Leviticus 25:44

The last couple of weeks of Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday focused on verses in which Jesus says in the New Testament that he supports and requires that everyone follow the laws of the Old Testament.  Let’s look at one of those Old Testament laws today.  I’ve discussed many already and there are hundreds, if not thousands to choose from.  Let me pick just one.

“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.” – Leviticus 25:44

The Bible is a moral book?  The Christian god is a moral god?  Supporting slavery is moral?  This is one of the Old Testament laws Jesus says he supports.  Jesus is not nice.  Jesus is not kind.  Jesus is not love.  Jesus is just as evil as the God of the Old Testament.  In case you are thinking slave means something else in the Bible, the Bible also makes it clear you can beat your slaves to near death (Exodus 21:20).  Moral?  Hardly.  The Bible is a disgusting book.  God is a disgusting character.  Jesus is another disgusting character attempting to hide his evil as good.  If you need God/Jesus to be good, you are one of the scariest individuals on Earth.

Leviticus 20:9

For this week’s Crazy Bible Verse I head back to the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.  Leviticus is an entire chapter of crazy, but today I focus specifically on verse 9 of chapter 20.

“Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.” – Leviticus 20:9

This is a direct quote from God in the Bible.  It states that anyone who curses their mother or father is to be put to death.  That includes a 7 year old who gets upset and yells “I hate you” at their mom or dad.  That 7 year old, in the eyes of God, must now be murdered.  It’s God’s law!  Christians worship this god?  Wow!

Let’s think about this further.  Name a child who hasn’t cursed their mother or father at some point?  I can’t.  Every child gets upset at times and curses their parents.  According to God, all of these children should be put to death.  God is promoting genocide of the human race!  Now that’s some crazy!

Leviticus 20:15

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse brings us God’s word on having sex with animals.

“If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal.” – Leviticus 20:15

First of all, I find it funny that God takes time to send out a command on having sex with animals, but pays little attention to slaves, raping, killing of children, etc.  Let’s dig in to this verse.

I agree that people should not have sex with animals.  The animals cannot offer consent and that is the key problem with having sex with animals.  Therefore there should be some sort of punishment for this act.  Should it be death?  I’m against the death penalty so my answer is no.  I’m not sure what an appropriate penalty is, but I agree there should be some punishment.  Just not death.

Here’s the crazy part, however.  Why is the animal killed?  The animal didn’t consent!  The animal didn’t commit a crime.  The animal is the victim!  For being the victim the animal gets killed!  WTF!?!?!  The blaming of the victim is a huge problem in religion and a huge problem in society today.  Think about all the times rape victims are criticized for what they wore or how they acted.  Who cares what a woman wears?!?!?  No matter what she (or he wears) should have no bearing on whether they are raped.  Rape is rape regardless of what one wears.  It is wrong and a crime regardless of what one wears.  Stop blaming the victim!  And stop putting raped animals to death!

Leviticus 19:19

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday verse is one you’ve likely heard before.  It’s not necessarily as crazy or harmful as others, but is crazy when compared with other verses Christians follow literally.

“Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.” – Leviticus 19:19

God makes it very clear that we are not to wear clothing woven of two kinds of materials.  Obviously no one follows this law today.  Look at the shirt you’re wearing right now.  Maybe it’s 100% cotton, but there’s a good chance there’s a mix of polyester, silk, cotton, and other materials.  Even if your shirt is made from one and only one material, what about your pants?  Your socks?  Your underwear?  Are they the same material?  Very likely not.

The law itself is absolute nonsense and just one of many silly verses in the Bible Christians don’t follow.  What makes it crazier though is when Christians use the chapter that precedes this one (Leviticus 18) and the chapter that follows this one (Leviticus 20) to condemn homosexuality.  Yet these same Christians ignore the command of wearing two kinds of material in their clothing.  What’s even worse, Christians will also ignore Leviticus 19:28 which states one should not have tattoos.

So let’s get this straight.  Verses in Leviticus condemning homosexuality should be followed.  Verses in Leviticus condemning clothing made from two materials should not be followed.  Got it.  No, wait, I don’t because I’m not a bigot.

Leviticus 12:5

Both the New Testament and Old Testament are filled with their fair share of crazy, but for this Tuesday’s Crazy Bible Verse, I head back into the Old Testament into the book of Leviticus.

“If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.” – Leviticus 12:5

This particular chapter discusses how to purify oneself after childbirth.  To purify after the birth of a daughter, the woman must wait two weeks to become clean and then 66 days to be purified.  Why is this crazy?  Because right before this it is discussed that a woman who gives birth to a SON only has to wait 7 days to be clean and 33 days to be purified.

The simple act of bearing a daughter instead of a son doubles the time to be clean and purified.  Don’t you just love the misogyny in the Bible?  Whoever thought that a baby born without a penis could require a mother to wait double the time to become clean and pure again?  Sigh.

Leviticus 26:29

For this week’s crazy Bible verse I continue with the theme of God commanding the killing of children.  Morbid?  Yes.  Biblically accurate?  Also yes.

“You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters.” – Leviticus 26:29

This is not the only verse in the Bible discussing the eating of children.  I previously discussed Jeremiah 19:9 on a crazy bible verse Tuesday.

There’s not much to say here.  The crazy is quite obvious.  This verse is in response to God commanding you to obey him.  If you don’t, he will make you eat your children.  Which is funny as yesterday I discussed Deuteronomy 24 in which God says:

“Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.” – Deuteronomy 24:16

I guess eating your children is exempt from this command.  🙂

Review of Leviticus

I recently finished discussing the last chapter of Leviticus.  I started Leviticus on September 30 and finished it on November 30.  Two months for a full chapter?  Not too bad!  Let’s do a quick recap of Leviticus before moving on to the next chapter, Numbers.

The Israelites have been led out of Egypt by Moses and Leviticus begins with the rules that the Israelites must follow.  The rules come from God, but God doesn’t speak directly to the Israelites.  God speaks through Moses who passes the rules down to the Israelites.  As far as the Israelites know, Moses is making these rules up.  They have no evidence of God.

A few of the rules are good rules that every society should have.  Helping the poor and not taking advantage of each other are good rules that appear in Leviticus (although these really just refer to the year of Jubilee).  Other rules however, are not good.  Women being worth less than men is not a good rule.  Treating a person with damaged testicles with less respect is not a good rule.  Disobeying the petty rules and being kicked out of the town or put to death is not a good rule!

Leviticus is a great chapter to test on Christians.  Do they agree with these rules?  Do they follow these rules?  Most people find these rules ridiculous and to the credit of Christians, they don’t follow or agree with most of these rules.  However, too often the same Christians who argue those rules are not to be followed in today’s society condemn homosexuality and point to Leviticus 18:22.  It’s not okay to pick and choose which Bible verses to follow based on convenience or based on apologizing away the things you don’t agree with and keeping the things you do.

Leviticus basically taught us the importance of obeying God in everything He says.  It doesn’t matter how crazy or ridiculous the rule is, one must follow God or suffer horribly.

Next up is Numbers!  Can’t wait!  I really mean that!  I’ve had fun reading through the Bible and writing on each chapter at the same time.  Moving on to a new chapter is always interesting.