Recap of Proverbs

I recently finished discussing the last chapter of Proverbs so let me do a quick recap before moving back into 1 Kings. Proverbs is supposed to be a book of wisdom, but the supposed wisdom falls into two categories:

1. Things that are good, but don’t require religiosity to follow. For example, there was a verse telling us not to steal from our parents. Religion isn’t needed to know that. In fact, if you need religion to know it is bad to steal, you are disturbed in a serious manner.
2. Things that are just awful. Beating children, for example. This book of wisdom seriously tells us it is important to beat your child with a rod because undisciplined children are a disgrace. Beating your children with a rod? Beating your children with anything? If you do this because the Bible tells you to, you should be locked up in jail.

To conclude, there’s no wisdom in the book of Proverbs that a secular society doesn’t already teach you.

Proverbs – Chapter 31: Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

This is it, the last chapter of Proverbs! Upon finishing this chapter we will have received all wisdom God has to offer us. Yes, some of that wisdom is beating children, but we all have to remember that God works in mysterious ways. If he tells us to beat children, then we must beat children! 🙂

“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” – Proverbs 31:1

What is it with inspired utterances in the Bible?

“Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.” – Proverbs 31:7

Here’s some real advice. Instead of letting the poor drink away their sorrows, how about using your power as king to actually help them out of poverty?

“Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” – Proverbs 31:9

Okay, this is good, but it doesn’t mean much when it comes right after a verse on letting the poor drink their sorrows away.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10

The Bible treats women as property that hold some value. Sigh.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

Again, the Bible declares it noble of character to fear God. No. A god who demands your fear is an evil god.

Did we gain any wisdom in this chapter? Nope. More of the same. Fear the lord and you will gain true wisdom. Sorry, but fear does not lead to wisdom. Fear is a symptom of abuse and the god of the Bible is the greatest abuser of them all.

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 5: Preparations for Building the Temple

Proverbs – Chapter 30: Sayings of Agur

Two more chapters to go and we are finally done with this book of ‘wisdom’.

“The sayings of Agur son of Jakeh—an inspired utterance.” – Proverbs 30:1

An inspired utterance?

“Every word of God is flawless;” – Proverbs 30:5

Including those about beating children, which we learned about in the last chapter.

“The eye that mocks a father,  that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley,  will be eaten by the vultures.” – Proverbs 30:17

Given every child says not so nice things to their parents at some time, why aren’t we all running around with no eyes? Should not the ravens have pecked them out by now?

“There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky,  the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a young woman.” – Proverbs 30:18-19

I’m sorry, but these are the things that confuse you? Not God’s command to rape and murder?

“This is the way of an adulterous woman:  She eats and wipes her mouth  and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” – Proverbs 30:20

Why is it always an adulterous woman and not an adulterous man?

Ug…there are a few more verses on various items that make no real sense. Certainly not a list of items by which we are to gain wisdom.

Coming Soon: Proverbs – Chapter 31: Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs – Chapter 29: Untitled

Three more chapters in Proverbs to go. Then we’ll be as wise as the wisest, right? 🙂

“The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.” – Proverbs 29:7

The Bible tells us the entire Republican party is wicked.

“The bloodthirsty hate a person of integrity and seek to kill the upright.” – Proverbs 29:10

This verse describes the bloodthirsty god of the Bible perfectly.

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.” – Proverbs 29:15

This verse tells us it is righteous to beat children with a rod. In fact, to not beat your child is a disgrace to the mother. WTF? This isn’t a book of morals, it’s a book on how to commit child abuse.

“Servants cannot be corrected by mere words; though they understand, they will not respond.” – Proverbs 29:19

Hear that Christians? Words are not enough. God tells us it is okay to beat your slaves. WTF? Again, not a book of morals.

“A servant pampered from youth   will turn out to be insolent.” – Proverbs 29:21

God wants you to make sure you treat your slave like shit.

Wow! What a disgusting chapter of bullshit! Beat your children? Beat your slaves? This is the book of morals Christians live by? Yikes! The Bible is a horrible book, not a book to live your life by.

Coming Soon: Proverbs – Chapter 30: Sayings of Agur

Proverbs – Chapter 28: Untitled

We want wisdom! We want wisdom! We want wisdom! Wisdom is what Proverbs supposedly provides us, but I haven’t found any wisdom that wasn’t already known in a secular manner. In fact, we saw in the last chapter how part of this ‘wisdom’ was complaining about wives who question their husbands. Sigh. So let’s see what kind of ‘wisdom’ today’s chapter has in store for us.

“A ruler who oppresses the poor  is like a driving rain that leaves no crops.” – Proverbs 28:3

Right now in the U.S., the administration is led by a political party whose goal is to oppress the poor. This same party is loved by Christians. Maybe Christians should read their Bible.

“Those who forsake instruction praise the wicked,  but those who heed it resist them.” – Proverbs 28:4

And what if that instruction is to cage children and separate them from their parents? Is that moral? Waiting for an answer, Christians.

“When the righteous triumph, there is great elation;   but when the wicked rise to power, people go into hiding.” – Proverbs 28:12

Wrong. We are seeing right now in the U.S., where the wicked have risen to power, that people are not going into hiding. They are taking the street in hundreds of thousands to millions to protest the wicked actions of this administration.

“Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.” – Proverbs 28:14

A god who demands your fear should not be worshipped. A book that says your fear will be blessed is a book that should be ignored.

“The one whose walk is blameless is kept safe,  but the one whose ways are perverse will fall into the pit.” – Proverbs 28:18

So anyone who is harmed in any way just wasn’t good enough in the eyes of God? Seriously? If that’s the case, this is a disgusting god.

