Deuteronomy 23:10

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and you can always count on the Bible for a bit of crazy when it comes to sex!

“If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there.” – Deuteronomy 23:10

If God created men who naturally have wet dreams and “nocturnal emissions”, why is this same god kicking the men out of the camp? I get that the men are allowed back into camp if they “cleanse” themselves, but a simple towel or a handful of leaves will do the job!

Deuteronomy 28:41

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we head back to the book of Deuteronomy which is packed full of crazy!  Today’s verse points to one of those great family values the Bible is so known for.

“You will have sons and daughters but you will not keep them, because they will go into captivity.” – Deuteronomy 28:41

This is in the section on punishments for being disobedient to God.  It’s a great family value to punish the children for the deeds of the parents.  What did the children do?  Nothing.  Yet they are the ones forced into captivity.  An all-knowing god?  Give me a break.  This is god is an idiot if this is the punishment he comes up with.  Punishing children through no fault of their own?  What a horrible thing to do!  Yet the Bible is described by Christians as a book of morals to lead one’s life by.  Fortunately secular governments have devised far more just laws.

Deuteronomy 28:32

A couple of weeks ago I shared Deuteronomy 28:30 on a Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday.  In that verse God will have a husband’s wife raped if the husband disobeys God.  Instead of punishing the culprit, God punishes an innocent person.  God is at it again in Deuteronomy 28:32.

“Your sons and daughters will be given to another nation, and you will wear out your eyes watching for them day after day, powerless to lift a hand.” – Deuteronomy 28:32

Not only is your wife raped if you make a mistake, but your children are given to other nations to be slaves.  Your children are punished for your deeds.  And if you remember Job, it’s very possible you did NOTHING wrong, yet your children are the ones suffering.  This is the god Christians worship.  A god who punishes innocents who had NOTHING to do with the supposed crime.

This is even more alarming when you realize that a few chapters prior to this, in Deuteronomy 24:16, God said parents and children should NOT be punished for the crimes of the other.

“Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.” – Deuteronomy 24:16

The Christian apologist will argue that this verse only refers to death.  Sorry, but I’m not buying it.  God is willing to rape your wife and send your children off as slaves.  This is not a just god.  This is not a god worthy of worship.  This is an asshole god created by man who LIES.

Deuteronomy Recap

Before moving on to Psalms to discuss a chapter on Moses, let me do a quick recap of the book of Deuteronomy which I finished in the last post.

To put it simply, Deuteronomy was a disgusting chapter.  For the most part, Deuteronomy is a recap of what has already happened in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers.  There’s a lot of war and bloodlust from God and the Israelites.  God continues to demand the Israelites destroy any who are not like them.  In many cases, every man, woman, and child is demanded to be put to death.  The women are sometimes raped and kept as slaves.  That’s worse than death.  There’s a lot of misogyny in this chapter.  Men are clearly superior to woman in the eyes of God as written by mortal men.

There are definitely no morals to take away from this chapter.  There are a couple of verses that make sense, but they are surrounded by verse after verse of nonsense.  This chapter even discusses the eating of babies as a punishment.  Seriously!  God says he will make mothers and fathers who do not obey him eat their own children!  Yikes!  Yet this is somehow the god a huge chunk of the world’s population worships!  In several countries, the majority religion is Christianity.  Given the Bible says many evil and horrible things, this is simply amazing…and deeply disturbing.

I’m glad to be done with Deuteronomy, but I highly suspect things do not improve from here.  I already know there are many, many nonsense verses in the New Testament, as you can see from several of the Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday posts I’ve published.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 34: The Death of Moses

We have finally reached the end of Deuteronomy and it ends with the death of Moses.  The guy who has been a central figure of the last four chapters is about to die.  Remember that Moses (unlikely he ever existed) could have done none of what he did had God not hardened the hearts of the Egyptians.

“And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said.  He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.” – Deuteronomy 34:5-6

How convenient that to this day no one knows where his grave is.  It’s almost as if Moses never existed!  🙂

“Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” – Deuteronomy 34:7

Well, at least this time God kept his covenant with Noah and Moses did not live older than 120 years.

“Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him.” – Deuteronomy 34:9

Yeah…that’s not how knowledge transfer happens.

“Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land.  For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.” – Deuteronomy 34:10-12

Again, how convenient that no other prophet has risen in 2,000+ years.  It’s almost as if the Bible is a story of fiction!  🙂

That concludes this chapter and the book of Deuteronomy.  So long Moses, you’ll be missed.  Or not.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 91:  A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

Deuteronomy 28:30

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week I’ve pulled a verse from the book of Deuteronomy, which has no shortage of crazy.

“You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her.” – Deuteronomy 28:30

This verse is one among many verses that describe what God will do to you if you disobey him.  In this case, if you disobey God and you are engaged to be married, God will have your fiancé raped.  Lovely.  So let me get this straight.  The man does something wrong (and let’s assume it really was a wrong and not some dumb thing for God to get his kicks and giggles) yet the woman gets raped.  Misogyny much?!?!

God’s punishment in this case is to punish someone else who didn’t commit the crime.  A woman is to be raped for something her fiancé did?  Wow!  Simply wow!  And this is a god who supposedly loves everyone?  Hardly.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 33: Moses Blesses the Tribes

In the last chapters we learned Moses is about to die so now it’s time for Moses to bless the people.

“Surely it is you who love the people; all the holy ones are in your hand.” – Deuteronomy 32:3

Sorry Moses, but God does not love the people.  No god who demands as much blood as this god love the people.

