Recap of Joshua

Early this week I finished up my discussion of the book of Joshua.  Joshua was a 24 chapter book detailing the time of Joshua who led the Israelites into the promised land after Moses died.  To put it simply, Joshua is quite possibly the most disgusting book in the Bible.

Death?  Yes.  Murder?  Yes.  Rape?  Yes.  Killing of children and babies?  Yes.  Misogyny?  Yes.  Hardening of hearts?  Yes.  Slavery?  Yes.  Pillaging of cities?  Yes.  Pushing innocent people out of their land?  Yes.  All done by God’s command?  YES!

See what I mean?  This chapter is horrible!  How a person can read this chapter and remain a Christian is beyond me.  This book holds no moral values and is evidence the Bible should NEVER be used to support moral living.  Moral living according to the Bible is to be against anyone who is not like you.  Hating them is not enough.  You must kill them too.

I don’t expect the Bible to get better after this, but it simply amazes me how all of this can be right there in the Bible and yet Christians still hold up the Bible as an amazing book to be used as a guide to lead one’s life.  If you’re using the Bible as a guide to lead your life, you are either faking it or you should be in prison because you’ve likely murdered or raped someone by now.

Joshua – Chapter 24: The Covenant Renewed at Shechem

Today is the last chapter of Joshua!  A very disgusting chapter that teaches all about the true ‘morals’ of the Bible.  Spoiler alert!  Joshua dies!

“Then I sent Moses and Aaron, and I afflicted the Egyptians by what I did there, and I brought you out.” – Joshua 24:5

This is Joshua telling the Israelites what God said, so essentially the word of God.  Afflicted?  God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians which set this whole disgusting story in motion.  If the hearts weren’t hardened, none of this happens and the land is at peace.

“You did not do it with your own sword and bow.” – Joshua 24:12

This is in reference to the Israelites fighting the people of the land, making it clear that God slaughtered the innocent people already living there.

“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness.” – Joshua 24:14

A god that commands you fear him is no god to be worshipped.  It is a god to be forgotten for good.

“It was the Lord our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes.” – Joshua 24:17

Murder and rape of innocents is a great sign?  These people are sick!

“You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins.” – Joshua 24:19

A god who loves but doesn’t forgive?  That’s just a tad bit contradictory.

“And Joshua recorded these things in the Book of the Law of God. Then he took a large stone and set it up there under the oak near the holy place of the Lord.” – Joshua 24:26

Why must important decrees from God be written on a stone that erodes within a few decades and can no longer be read?  Maybe that’s part of the problem with the Israelites constantly forgetting.

“After these things, Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of a hundred and ten.” – Joshua 24:29

One hundred and ten and leading the people?  I doubt it.

“Israel served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the Lord had done for Israel.” – Joshua 24:31

Including the rape and murder of women and children.

And that’s the end of the book of Joshua, possibly the most disgusting chapter in the Bible.  Rape, murder, death, and blood lust.  Those words sum up this book very well.

Coming Soon:  Judges – Chapter 1:  Israel Fights the Remaining Canaanites

Joshua’s Farewell to the Leaders

There are two chapters of Joshua left, including today’s, and we are about to see the death of Joshua.  Let’s jump right into it.

“After a long time had passed and the Lord had given Israel rest from all their enemies around them, Joshua, by then a very old man, summoned all Israel—their elders, leaders, judges and officials—and said to them: “I am very old. You yourselves have seen everything the Lord your God has done to all these nations for your sake; it was the Lord your God who fought for you.” – Joshua 23:1-3

Rest?  I guess that part is conveniently left out of the Bible.  Who wants to discuss peace when we can talk about blood lust?  Sheesh!  As for the part about the Lord fighting for you, not really.  God hardened the hearts of the people of the land to justify you slaughtering them.  That’s hardly a god who’s with you.  It’s a jackass god jerking off to the killing and raping of innocents.

“The Lord your God himself will push them out for your sake. He will drive them out before you, and you will take possession of their land, as the Lord your God promised you.” – Joshua 23:5

OMFG?!?!?!  They’re not done with this yet!  There’s more slaughtering to do?  Holy shit!!!

“Be very strong; be careful to obey all that is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, without turning aside to the right or to the left.” – Joshua 23:6

Does this include ALL the laws, or just the ones you find convenient?  For example, does it include the law of wearing fabric of two types?

“One of you routs a thousand, because the Lord your God fights for you, just as he promised.” – Joshua 23:10

A word was left out and that word is ‘innocents’.  The Israelites routed innocent people whose hearts were hardened by God.

“So be very careful to love the Lord your God.” – Joshua 23:11

Or he will ass rape you with a golden statue!  LOL!

“But if you turn away and ally yourselves with the survivors of these nations that remain among you and if you intermarry with them and associate with them, then you may be sure that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you.” – Joshua 23:12-13

In other words, people different than you are icky and must be avoided at all costs.  They must be shunned and treated horribly.  All in the name of God.

“If you violate the covenant of the Lord your God, which he commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and you will quickly perish from the good land he has given you.” – Joshua 23:16

This concludes Joshua 23.  Joshua hasn’t died yet, but he has given us a recap of all the horrible things the Israelites have done in the name of God.  To top it off, Joshua does his best to scare the Israelites into faithfully following this god for all of time.  No one should rule with fear, least of all a god who claims to love you.  A parent who rules over their children with fear is a child abuser.

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 24:  The Covenant Renewed at Shechem

Joshua – Chapter 22: Eastern Tribes Return Home

In the last chapter of Joshua we learned about towns for the Israelites.  Let’s see what happens in Chapter 22.

