Leviticus 21:18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is filled with a heavy dose of crazy.  I hope you’re ready!

“No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed…” – Leviticus 21:18

This refers to who can and cannot bring a food offering to God.  Think about this for a second.  Anyone who is deformed or has a disability of any kind is forbidden from bringing food to God.  What kind of god is this?  Would an all-loving god turn away people who are not perfect?  Everyone is supposedly created by God, according to the Bible.  Why would this creator turn away people he created?  He created them with these disabilities.  This verse is one of many that show just how disgusting and hateful this god is in the Bible.  He is not a god worthy of worship, that is for sure.  The verse itself continues with a few more specifics on disabilities that disgust God.

Leviticus 25:44

The last couple of weeks of Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday focused on verses in which Jesus says in the New Testament that he supports and requires that everyone follow the laws of the Old Testament.  Let’s look at one of those Old Testament laws today.  I’ve discussed many already and there are hundreds, if not thousands to choose from.  Let me pick just one.

“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.” – Leviticus 25:44

The Bible is a moral book?  The Christian god is a moral god?  Supporting slavery is moral?  This is one of the Old Testament laws Jesus says he supports.  Jesus is not nice.  Jesus is not kind.  Jesus is not love.  Jesus is just as evil as the God of the Old Testament.  In case you are thinking slave means something else in the Bible, the Bible also makes it clear you can beat your slaves to near death (Exodus 21:20).  Moral?  Hardly.  The Bible is a disgusting book.  God is a disgusting character.  Jesus is another disgusting character attempting to hide his evil as good.  If you need God/Jesus to be good, you are one of the scariest individuals on Earth.

Leviticus 20:9

For this week’s Crazy Bible Verse I head back to the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.  Leviticus is an entire chapter of crazy, but today I focus specifically on verse 9 of chapter 20.

“Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.” – Leviticus 20:9

This is a direct quote from God in the Bible.  It states that anyone who curses their mother or father is to be put to death.  That includes a 7 year old who gets upset and yells “I hate you” at their mom or dad.  That 7 year old, in the eyes of God, must now be murdered.  It’s God’s law!  Christians worship this god?  Wow!

Let’s think about this further.  Name a child who hasn’t cursed their mother or father at some point?  I can’t.  Every child gets upset at times and curses their parents.  According to God, all of these children should be put to death.  God is promoting genocide of the human race!  Now that’s some crazy!

Leviticus 20:15

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse brings us God’s word on having sex with animals.

“If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal.” – Leviticus 20:15

First of all, I find it funny that God takes time to send out a command on having sex with animals, but pays little attention to slaves, raping, killing of children, etc.  Let’s dig in to this verse.

I agree that people should not have sex with animals.  The animals cannot offer consent and that is the key problem with having sex with animals.  Therefore there should be some sort of punishment for this act.  Should it be death?  I’m against the death penalty so my answer is no.  I’m not sure what an appropriate penalty is, but I agree there should be some punishment.  Just not death.

Here’s the crazy part, however.  Why is the animal killed?  The animal didn’t consent!  The animal didn’t commit a crime.  The animal is the victim!  For being the victim the animal gets killed!  WTF!?!?!  The blaming of the victim is a huge problem in religion and a huge problem in society today.  Think about all the times rape victims are criticized for what they wore or how they acted.  Who cares what a woman wears?!?!?  No matter what she (or he wears) should have no bearing on whether they are raped.  Rape is rape regardless of what one wears.  It is wrong and a crime regardless of what one wears.  Stop blaming the victim!  And stop putting raped animals to death!

Leviticus 19:19

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday verse is one you’ve likely heard before.  It’s not necessarily as crazy or harmful as others, but is crazy when compared with other verses Christians follow literally.

“Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.” – Leviticus 19:19

God makes it very clear that we are not to wear clothing woven of two kinds of materials.  Obviously no one follows this law today.  Look at the shirt you’re wearing right now.  Maybe it’s 100% cotton, but there’s a good chance there’s a mix of polyester, silk, cotton, and other materials.  Even if your shirt is made from one and only one material, what about your pants?  Your socks?  Your underwear?  Are they the same material?  Very likely not.