“He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’” – Deuteronomy 32:27

Well, I’m sure God will drive out the enemies, but God has an odd definition of who an enemy is.  To God, anyone he doesn’t like at that particular moment is an enemy, regardless of what that person has done or hold that person is.  A three month old baby can (and has been) the enemy in the eyes of God.

I’m keeping this short as there’s not much to say about this chapter.  Moses is blessing the people and praises God over and over.  Moses is trying to shed a good light on God, but anyone who reads the Bible prior to this knows that God is not a good being.  God wants death and destruction.  Not love.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 34:  The Death of Moses

Deuteronomy – Chapter 32: The Song of Moses

We are closing in on Moses’ death and the end of Deuteronomy, but first, a song.

“I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!” – Deuteronomy 32:3

If by great you mean filled with bloodlust and demanding everyone fear him, then sure, go with great.

“He is the Rock, his works are perfect and all his ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.” – Deuteronomy 32:4

Perfect?  He killed off everyone except for Noah and his close family because his creations went wrong.  That’s not perfect!  Just?  ROFL!!!  Is it just to kill innocent babies?  Is it just to treat women as less than men?  No.  This is not a just nor perfect god.

“They made him jealous with their foreign gods and angered him with their detestable idols.” – Deuteronomy 32:16

How is it possible for the creations of a perfect god to do wrong and make this god jealous and angry?  That’s not the definition of a perfect being.

“The Lord saw this and rejected them because he was angered by his sons and daughters.” – Deuteronomy 32:19

Well what did God expect?  He’s been a horrible parent!  He even had all of his creations, except a couple, destroyed in a flood!

“For a fire will be kindled by my wrath, one that burns down to the realm of the dead below. It will devour the earth and its harvests and set afire the foundations of the mountains.” – Deuteronomy 32:22

Don’t forget that God loves you.  LOL!

“The young men and young women will perish, the infants and those with gray hair.” – Deuteronomy 32:25

More killing of innocent babies.

“Rejoice, you nations, with his people, for he will avenge the blood of his servants; he will take vengeance on his enemies and make atonement for his land and people.” – Deuteronomy 32:43

And if that means killing babies and raping women and children, so be it!

“he said to them, ‘Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.’” – Deuteronomy 32:46

In other words the Israelites are commanded to scare the shit out of their children.  It’s the only way to make people believe this utter bullshit!

“There on the mountain that you have climbed you will die and be gathered to your people, just as your brother Aaron died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people.” – Deuteronomy 32:50

The end of Moses is close.  At least he gets to die on a mountain!

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 33:  Moses Blesses the Tribes

Deuteronomy – Chapter 31: Joshua to Succeed Moses

We’re getting closer to the end of Deuteronomy and, SPOILER ALERT, Moses is about to die!  This chapter focuses on Moses’ successor.

“Then Moses went out and spoke these words to all Israel: ‘I am now a hundred and twenty years old and I am no longer able to lead you.’” – Deuteronomy 31:1-2

If you don’t see this as a problem then please start thinking for yourself.  Stop taking what others say as absolute truth and use your critical thinking skills to think skeptically.

“Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.’” – Deuteronomy 31:7

Hopefully Moses was a good teacher so Joshua can continue Moses’ legacy of fooling the people into believing nonsense.

“Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the Lord your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.” – Deuteronomy 31:13

And therein lies the problem with religion.  It teaches you to teach your kids to FEAR an imaginary sky daddy.  Religion succeeds through indoctrination and fear.  Take that away and religion dies.

“And the Lord said to Moses: ‘You are going to rest with your ancestors, and these people will soon prostitute themselves to the foreign gods of the land they are entering. They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them.’” – Deuteronomy 31:16

Of course the Israelites must rebel for the Bible could not continue without a rebellion.  Not enough fear has been put into the Bible to indoctrinate children for millennia to come.

“For I know that after my death you are sure to become utterly corrupt and to turn from the way I have commanded you. In days to come, disaster will fall on you because you will do evil in the sight of the Lord and arouse his anger by what your hands have made.” – Deuteronomy 31:29

This is the rambling of an old man on his death bed with occasional coherent chants of “Fuck you all!  Fuck you all to death!”

That concludes Deuteronomy 31.  Moses is still alive but his end is near.  Command of the Israelites has been handed over to Joshua who will lead them into the land of flowing milk and honey.  Anyone else picture literal rivers of milk and honey?  Is it good to mix honey with milk?  Does that promote mold growth?  Hmmm.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 32:  The Song of Moses

Deuteronomy – Chapter 30: Prosperity After Turning to the Lord

We learned in the last chapter that God NEVER forgives.  This chapter takes a look at prosperity, so you know it’s going to be good.  🙂

“…and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you.” – Deuteronomy 30:2-3

A direct contradiction to the last chapter in which it was stated that God never forgives.

“But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.” – Deuteronomy 30:17-18

A direct contradiction to the contradiction earlier in this chapter.  God cannot forgive you if he destroys and kills you for doing wrong.

“Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.” – Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Another jab at innocent children.  If you screw up, God will punish your children.

When I first read the title of this chapter I was thinking in terms of money riches.  I was wrong.  Follow God and you will be prosperous is the theme of this chapter.  Unfortunately the chapter starts with a contradiction and a few verses later contradicts that contradiction!!!  Sheesh!

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 31:  Joshua to Succeed Moses