Jeremiah – Chapter 38: Jeremiah Thrown Into a Cistern

Jeremiah is going from prison to a cistern. Yikes!

“Then the officials said to the king, ‘This man should be put to death. He is discouraging the soldiers who are left in this city, as well as all the people, by the things he is saying to them. This man is not seeking the good of these people but their ruin.’” – Jeremiah 38:4

Should Jeremiah be killed? Of course not.

“So they took Jeremiah and put him into the cistern of Malkijah, the king’s son, which was in the courtyard of the guard. They lowered Jeremiah by ropes into the cistern; it had no water in it, only mud, and Jeremiah sank down into the mud.” – Jeremiah 38:6

An interesting punishment.

“My lord the king, these men have acted wickedly in all they have done to Jeremiah the prophet. They have thrown him into a cistern, where he will starve to death when there is no longer any bread in the city.” – Jeremiah 38:9

I mean, if we are fair, the reason there is no bread is Jeremiah ate it all in the last chapter. LOL!

“Then Jeremiah said to Zedekiah, ‘This is what the Lord God Almighty, the God of Israel, says: ‘If you surrender to the officers of the king of Babylon, your life will be spared and this city will not be burned down; you and your family will live. But if you will not surrender to the officers of the king of Babylon, this city will be given into the hands of the Babylonians and they will burn it down; you yourself will not escape from them.’’” – Jeremiah 38:17-19

After Jeremiah is rescued, he passes along a message supposedly from God that the King will be saved if he turns the officers over to Babylon.

“All your wives and children will be brought out to the Babylonians.” – Jeremiah 38:23

God will punish women and children.

Once again, God punishes those who are innocent.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 39: The Fall of Jerusalem

Jeremiah – Chapter 37: Jeremiah in Prison

Uh oh! Jeremiah is going to prison in this chapter!

“Neither he nor his attendants nor the people of the land paid any attention to the words the Lord had spoken through Jeremiah the prophet.” – Jeremiah 37:2

Again, given God is not speaking and he’s never spoken, who would believe Jeremiah with no evidence?

“They were angry with Jeremiah and had him beaten and imprisoned in the house of Jonathan the secretary, which they had made into a prison.” – Jeremiah 37:15

Should Jeremiah have been beaten? No. Not at all.

“King Zedekiah then gave orders for Jeremiah to be placed in the courtyard of the guard and given a loaf of bread from the street of the bakers each day until all the bread in the city was gone. So Jeremiah remained in the courtyard of the guard.” – Jeremiah 37:21

A weird ending. Makes it sound as if Jeremiah ate the city’s entire bread supply!

That does it for this chapter. God still refuses to show himself or speak himself. He could do this and solve all problems but chooses not to. That is very telling that this God has no desire for peace.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 38: Jeremiah Thrown Into a Cistern

Jeremiah – Chapter 36: Jehoiakim Burns Jeremiah’s Scroll

God has some more bad news for the people in this chapter.

“Perhaps when the people of Judah hear about every disaster I plan to inflict on them, they will each turn from their wicked ways; then I will forgive their wickedness and their sin.” – Jeremiah 36:3

God could easily speak himself and make it clear, but he doesn’t. He speaks through a few random people that have no evidence God exists.

“Then Jeremiah told Baruch, ‘I am restricted; I am not allowed to go to the Lord’s temple.’” – Jeremiah 36:5

This makes Jeremiah’s story even more shady!

“Whenever Jehudi had read three or four columns of the scroll, the king cut them off with a scribe’s knife and threw them into the firepot, until the entire scroll was burned in the fire. 24 The king and all his attendants who heard all these words showed no fear, nor did they tear their clothes.” – Jeremiah 36:23-24

And why would he show fear? This is a friend of Jeremiah who supposedly speaks the word of God but there is no evidence of this!

“Therefore this is what the Lord says about Jehoiakim king of Judah: He will have no one to sit on the throne of David; his body will be thrown out and exposed to the heat by day and the frost by night.” – Jeremiah 36:30

God is punishing someone because he is too cowardly to speak.

“I will punish him and his children and his attendants for their wickedness; I will bring on them and those living in Jerusalem and the people of Judah every disaster I pronounced against them, because they have not listened.” – Jeremiah 36:31

And now God is going to punish innocent children.

God, the baby killer. This is not a just god. This is not a moral god. This is an asshole god who gets pissy and throws a temper tantrum.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 37: Jeremiah in Prison

Jeremiah – Chapter 35: The Rekabites

In the previous chapter of Jeremiah we learned that God wants you to free slaves. Great, until you realize God allowed slaves, and then you only need to free them if they’ve served you for 6 years. So in other words, God is still an immoral jackass not worthy of anyone’s worship.