The law itself is absolute nonsense and just one of many silly verses in the Bible Christians don’t follow.  What makes it crazier though is when Christians use the chapter that precedes this one (Leviticus 18) and the chapter that follows this one (Leviticus 20) to condemn homosexuality.  Yet these same Christians ignore the command of wearing two kinds of material in their clothing.  What’s even worse, Christians will also ignore Leviticus 19:28 which states one should not have tattoos.

So let’s get this straight.  Verses in Leviticus condemning homosexuality should be followed.  Verses in Leviticus condemning clothing made from two materials should not be followed.  Got it.  No, wait, I don’t because I’m not a bigot.

Leviticus 12:5

Both the New Testament and Old Testament are filled with their fair share of crazy, but for this Tuesday’s Crazy Bible Verse, I head back into the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.

“If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.” – Leviticus 12:5

This particular chapter discusses how to purify oneself after childbirth.  To purify after the birth of a daughter, the woman must wait two weeks to become clean and then 66 days to be purified.  Why is this crazy?  Because right before this it is discussed that a woman who gives birth to a SON only has to wait 7 days to be clean and 33 days to be purified.

The simple act of bearing a daughter instead of a son doubles the time to be clean and purified.  Don’t you just love the misogyny in the Bible?  Whoever thought that a baby born without a penis could require a mother to wait double the time to become clean and pure again?  Sigh.

Leviticus 26:29

For this week’s crazy Bible verse I continue with the theme of God commanding the killing of children.  Morbid?  Yes.  Biblically accurate?  Also yes.

“You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters.” – Leviticus 26:29

This is not the only verse in the Bible discussing the eating of children.  I previously discussed Jeremiah 19:9 on a crazy bible verse Tuesday.

There’s not much to say here.  The crazy is quite obvious.  This verse is in response to God commanding you to obey him.  If you don’t, he will make you eat your children.  Which is funny as yesterday I discussed Deuteronomy 24 in which God says:

“Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.” – Deuteronomy 24:16

I guess eating your children is exempt from this command.  🙂

Review of Leviticus

I recently finished discussing the last chapter of Leviticus.  I started Leviticus on September 30 and finished it on November 30.  Two months for a full chapter?  Not too bad!  Let’s do a quick recap of Leviticus before moving on to the next chapter, Numbers.

The Israelites have been led out of Egypt by Moses and Leviticus begins with the rules that the Israelites must follow.  The rules come from God, but God doesn’t speak directly to the Israelites.  God speaks through Moses who passes the rules down to the Israelites.  As far as the Israelites know, Moses is making these rules up.  They have no evidence of God.

A few of the rules are good rules that every society should have.  Helping the poor and not taking advantage of each other are good rules that appear in Leviticus (although these really just refer to the year of Jubilee).  Other rules however, are not good.  Women being worth less than men is not a good rule.  Treating a person with damaged testicles with less respect is not a good rule.  Disobeying the petty rules and being kicked out of the town or put to death is not a good rule!

Leviticus is a great chapter to test on Christians.  Do they agree with these rules?  Do they follow these rules?  Most people find these rules ridiculous and to the credit of Christians, they don’t follow or agree with most of these rules.  However, too often the same Christians who argue those rules are not to be followed in today’s society condemn homosexuality and point to Leviticus 18:22.  It’s not okay to pick and choose which Bible verses to follow based on convenience or based on apologizing away the things you don’t agree with and keeping the things you do.

Leviticus basically taught us the importance of obeying God in everything He says.  It doesn’t matter how crazy or ridiculous the rule is, one must follow God or suffer horribly.

Next up is Numbers!  Can’t wait!  I really mean that!  I’ve had fun reading through the Bible and writing on each chapter at the same time.  Moving on to a new chapter is always interesting.

Leviticus – Chapter 27: Redeeming What Is the Lord’s

Leviticus continues although each chapter is basically the same.  God hands down rules.  A few rules make sense and are good rules, but most are petty rules with ridiculous consequences.  Let’s see what Leviticus 27 brings us.  Will it be anything good?  This is, after all, the very last chapter of Leviticus!  Did the authors and God save the best for last?

