Proverbs 10:3

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse comes from the book of Proverbs.

“The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry, but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.” – Proverbs 10:3

See?  It’s easy to not go hungry.  Just be righteous and God will provide for you.  Then why are there all these poor, hungry people across the world.  Easy! They are wicked! If only they were righteous.

What a load of shit!  This is the problem with Christianity.  Those who suffer do so because they are not righteous in the eyes of the Lord.  It apparently has nothing to do with what one was born into. If only these poor, hungry people just became more righteous.  They’d suddenly find themselves with heaping plates of food. Fuck Christianity.

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Proverbs – Chapter 1: Purpose and Theme

Today we start the first chapter in the book of Proverbs and the title says it all.  We should expect to learn the purpose and theme of Proverbs in this chapter.

“for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight…” – Proverbs 1:2

LOL!  Wisdom and insight?  We’ve had none of that thus far in the Bible so I doubt Proverbs is the book to finally do it.

“…for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.” – Proverbs 1:6

Or you know, the Bible could do away with the parables and riddles and simply state without being ‘mysterious’.  Sheesh.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” – Proverbs 1:7

For fuck’s sake.  Fear is the beginning of knowledge?  Fuck you God. Fear is the beginning of child abuse.  

“My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them.” – Proverbs 1:10

Following this verse are several about harming people and stealing.  This is one of the very few worthwhile verses in the Bible. If there are truly those doing wrong asking you to join them, then yes, you should definitely say no.  But the Bible is not needed to gain this piece of wisdom.

I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you; I will mock when calamity overtakes you—” – Proverbs 1:26

This is in reference to wisdom being shared but one not listening to it.  What lesson does this teach? It teaches us to mock those that don’t immediately listen without questioning.  Maybe the wisdom should have been accepted, but a truly moral person, including a moral god, would still help those who didn’t listen the first time, not mock them.  Then again, this god of the Bible is not a moral god.

“Then they will call to me but I will not answer;  they will look for me but will not find me, since they hated knowledged did not choose to fear the Lord.” – Proverbs 1:28-29

How Christian of you!  Instead of helping, you mock.  And again, it’s back to needing to fear God to understand.  Bullshit. Fear is the tool of a child abuser.

What did we learn in Proverbs 1?  There is one verse on doing the right thing, but later in the chapter this is followed up by mocking and harming those who don’t listen to you the first time.  Sigh. Violence, mocking, bullying…all biblical ‘morals’.

Coming Soon:  Proverbs – Chapter 2:  Moral Benefits of Wisdom

Introduction to Proverbs

Next week I’ll begin a discussion on the book of Proverbs.  When I looked up Proverbs, I found it is described as a book of Biblical wisdom tradition.  Um…biblical and wisdom in the same sentence? LOL! Anyways, Proverbs is supposed to talk about morality.  That should be good to hear. The Bible and morality are not exactly two words you want to see next to each other.  Morality in the Bible is too often along the lines of “kill whoever is not exactly like you.” The authorship of much of Proverbs is credited to Solomon, but then again, there’s really no evidence.

Will Proverbs break tradition in the Bible and teach us some actual morals that improve society?  We’ll find out, but don’t hold your breath.

Proverbs 5:19

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!  The Bible has quite a bit to say on sex, most of it completely ridiculous.  That includes today’s verse from the book of Proverbs.  Proverbs 5 is a warning against adultery and contains this verse:

“A loving doe, a graceful deer-may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” – Proverbs 5:19

First, if this verse refers to an actual deer, that’s fucking weird.  Second, assuming it refers to a woman, why focus on the breasts?  May her breasts satisfy you always?  What about her mind?  What about her sense of humor?  What about the fact she’s a fucking human being and not just a pair of boobs?!?!

Once again, horrible advice from the Bible, but maybe this really is a verse about deer boobs?!?!  😊

Proverbs 23:26-28

For this week’s Crazy Bible Verse I went looking for misogyny.  It wasn’t hard to find as 30 seconds later I had a verse I haven’t discussed yet and I’ve discussed MANY misogynistic verses.  This one is from the book of Proverbs.

“My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways, for an adulterous woman is a deep pit, and a wayward wife is a narrow well. Like a bandit she lies in wait and multiplies the unfaithful among men.” – Proverbs 23:26-28

Damn the women.  Men would remain righteous and faithful to the Lord if only women weren’t there to force them into evil ways!  Men would remain innocent if women didn’t trick them into immorality.  LOL!  Yes, the evils of men are blamed on women in the Bible.  That should tell you all there is to know about morality in the Bible.  Men = good.  Women = evil.  Disgusting.  How any woman or any man who cares about women can believe in what the Bible says is beyond me.  It is anything but moral.

Proverbs 30:17

The last three crazy Bible verse Tuesdays have dealt with talking animals (two donkeys (okay, really one donkey discussed in the OT and again in NT) and one snake).  Today I switch topics from talking animals to killing children.

“The eye that mocks a father, that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.” – Proverbs 30:17

The Christian apologist will say that the Bible is not really telling us to kill children who mock and/or disobey their parents.  The apologist will say this is a metaphor to stress the importance of honoring mothers and fathers.  Maybe this is true IF this were the only verse in the Bible suggesting children should be killed for disobeying their parents.  Unfortunately there are MANY verses in the Bible commanding the death of children.  This is one of them.  I’m not sure what’s better, death by stoning death or death by vultures?  Hmmmm.

Proverbs 13:24

I have no doubt that parenting is tough.  Raising a child is most certainly a very difficult task, possibly the most difficult task an adult can take on.  Fortunately the Bible has just the advice that all parents need!

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24

No parent intends to or wants to hate their children.  Therefore, all parents must be very careful to NOT spare the rod!!!  In other words, it is biblically moral of you to beat your child.  Discipline, through a good beating, means that you love your children!

I know, I know.  You’re probably thinking that makes no sense at all, but it’s in the Bible!!!  Therefore it is the absolute truth.  All those parents out there not beating their children very clearly hate their children.  Let’s take a moment to pray for all the unbeaten children is this world for they must live every single day knowing their parents hate them!!!  You can’t make this stuff up!  It’s in the Bible!  Just open it up and begin reading!