Today’s Crazy Bible Verse comes from the book of Isaiah.
“Hyenas will inhabit her strongholds, jackals her luxurious palaces.” – Isaiah 13:22
At first glance this may not seem so crazy. What makes it crazy is the replacement of dragons in the King James Version of the Bible with hyenas and jackals in the NIV Bible. The change from a dragon to a hyena is a big one! If the Bible is God’s literal word as some Christians claim, why do the animals change from mythical creatures? Hmmm.
It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is a great example of the God of the Gaps argument.
“People will flee to caves in the rocks and to holes in the ground from the fearful presence of the Lord and the splendor of his majesty, when he rises to shake the earth.” – Isaiah 2:19
When Earth shakes we call this an earthquake. During the time of the Old Testament the cause of an earthquake was not known, so it makes sense the authors of the Bible described this shaking as an act of God. As time passed and people learned more about the Earth’s interior we gained a very good understanding of what causes earthquakes. When rock breaks along a fault line, it releases a great deal of energy and causes the ground to shake. We even have strong evidence today that fracking is causing earthquakes where earthquakes were previously very rare!
The reason this is a crazy statement in the Bible is many Christians today say every verse in the Bible is the literal truth of God. No, it isn’t. Science each day closes the gap in the God of the Gaps argument. As the gap closes, God becomes weaker and weaker. Saying earthquakes are caused by God when science tells us otherwise doesn’t make God stronger or anymore true. It weakens the religious argument. Science and the internet are increasing the rise of the non-believers every day.
It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Given the Bible is supposed to be a book of morals in which we are to live our lives by, I’m sure there’s no promotion of child abuse, right? Surely God condemns the abuse of children.
“Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives violated.” – Isaiah 13:16
Well how nice. Bash those babies into pieces before one’s eyes. Loot the house and violate the wives! The Bible is promoting robbery, rape, child abuse, and finally murder. Book of morals? Hardly.
It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and there is definitely some crazy in today’s verse!
“The sword of the Lord is bathed in blood it is covered with fat—the blood of lambs and goats, fat from the kidneys of rams. For the Lord has a sacrifice in Bozrah and a great slaughter in the land of Edom.” – Isaiah 34:6
Um…what…the…fuck?!?!?! What kind of god is this? His sword is bathed in blood and covered in animal fat? Huh? This is absolutely crazy. If I ever encounter anyone caring a sword covered in animal blood and fat, I am running fast in the other direction. Nothing good can come of someone with a blood and fat covered sword! Yikes!
Next week I’m covering Isaiah 34:7 which is also crazy!
Like last week, this Tuesday’s Crazy Bible Verse comes from the book of Isaiah. Let’s face it. Isaiah is filled with MANY crazy Bible verses!!!
“And the wild oxen will fall with them; the bull calves and the great bulls. Their land will be drenched with blood, and the dust will be soaked with fat.” – Isaiah 34:7
The land will be drenched in blood and the dust will be soaked with fat. That’s crazy enough, but what makes this verse even crazier is the King James Version. The above is the verse from the NIV.
“And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.” – Isaiah 34:7 (KJV)
Unicorns! Mother fucking unicorns! Now that’s some crazy stuff! The Bible says unicorns exist. Your Christian apologist will argue the Bible really means a rhinoceros, but if that’s what the authors meant to say, they would have said that. They really meant to say unicorns!!! The moral book of God include unicorns!!! ROFL!!!
It’s my favorite day of the week! It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Today’s verse comes from the book of Isaiah.
“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?’” – Isaiah 36:12
I’m not even sure what to say to this. The Bible is actually discussing the eating of one’s own excrement and drinking one’s own urine. Um…okay?!?!?! No need to talk about helping people or talk about something meaningful. The authors of the Bible decided it was most important to talk about eating poop and drinking piss. 🙂
God is all about love, right? Wrong! In today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday I’ve pulled one verse that shows God is the one who created evil in the world.
“I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster, I, the Lord, do all these things.” – Isaiah 45:7
The Bible makes it very clear God created evil. God created disasters. God created hate. God created painful death to good people. God created bone cancer in children. He does “all these things.” That is simply crazy given the description of God by Christians. They claim God is love. No he’s not. The Bible says the exact opposite! God himself created all the horrible things on this planet. Why would an all-loving god do that? There are two possible reasons. One, he’s not all-loving, or two, he’s not real. I go with the latter.
I’ve also heard Christians apologize away this verse and/or use Jesus to try to get around it. Sorry, Jesus doesn’t save (pun intended) you here. Read Matthew 5:17. Jesus is God according to Christians and this verse in Matthew clearly states that Jesus follows all of the old laws (Old Testament). The idea of all-loving and just God? ROFL!!!