“But they replied, ‘We do not drink wine, because our forefather Jehonadab son of Rekab gave us this command: ‘Neither you nor your descendants must ever drink wine.’’” – Jeremiah 35:6

The chapter starts with God wanting a family to drink wine and they reply they do not want to because their family doesn’t drink wine.

“Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah, saying: ‘This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Go and tell the people of Judah and those living in Jerusalem, ‘Will you not learn a lesson and obey my words?’ declares the Lord.’” – Jeremiah 35:12-13

God is pissy because some people won’t drink wine.

“Therefore this is what the Lord God Almighty, the God of Israel, says: ‘Listen! I am going to bring on Judah and on everyone living in Jerusalem every disaster I pronounced against them.’” – Jeremiah 35:17

Now God is going to destroy the people because they didn’t drink wine.

Moral of this story? God is horrible. The Bible is NOT a book of morals.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 36: Jehoiakim Burns Jeremiah’s Scroll

Jeremiah – Chapter 34: Warning to Zedekiah

In the last chapter, we saw God make a promise that can be broken at the next solar eclipse. Let’s see what this chapter has in store for us.

“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Go to Zedekiah king of Judah and tell him, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am about to give this city into the hands of the king of Babylon, and he will burn it down. You will not escape from his grasp but will surely be captured and given into his hands.’” – Jeremiah 34:2-3

Remember, God loves you with all his heart when he hands you over to the enemy.

“Yet hear the Lord’s promise to you, Zedekiah king of Judah. This is what the Lord says concerning you: You will not die by the sword; you will die peacefully.” – Jeremiah 34:4-5

But no worries because when the enemy kills you, it will be a peaceful death.

“The word came to Jeremiah from the Lord after King Zedekiah had made a covenant with all the people in Jerusalem to proclaim freedom for the slaves. Everyone was to free their Hebrew slaves, both male and female; no one was to hold a fellow Hebrew in bondage.” – Jeremiah 34:8-9

Freeing slaves is good, but why did God allow slaves in the first place?

“Every seventh year each of you must free any fellow Hebrews who have sold themselves to you. After they have served you six years, you must let them go free.” – Jeremiah 34:14

This is even worse. God says you only need to free your slaves after they’ve been your slave for six years!

The next several verses are God being upset the people are taking back slaves, but God has no room to speak. He allowed slavery and says that the slaves are only free and after six years of slavery. A book of morals? Fuck that.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 35: The Rekabites

Jeremiah – Chapter 33: Promise of Restoration

I love it that the word ‘promise’ is in the title of this chapter, given God has broken so many promises!

“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it—the Lord is his name: ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’” – Jeremiah 33:2-3

This is exactly out scams start!

“For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal palaces of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians: ‘They will be filled with the dead bodies of the people I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness. Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.’” – Jeremiah 33:4-6

So much packed into these three verses. God is going to fill the streets with dead bodies, but don’t worry, he is bringing health and healing. Um? And God makes it very clear he hides. LOL! As if we needed God to tell us he ‘hides’. Or rather, never exists!

“‘The days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the people of Israel and Judah.’” – Jeremiah 33:14

It’s a trap!

“The word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: ‘This is what the Lord says: ‘If you can break my covenant with the day and my covenant with the night, so that day and night no longer come at their appointed time, then my covenant with David my servant—and my covenant with the Levites who are priests ministering before me—can be broken and David will no longer have a descendant to reign on his throne.’’” – Jeremiah 33:19-21

LOL! God’s covenant can be broken by a solar eclipse. Sheesh.

Sigh…God makes a promise with the people, one that will break with the next solar eclipse. There is typically a solar eclipse somewhere on Earth every year or two, so this promise from God won’t last long.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 34: Warning to Zedekiah

Jeremiah – Chapter 32: Jeremiah Buys a Field

Based on the title of today’s chapter, we are going to learn about a real estate transaction. Hmmm.

“I knew that this was the word of the Lord;  so I bought the field at Anathoth from my cousin Hanamel and weighed out for him seventeen shekels of silver.” – Jeremiah 32:8-9

Surely there are more important issues to work on?

“This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Take these documents, both the sealed and unsealed copies of the deed of purchase, and put them in a clay jar so they will last a long time.” – Jeremiah 32:14

Because we all know that clay pots are the greatest long term storage device of all time!

“You (God) show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the parents’ sins into the laps of their children after them.” – Jeremiah 32:18

Justice against children for things they didn’t do. What a just God.

The rest of the chapter is a long rant by God about how awful the people are and he’s going to kill and destroy them all. Then God rants about how he loves the people and will save them. This is an awful god.

Coming Soon: Jeremiah – Chapter 33: Promise of Restoration