? Is he there when members of the LGBTQ community are brutally beaten to death? Is he there during those random acts of violence that take place everyday?

No, he isn’t. It’s not a question of is he there. It’s a question of, if he exists, why isn’t he there? Or maybe he just doesn’t exist.

Advertisements

Genesis 4:18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week’s verse is a continuation of last week.

“To Enoch was born Irad” – Genesis 4:18

Who is Enoch? Enoch is the child of Cain and his wife, but we learned last week that Cain’s wife must be Eve, his mother, as she was the only woman on Earth. The Bible has yet to introduce another woman, so if Irad was born to Enoch, Enoch must have had sex with a woman. Yet there is still only one woman in the Bible and that woman is Eve. Meaning Enoch had sex with his…grandmother.

Oh the Bible, thy book of no critical thinking. 🙂

Genesis 4:17

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and I really want you to think about this verse.

“Cain made love to his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch.” – Genesis 4:17Uncte

According to the Bible, Adam and Eve were the first and only people on Earth. They gave birth to Cain and Abel. Then Cain made love to his wife. Um…there’s only one woman on Earth right now so…Cain made love to…his…mom. Yep, that’s the Bible for you! Populating the Earth through one incestual moment at a time.

Genesis 2:22

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and it doesn’t get any crazier than this!

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” – Genesis 2:22

No. Just fucking no. Women were not made from a man’s rib. For fuck’s sake, who believes this shit? Oh, but people do! There are far too many adults who believe men have one fewer rib than women because the Bible says so. Do you know how to disprove this insanity? Count your fucking ribs! Men and women and the SAME number of ribs.

Genesis 1:11

As I said last week, whenever you need something absurd, opening up to a random verse in Genesis is likely a good bet. Today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday verse comes from the first chapter in the first book in the Bible.

“Then God said, ‘Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.’” – Genesis 1:11

The craziness in this verse? God created plants before he created the Sun. This all-powerful, all-knowing being just created plants before they had an energy source. Sigh. Stupid, stupid man-made god.

Genesis 1:3

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and whenever I’m trying to find something stupid and absurd, I go to the book of Genesis.

“And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” – Genesis 1:3

Why is this absurd? In the Bible, this is the first thing God does. He has NOT yet created the Sun, the source of light in our Solar System. Sigh. God is supposedly all-perfect yet he makes a massive mistake in creating the Universe. Or…and bear with me…God is make believe!!!

1 Corinthians 6:13

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Today we learn that your body is not meant for pleasure. It’s meant for the Lord.

“You say, ‘Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.’ The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:13

The next time your partner goes down on you, tell them to stop immediately. That type of action does not lead to a baby. Therefore it is immoral. Only God can go down on you for your body is meant only for the Lord. 🙂 Mood killer, eh?