Matthew 4:1

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is…crazy. 🙂

“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” – Matthew 4:1

So let’s get this straight. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. Nothing can trick him. He has a son, Jesus, who is also himself. Its own set of crazy. God then sends his son, himself, into the wilderness to be tempted by Satan as a test of his son, himself. Um…not the actions of an all-knowing and powerful god.

Matthew 6:17-18

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday. Since we’ve talked about fasting recently, let’s pull up a verse from the New Testament on fasting.

“But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:17-18

Christians are doing their fasting wrong! They need to pour oil on their heads while fasting! Although I’m not sure how an oil covered head makes it less obvious than an oil covered head. If I see someone with oil poured over their head, I’m going to notice whether they are fasting or not! Do you know what is not noticeable? Someone fasting! Unless they are telling you, you can’t tell if someone is fasting or not unless you specifically see them not eating at a meal.

Matthew 1:18-25

Twas the night before Christmas and it was Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! Today is a lovely story of love between a woman, a man, and the God that raped her.

“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about]: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel’ (which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” Matthew 1:18-25

Translation: Mary slept with another guy, which is entirely her choice, but Joseph is so clueless that he believes Mary’s story that she’s a virgin and just has no idea how she could possibly have become pregnant. 

Matthew 1:1

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today I’ve chosen the first verse in the New Testament.

“This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:” – Matthew 1:1

Why is this crazy? Well, it assumes there is a known genealogy of Jesus. It assumes a Jesus existed when there isn’t strong evidence that is the case. It assumes we have evidence the ancestors of Jesus, if he existed, existed. It assumes we have records, other than the Bible, that any of this ancestor list is true. You’d have to believe a donkey can talk in order to believe this genealogy presented in the Bible is correct.

Matthew 24:37

Last week we took a look at the not-so-nice version of Jesus in the Bible. Today in Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday, we look at another not-so-nice version of Jesus.

“As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” – Matthew 24:37

Jesus loves you, but he will express that love by killing everyone in a massive flood.

Matthew 10:34-36

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday! I’ve probably shared this previously on this blog, but it is a good one that shows that Jesus is not the nice, kind, friendly guy Christians make him out to be.

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father,  a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’” – Matthew 10:34-36

Jesus, the destroyer of families.

Matthew 1:18

This year Christmas and Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday are on the same day. Given the holiday, today’s verse on the virgin birth of Jesus is perfect!

“His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.” – 1 Matthew 1:18

I’ll be blunt. A virgin birth in humans in IMPOSSIBLE! Sorry, didn’t happen! Mary had sex with someone! Sorry Christians, you are simply wrong. If you believe a virgin birth happened, you have lost all critical thinking ability.

Matthew 19:29

The Bible is a book of values and morals, correct? That’s what Christians would have you believe, but if you read the Bible, you find very anti-family verses such as this one.

“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” – Matthew 19:29

The Bible actively encourages you to give up your family for a higher reward. Does it get more disgusting than that? That’s why Tuesdays are called Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday on this blog.

Matthew 27:51-53

Yes, it’s December and we are more than a month removed from Halloween, but there are so many zombie related verses in the Bible that I can’t stop just yet!  Thus for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday I bring you yet another verse on zombies in the Bible.

“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.” – Matthew 27:51-53

Zombies roaming the land!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Bible is an early attempt to introduce zombies in main stream entertainment culture.  😊

Matthew 27:51-53

Last week for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday I posted a verse on zombies in the Bible, in celebration of Halloween.  It’s a week after Halloween, but I think today deserves another verse on zombies.

“And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many.” – Matthew 27:51-53”

This happens just after the death of Jesus on the cross.  Jesus dies and zombies rise!!!  LOL!  You can’t make this shit up.  It’s in the Bible and Christians across the world believe the dead literally rose and started walking the Earth.  Not all Christians, mind you.  Many are skeptical enough to know the dead did not rise and become zombies.  They still believe Jesus rose from the dead, but at least they don’t believe the other dead rose.  Too many Christians, however, literally believe zombies walked the land.  Why?  Because the Bible, a book written by random men, says so.  No skeptical thought at all!  Any skeptical thinking will lead you to conclude zombies did not walk the land.