 

“Then Joshua summoned the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh and said to them, ‘You have done all that Moses the servant of the Lord commanded, and you have obeyed me in everything I commanded.’” – Joshua 22:1-2

 

And let’s not forget these commands included the rape and murder of women and children.  God loves us all.

 

“But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you: to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to keep his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” – Joshua 22:5

 

Yes, don’t you dare forget to murder the people I tell you to murder.  Same goes for raping.  And pillaging.

 

“Return to your homes with your great wealth—with large herds of livestock, with silver, gold, bronze and iron, and a great quantity of clothing—and divide the plunder from your enemies with your fellow Israelites.” – Joshua 22:8

 

What did these ‘enemies’ do to deserve this?  Nothing, other than having their hearts hardened by God.

 

“And when the Israelites heard that they had built the altar on the border of Canaan at Geliloth near the Jordan on the Israelite side, the whole assembly of Israel gathered at Shiloh to go to war against them.” – Joshua 22:11-12

 

So an altar is deserving of war?  Wow!  This god is definitely filled with blood lust.

 

“If you rebel against the Lord today, tomorrow he will be angry with the whole community of Israel.” – Joshua 22:18

 

This is problematic for a god that is supposedly all-knowing and loves his people.  Why would God punish those who committed no crime?  Probably because he’s a jackass god who doesn’t exist.

 

“No! We did it for fear that some day your descendants might say to ours, ‘What do you have to do with the Lord, the God of Israel?’” – Joshua 22:24

 

Makes sense given the senseless killing God has commanded the Israelites to do thus far.  I’d be scared too!

 

One chapter after saying the Israelites could rest and be at peace, God immediately has the Israelites at the brink of war.  Granted, no war took place in this chapter, but it was close.  God doesn’t want peace.  He wants death and destruction and commands it of the Israelites.

 

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 23:  Joshua’s Farewell to the Leaders

Joshua – Chapter 21: Towns for the Levites

In our last look in Joshua, Joshua 20, we learned about cities for refugees.  This chapter we learn about towns for the Levites.  Remember that the Levites have received no inheritance as God is somehow their inheritance.

“The towns of the Levites in the territory held by the Israelites were forty-eight in all, together with their pasturelands.  Each of these towns had pasturelands surrounding it; this was true for all these towns.” – Joshua 21:41-42

The first 40 verses are simply a listing of which tribes get which lands.  In total 48 cities were given to the Levites.  That’s 48 cities the people already living in the land were kicked out of.  Lovely.

“So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hands. Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.” – Joshua 21:43-45

How nice of the Lord to fulfill his promise of hardening the hearts of innocents and slaughtering the people of the land.  God is such a nice Lord filled with peace.  ROFL!!!

That concludes Joshua 21.  God says he is giving rest to the people.  How long will this rest last?  How long before there’s more murder and rape?  We’ll have to keep reading to find out.

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 22:  Eastern Tribes Return Home

Joshua – Chapter 20: Cities of Refuge

The last few chapters of Joshua have focused on the distribution of stolen lands to the Israelis but we are finally done allotting lands!  Thanks goodness!  Let’s see what Joshua 20 has in store for us.

“Then the Lord said to Joshua: ‘Tell the Israelites to designate the cities of refuge, as I instructed you through Moses, so that anyone who kills a person accidentally and unintentionally may flee there and find protection from the avenger of blood.’” – Joshua 20:1-3

Accidents happen and I understand someone wanting to seek revenge.  However, we have laws today to prevent this from happening.  A law doesn’t stop every instance of revenge, but it will stop most revenge attacks for fear of punishment.  Why does God not step in and say, hey, no revenge attacks for accidents?  Instead the person involved in an accident who survives is required to flee!  A person, through no fault of their own, must leave their family and friends and flee to another city!  And what’s to stop the victim’s family from traveling to the refuge city and seeking revenge?  Nothing!  This command of having refuge cities makes no sense.

“They are to stay in that city until they have stood trial before the assembly and until the death of the high priest who is serving at that time.” – Joshua 20:6

Um…what?  Why is the person being put on trial if this was an accident and 100% unintentional?  And why does the death of a high priest matter at all?  So the person who is required to flee can come back when the high priests dies?  Are you serious?  What does someone else’s death have to do with returning to your home city that you were forced to flee due to some crazy law?  Sigh.

This was a short chapter and we are now at the end.  There’s no need to create refuge cities if you have a system of laws and a court system that is just and fair.  Then again, we know very well that God is anything but just and fair.

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 21:  Towns for the Levites

Joshua – Chapter 19: Allotment for Simeon

Okay, the book of Joshua is really getting on my nerves.  There’s quite a bit of murder, rape, and slavery, but it’s really annoying to see how many chapters are devoted to allotting stolen lands to the Israelites.  Seriously?  There aren’t better things to discuss?!?!?  Actual family values?  Love?  Respect?  Nah, let’s keep writing about the distribution of the lands we stole from the people we raped, murdered, and put into slavery.

There’s honestly no verses worth mentioning from this chapter.  It discusses the allotment of lands to 7 different, including Joshua.  All as God commanded.  God loves everyone, expect for the people he rapes and murders.  The Bible is a HORRIBLE book!  Hopefully the next chapter will move on from this nonsense of distributing stolen lands.  I swear, I’m not slacking off, there is really NOTHING worth mentioning in this chapter.  Oh wait, there is one verse worth mentioning.

“And so they finished dividing the land.” – Joshua 19:51

Praise Jesus there is a supreme being!!!  ROFL!

Coming Soon:  Joshua – Chapter 20:  Cities of Refuge