Jeremiah 8:10

It’s another week of Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse looks at how God is just and thoughtful in how he hands out punishment.

“Therefore I will give their wives to other men and their fields to new owners.” – Jeremiah 8:10

God doesn’t punish those who do bad. He punishes their wives! Because we know those men only did bad because their wives tricked them, right? God is a fucking idiot and this is just one of many, many verses in the Bible in which God punishes those who did not do the wicked deed.

Jeremiah 3:33

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse comes from the book of Jeremiah.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” – Jeremiah 3:33

At first this doesn’t seem crazy and I first found it by doing a Google search of “My Favorite Bible Verse”.  One of the first websites that popped up from the search contained this verse.  It basically says that if you are struggling and need help, put your faith in God and ask for help.  If you do, he will answer you.  Not only will he answer you, but he will tell you ‘great and unsearchable things you do not know’.

So why is this crazy?  It’s crazy because it is a verse that makes no sense.  It’s a verse Christians can use to explain why prayers are not answered.  If your prayer is not answered, you must not have prayed correctly or prayed with your total heart devoted to God.  There is no check and balance on this argument.  There’s no way to fact-check one’s heart.  If your prayer comes true, you must have done it right.  If not, you suck at prayer and are not devoted completely to God.

This particular verse doesn’t just say God will answer you, but that he will answer you with something great and unsearchable.  You can’t receive something great and be told no at the same time.  You’re only told no if you didn’t pray hard enough.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine.  If only he/she had more faith in God, their two year old wouldn’t have died of anal cancer.  Ug.  It’s a disgusting argument and anyone saying it needs a good punch to the face, especially if the argument involves children.

Jeremiah 19:9

This week’s crazy Bible verse continues a theme of God killing innocent children.  To put some context to today’s verse, God is telling the Israelites what He’s going to do with the people of the Valley of Ben Hinnom.

“I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and daughters, and they will eat one another’s flesh because their enemies will press the siege so hard against them to destroy them.” – Jeremiah 19:9

Let’s assume for a minute that the people of this land are evil and need to be punished.  God certainly states He will deliver a harsh punishment, there’s no doubt about that.  However, the punishment God doles out also punishes the innocent.  Some of these sons and daughters will be adults, so maybe they are evil in some ways and deserve punishment too, but we can certainly expect some of these sons and daughters to be infants and children who are not evil.  They are being punished for the sins of their parents.  What child deserves to be punished for the sins of their parent?  No child!  Yet God chooses to punish children as well as adults.  Not only are the children punished, they are punished in a horrible way.  God forces the parents to eat their own children!  As if burning or stoning to death wasn’t bad enough, God resorts to the eating of children.  Eating children = the love of God.