“If anyone makes a special vow to dedicate a person to the Lord by giving the equivalent value, set the value of a male between the ages of twenty and sixty at fifty shekels of silver, according to the sanctuary shekel; for a female, set her value at thirty shekels; for a person between the ages of five and twenty, set the value of a male at twenty shekels and of a female at ten shekels; for a person between one month and five years, set the value of a male at five shekels of silver and that of a female at three shekels of silver; for a person sixty years old or more, set the value of a male at fifteen shekels and of a female at ten shekels.” – Leviticus 27:2-7

It’s no mystery the Bible is full of misogyny, but these verses show the Bible states that men are literally worth more than women!  Men are twice as valuable as women!!!  Wow!  Why was this never discussed in church?  If you are too poor, you can give up livestock, a house, property, etc.

“If anyone making the vow is too poor to pay the specified amount, the person being dedicated is to be presented to the priest, who will set the value according to what the one making the vow can afford.” – Leviticus 27:8

In other words you’d better be on the good side of the priest for he is the one who will determine what you owe!

“A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord; it is holy to the Lord.” – Leviticus 27:30

In addition to all of the rules, one must give a tithe (tenth of what you own) to the Lord.  The Lord does a great job of taking from the poor and giving to the rich.

“Whoever would redeem any of their tithe must add a fifth of the value to it.” – Leviticus 27:31

To redeem what you are required to give to the Lord you must add a fifth of the value to it!  That’s another 2%, so you are really required to give 12% to the Lord for redemption.

The most alarming thing in this chapter is the Bible (and according to the Bible these are the words of God) telling the Israelites that men are worth more than women.  The Bible makes no apologies, women are worth half that of men.  So if you consider misogyny a good thing, well, you can probably argue that the authors and God did save the best for last in Leviticus.

Coming Soon:  Numbers – Chapter 1:  The Census

Leviticus – Chapter 26: Reward for Obedience

In the last chapter of Leviticus we learned (again) that God supports slavery.  Leviticus 26 brings us the reward for obedience.  Reward?  Sweet!  Let’s find out what it is!

“If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees their fruit.” – Leviticus 26:3-4

I guess that means that people living in drought or flood stricken regions of the planet are not obeying God’s commands.  If they were, they’d have the appropriate amount of rain, right?  Or science.  I’m going with science.

“I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid.” – Leviticus 26:6

So no one is obeying God?  There is conflict and fear in all lands.  God has apparently decided none of the lands are obeying to His standards for Him to removes the fear.

“I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people.” – Leviticus 26:12

Except God has NEVER shown himself to the Israelites, aside from Moses and possibly Aaron, so we are told.

“But if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands, and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, then I will do this to you: I will bring on you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and sap your strength. You will plant seed in vain, because your enemies will eat it. I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you.” – Leviticus 26:14-17

Given this happens every day on Earth, God must have decided humans did not obey.

“I will send wild animals against you, and they will rob you of your children, destroy your cattle and make you so few in number that your roads will be deserted.” – Leviticus 26:22

Ah, the loving God kills innocent children once again.

“You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters.” – Leviticus 26:29

Who knew?  God likes zombies!!!  And once again sentences innocent children to death.

“But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their ancestors—their unfaithfulness and their hostility toward me, which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies—then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land.” – Leviticus 26:40-42

Too bad this didn’t apply to Job.

Leviticus 26 is a 46 verse chapter.  The first 13 verses focus on the reward of obedience and the final 33 focus on the punishment.  God is clearly focused on the negative of the situation.  If He created humans then He has the power to shape them.  If humans are disobeying God, God is the one to blame.  He’s never made Himself known to the people.  He speaks only through Moses so there’s no clear reason to believe God exists if you are an Israelite.  Picture yourself as a common Israelite.  All you hear is Moses tell the people to do this, do that.  Give me your animals, give me your food, and give me your money.  The people are supposed to have faith in what Moses says.  It doesn’t take a genius to determine the people are going to be skeptical and have a hard time following all of the senseless rules.

Coming Soon:  Leviticus – Chapter 27:  Redeeming What Is the Lord’s