“The greedy stir up conflict,  but those who trust in the Lord will prosper.” – Proverbs 28:25

Will they though? Plenty of people who put their full trust in the Lord continue to suffer. They never see prosperity. Oh wait, I bet they just didn’t pray hard enough did they?

Another chapter in Proverbs that doesn’t offer much wisdom. There are a few verses that make sense, but the Bible isn’t needed to know these things. For example, Proverbs 28:24 says you should not rob your mother or father. Duh. If someone needs a Bible to know this, they are seriously disturbed.

Coming Soon: Proverbs – Chapter 29: Untitled

Proverbs – Chapter 27: Untitled

We are coming close to the end of Proverbs, but still have a few more chapters. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs and today we are taking a look at Chapter 27. This book of wisdom has brought us very little, if any, wisdom, but maybe the last few chapters will surprise us. We can always hope, right?

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” – Proverbs 27:1

Yeah, I can buy this. One can never truly know what tomorrow will bring. This is why my philosophy is to do what you enjoy. Don’t spend time trying to live up to all of God’s silly rules when there is no evidence God exists, let alone any god. Live to be happy, not to satisfy a non-existent god.

“Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.” – Proverbs 27:2

And I can buy this too. I prefer letting others praise me instead of boasting about my own accomplishments to others. If I’m really accomplishing something, others will say so without me informing them first.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” – Proverbs 27:4

God should take this advice. He’s far too jealous in the Bible.

“If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” – Proverbs 27:14

How dare you bless me at 7 in the morning! Now you shall feel the full wrath of God’s fury!

“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;  restraining her is like restraining the wind   or grasping oil with the hand.” – Proverbs 27:15-16

This is advice? Here’s some real advice. Show your wife respect.

An odd chapter that offers some reasonable advice at the beginning but then complains that wives are always nagging and quarrelsome. Just when the Bible starts to turn the corner and offer some wisdom, it reverts back to attacking women.  Sigh.

Coming Soon: Proverbs – Chapter 28: Untitled

Proverbs – Chapter 26: Untitled

After a brief hiatus I am back and ready to dig further into what Christians call “the book of morals”. 🙂 Today we look at Proverbs 26.

“As a dog returns to its vomit,   so fools repeat their folly.” – Proverbs 26:11

LOL! The Bible compares a fool to a dog eating vomit. Um…sure.

“A sluggard says, “There’s a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!” – Proverbs 26:13

I’ve never heard anyone say this, let alone a sluggard.

And I’ll leave things at that. Every verse in this chapter is a comparison between a fool and something. Most make little sense, but then again, neither does the Bible. Basically the moral of this chapter is to obey God in everything, don’t ask questions, just listen. Question at all and you are a fool. Here is my advice. Question everything and demand evidence!

Coming Soon: Proverbs – Chapter 27: Untitled

 

Proverbs – Chapter 25: Untitled

I am becoming so wise from reading Proverbs.  I now know it is wise to beat your children and then eat some honey.  Without the Bible I wouldn’t know these are things wise people do! I can’t wait to gain more wisdom from Proverbs 25.

“If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.” – Proverbs 25:16

Thank God the Bible make this clear!  I want a few moments to relax after beating my children so I definitely don’t want to eat too much honey and find myself vomiting!

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 25:24

Do you hear that men?  Make sure your woman understands the house rules, for if she talks back to you, you’ll be forced to live on your roof.  WTF!

“It is not good to eat too much honey…” – Proverbs 25:27

Just in case you missed the earlier verse in this chapter warning not to eat too much honey.  

So what have we learned?  Beating your children? Good in the eyes of God.  Eating honey? Also good in the eyes of God as long as you don’t eat too much.  Biblical wisdom at its finest.

Coming Soon:  Proverbs – Chapter 26:  Untitled

Proverbs – Chapter 24: Untitled

After two chapters in a row in which the Bible tells us the importance of beating our children, we move on to what I’d like to say is a chapter with no child beating, but I wouldn’t be surprised if child beating takes focus once again.  That’s the Bible for you.

“If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!” – Proverbs 24:10

You faltered?  You fucking weakling!

“Eat honey, my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.” – Proverbs 24:13

OMG! Let me explain why I find this so funny.  Two of the thirty sayings tell you to beat your child.  Then this one tells you to eat honey. LOL! Such a drastic change in focus!

“Do not say, ‘I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.’” – Proverbs 24:29

The god of Exodus 21:24 disagrees with this god.  An eye for an eye.

So what did we learn in this chapter?  After beating your child, make sure you eat your honey!  It will make your bones grow strong. 🙂 SMH. What a book full of bullshit.

Coming Soon:  Proverbs – Chapter 25:  Untitled

Proverbs – Chapter 23: Untitled

Still several chapters of Proverbs to go.  The Bible is not yet done giving us ‘wisdom’.  Without the Bible we wouldn’t understand the necessity of beating our kids with rods!  So let’s read on very carefully so we come away with true wisdom gained.

“You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments.” – Proverbs 23:8

Um…okay.

“Do not move an ancient boundary stone…” – Proverbs 23:10

This is a repeat of a previous saying.  SMH.

“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.” – Proverbs 23:13

Another repeat.  The Bible thinks it is soooo important to beat your child that it repeats the instruction multiple times.  God says it is moral to beat your child.

“…for an adulterous woman is a deep pit…” – Proverbs 23:27

Another repeated saying.  

Thirty sayings of the wise my ass!  Half of the sayings are repeated. I realize I’m not taking the time to do an official, but there might be twenty or so distinct sayings of the wise and one of them is beating your kid!  The Bible says you need to beat your kid to save him/her from death. Seriously? Christians…please read your Bible. Do you really find this book and this god moral?

Coming Soon:  Proverbs – Chapter 24:  Untitled