Matthew 7:7-8

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  Jesus states very clearly that your prayers will be answered.  All you need to do is simply ask.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7:7-8

That would be awesome…if it worked.  We, even Christians, know that you don’t always get what you ask for.  In fact, you often don’t get what you ask for.  Oh, but God works in mysterious ways.  Oh, but he answered your prayer, just not in the way you expected.  Oh, but he only gives you what you truly need.  Oh, but you must not have prayed hard enough or been truly devoted in your prayer.
There’s always some reason Christians give to explain why their prayers were not answered.  Yes, I know you prayed for a job promotion, but instead of a job promotion, God answered your prayer by giving your child bone cancer.  It may seem horrible, but he’s really helping you.  Your child’s bone cancer will give you the perseverance and determination needed to earn that job promotion.  WHAT…THE…FUCK!?!?!

How many people, every day, pray for the simple survival of themselves or their loved ones?  How many of those people die or see their loved one’s die of whatever they were praying to God to have stopped?  Did they not pray hard enough?  If you believe that you are truly a disgusting human being.

Let me be blunt.  Your prayers are not being answered by a god.  If your prayers are answered you are the one who answered those prayers.  You are the one who worked hard to earn that job promotion.  Your doctors are the ones who worked hard to save your life.  God did jack shit because he doesn’t exist.  If he does exist, he’s one hell of a dick for ignoring the prayers of those fighting for their very survival.

1 Thessalonians 4:7

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  Today’s verse comes from the book of 1 Thessalonians.

“For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:7

This verse is in reference to sexual impurity.  It’s funny that a God who allows, and in some cases commands, rape has the nerve to call on us “to live a holy life.”  Then again, it’s not God saying this, it is men of the time who want to control the masses.

It’s also very hypocritical that people are called upon to live a holy life when they’ve been commanded to murder in the name of God.  The takeaway?  I guess rape and murder are ‘pure’ in the eyes of God.  That’s definitely a heavy dose of CRAZY!

Exodus 35:2

Today’s crazy Bible verse comes from the book of Exodus, a book filled with a great amount of crazy!

“For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a day of sabbath rest to the Lord. Whoever does any work on it is to be put to death.” – Exodus 35:2

Don’t you dare work on the seventh day!!!  Working on the day of rest is punishable by death!  Think about that for a second.  It’s not murder.  It’s not rape.  It’s not slaughter of children.  All of these are crimes that are often excused by God in the Bible.  But working on the seventh day?  DEATH!!!

Fortunately today’s society doesn’t put to death people who work on the Sabbath.  Why not?  Because humans are more moral than the god of the Bible.

Matthew 8:12

Through scripture I’ve shown several times how Jesus and the New Testament are just as awful as the craziness in the Old Testament, which, by the way, Jesus follows (see Matthew 5:17).  Here’s another New Testament verse that shows Jesus is not the nice guy Christians make him to be.

“But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 8:12

Not exactly a nice thing to do.  It’s even worse if you read the King James Version.

“But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 8:12 (KJV)

Children!  The children will be cast out into outer darkness!  Children who are innocent.  Babies who are innocent.  Just as the evil god of the Old Testament punishes innocent children, the evil Jesus of the New Testament does the same.  Now that’s some crazy stuff to worship!

Matthew 5:19

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  We know there is a ton of crazy in the Old Testament.  That’s undeniable and Christians who have read the Bible will, often, acknowledge this crazy exists.  Unfortunately, they follow this up with the argument that “well, that’s the Old Testament.  It doesn’t apply today as Jesus came down to Earth and changed those old laws.”  Um, no he didn’t!

“Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 5:19

This is Jesus speaking and he makes it very clear that ALL commands must be followed.  Break the very least of these commands and you will be called the least in the kingdom of heaven.  It’s clear that Jesus expects you to follow the rules.  Those commands are NOT just the ten commandments Christians often say.  They include ALL of God’s commands.  Read Matthew 5:17, two verses before this verse.

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” – Matthew 5:17

This is Jesus speaking again and it is very clear from his words that he did not come to abolish any laws but to fulfill them.  All those crazy laws in the Old Testament?  Yep, Jesus demands they be followed and that, my friends, is a big load of crazy!

Matthew 19:9

Tuesdays are great because each Tuesday is a brand new Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday.  Today’s verse comes from the New Testament and directly from the mouth of Jesus.  It’s a mix of sex and misogyny and words today that are ignored by most Christians!

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 19:9

A man cannot divorce a woman for any reason except sexual immorality.  In other words, a marriage can be dissolved if a woman sleeps around.  But what if a man does the same?  Jesus says nothing on this.  Apparently, it’s okay for men to sleep around.  The verse also discusses nothing about consent.  What if husband and wife agree to this?  Is it wrong?  In my opinion no.  Per the Bible, however, only God can give consent and he often does when he wants to kill you.  🙂

Moreover, most Christians don’t follow the words of Jesus spoken in this verse.  Many Christians (and non-Christians to be fair) are divorced.  Many of those divorces have nothing to do with infidelity.  Yet the Bible demands those people to remain in unhappy marriages.  Great for family values, right?  You must remain unhappy!  There are many pastors/preachers/priests who are divorced and re-married.  And those who are not divorced often don’t care that others are divorced and re-married.  That is a good thing.  It shows society is much more moral than God/Jesus.  On the other hand, it’s hypocritical for Christians to demand we follow some verses, but not others.

Mark 14:51-52

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  Today’s verses focus on a naked man running away.  Yes, you read that right.  A naked man running away!

“A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.” – Mark 14:51-52

What makes this crazy is how weird it is to read this in the Bible, a book that supposedly teaches people morals.  Many Christians say you can only get your morals from God and the Bible.  So what moral does this teach us?  Wear clothing that comes off easily in case someone grabs you so you can easily escape?  It seems to me the Bible, if intended to teach morals, should focus more on real morals and less on naked people.  But hey, I’m just a Satan worshiping heathen!  🙂