Deuteronomy 23:10

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and you can always count on the Bible for a bit of crazy when it comes to sex!

“If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there.” – Deuteronomy 23:10

If God created men who naturally have wet dreams and “nocturnal emissions”, why is this same god kicking the men out of the camp? I get that the men are allowed back into camp if they “cleanse” themselves, but a simple towel or a handful of leaves will do the job!

Deuteronomy 28:41

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we head back to the book of Deuteronomy which is packed full of crazy!  Today’s verse points to one of those great family values the Bible is so known for.

“You will have sons and daughters but you will not keep them, because they will go into captivity.” – Deuteronomy 28:41

This is in the section on punishments for being disobedient to God.  It’s a great family value to punish the children for the deeds of the parents.  What did the children do?  Nothing.  Yet they are the ones forced into captivity.  An all-knowing god?  Give me a break.  This is god is an idiot if this is the punishment he comes up with.  Punishing children through no fault of their own?  What a horrible thing to do!  Yet the Bible is described by Christians as a book of morals to lead one’s life by.  Fortunately secular governments have devised far more just laws.

Deuteronomy 28:32

A couple of weeks ago I shared Deuteronomy 28:30 on a Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday.  In that verse God will have a husband’s wife raped if the husband disobeys God.  Instead of punishing the culprit, God punishes an innocent person.  God is at it again in Deuteronomy 28:32.

“Your sons and daughters will be given to another nation, and you will wear out your eyes watching for them day after day, powerless to lift a hand.” – Deuteronomy 28:32

Not only is your wife raped if you make a mistake, but your children are given to other nations to be slaves.  Your children are punished for your deeds.  And if you remember Job, it’s very possible you did NOTHING wrong, yet your children are the ones suffering.  This is the god Christians worship.  A god who punishes innocents who had NOTHING to do with the supposed crime.

This is even more alarming when you realize that a few chapters prior to this, in Deuteronomy 24:16, God said parents and children should NOT be punished for the crimes of the other.

“Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.” – Deuteronomy 24:16

The Christian apologist will argue that this verse only refers to death.  Sorry, but I’m not buying it.  God is willing to rape your wife and send your children off as slaves.  This is not a just god.  This is not a god worthy of worship.  This is an asshole god created by man who LIES.

Deuteronomy Recap

Before moving on to Psalms to discuss a chapter on Moses, let me do a quick recap of the book of Deuteronomy which I finished in the last post.

To put it simply, Deuteronomy was a disgusting chapter.  For the most part, Deuteronomy is a recap of what has already happened in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers.  There’s a lot of war and bloodlust from God and the Israelites.  God continues to demand the Israelites destroy any who are not like them.  In many cases, every man, woman, and child is demanded to be put to death.  The women are sometimes raped and kept as slaves.  That’s worse than death.  There’s a lot of misogyny in this chapter.  Men are clearly superior to woman in the eyes of God as written by mortal men.

There are definitely no morals to take away from this chapter.  There are a couple of verses that make sense, but they are surrounded by verse after verse of nonsense.  This chapter even discusses the eating of babies as a punishment.  Seriously!  God says he will make mothers and fathers who do not obey him eat their own children!  Yikes!  Yet this is somehow the god a huge chunk of the world’s population worships!  In several countries, the majority religion is Christianity.  Given the Bible says many evil and horrible things, this is simply amazing…and deeply disturbing.

I’m glad to be done with Deuteronomy, but I highly suspect things do not improve from here.  I already know there are many, many nonsense verses in the New Testament, as you can see from several of the Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday posts I’ve published.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 34: The Death of Moses

We have finally reached the end of Deuteronomy and it ends with the death of Moses.  The guy who has been a central figure of the last four chapters is about to die.  Remember that Moses (unlikely he ever existed) could have done none of what he did had God not hardened the hearts of the Egyptians.

“And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said.  He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.” – Deuteronomy 34:5-6

How convenient that to this day no one knows where his grave is.  It’s almost as if Moses never existed!  🙂

“Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” – Deuteronomy 34:7

Well, at least this time God kept his covenant with Noah and Moses did not live older than 120 years.

“Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him.” – Deuteronomy 34:9

Yeah…that’s not how knowledge transfer happens.

“Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land.  For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.” – Deuteronomy 34:10-12

Again, how convenient that no other prophet has risen in 2,000+ years.  It’s almost as if the Bible is a story of fiction!  🙂

That concludes this chapter and the book of Deuteronomy.  So long Moses, you’ll be missed.  Or not.  🙂

Coming Soon:  Psalms – Chapter 91:  A Prayer of Moses the Man of God

Deuteronomy 28:30

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and this week I’ve pulled a verse from the book of Deuteronomy, which has no shortage of crazy.

“You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her.” – Deuteronomy 28:30

This verse is one among many verses that describe what God will do to you if you disobey him.  In this case, if you disobey God and you are engaged to be married, God will have your fiancé raped.  Lovely.  So let me get this straight.  The man does something wrong (and let’s assume it really was a wrong and not some dumb thing for God to get his kicks and giggles) yet the woman gets raped.  Misogyny much?!?!

God’s punishment in this case is to punish someone else who didn’t commit the crime.  A woman is to be raped for something her fiancé did?  Wow!  Simply wow!  And this is a god who supposedly loves everyone?  Hardly.

Deuteronomy – Chapter 33: Moses Blesses the Tribes

In the last chapters we learned Moses is about to die so now it’s time for Moses to bless the people.

“Surely it is you who love the people; all the holy ones are in your hand.” – Deuteronomy 32:3

Sorry Moses, but God does not love the people.  No god who demands as much blood as this god love the people.

“He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’” – Deuteronomy 32:27

Well, I’m sure God will drive out the enemies, but God has an odd definition of who an enemy is.  To God, anyone he doesn’t like at that particular moment is an enemy, regardless of what that person has done or hold that person is.  A three month old baby can (and has been) the enemy in the eyes of God.

I’m keeping this short as there’s not much to say about this chapter.  Moses is blessing the people and praises God over and over.  Moses is trying to shed a good light on God, but anyone who reads the Bible prior to this knows that God is not a good being.  God wants death and destruction.  Not love.

Coming Soon:  Deuteronomy – Chapter 34:  The Death of Moses