Psalm – Chapter 132: A song of ascents.

Today is the last chapter in Psalms (for now) before we move back to 2 Samuel.

“I will allow no sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, till I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.” – Psalm 105:4-5

No sleep?  Then you’ll probably die due to not sleeping.

“For the sake of your servant David, do not reject your anointed one.” – Psalm 105:10

WTF?  For the sake of David?  David is surely guilty of many offenses, but he should not be punished because someone else rejects God.  But then again, we know God is not a just god.  He too often punishes the innocent and lets the guilty go free.

“…her poor I will satisfy with food.” – Psalm 105:15

And then there were no poor ever again in the history of the Universe!  Sarcasm off.

That’s about it for this chapter.  There are a few other verses on the things God will do to the people of David and their enemies, but it is all more of the same.  Praise me and follow all my rules and you’ll be fine, but if you do one thing wrong, I will punish you horribly.  Oh, and I’ll also harden the hearts of your enemies, forcing them to hate you and making your lives miserable.  Praise me.

Coming Soon:  2 Samuel – Chapter 7:  God’s Promise to David

Psalm – Chapter 105: Untitled

Yes, I know you’re getting sick of Psalms, but bear with me.  Two more chapters and then we move back to 2 Samuel.

“Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced…” – Psalm 105:5

What miracles?  The order to kill hundreds of thousands?  The order to keep slaves?  The order to force a woman to marry her rapist?

“When they were but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in it, they wandered from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another.” – Psalm 105:12-13

Yes, but why did they wander from nation to nation?  Because God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians who then forced the Israelites to flee.  This doesn’t happen without God first putting the Israelites in harm’s way.

“…whose hearts he turned to hate his people, to conspire against his servants.” – Psalm 105:25

Exactly!  God turned those hearts to hate.  Not the people.  The people were forced to hate by God.

“Then he struck down all the firstborn in their land, the firstfruits of all their manhood.” – Psalm 105:36

This is a re-telling of all the things God did to the Egyptians during the time of Moses.  It again shows us how unjust God really is in the Bible.  The firstborn are killed, including the babies.  Innocents are killed because of God’s bloodlust.

“Praise the Lord.” – Psalm 105:45

No god who brings hate to the world is worthy of Praise.

That concludes Psalm 105.  Much of this chapter was a re-telling of the supposed good things God has done up to the point of David.  However, all of it starts with God bringing hate into the world and hardening hearts, forcing the people to hate each other.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 132:  A song of ascents.

Psalm – Chapter 101: Of David. A psalm.

Sick of the book of Psalms yet?  If so, I have some bad news for you as we’re taking a look at another chapter in Psalms today.

“I will be careful to lead a blameless life—when will you come to me?” – Psalm 101:2

Really David?  You murder and chop off dick tips all the time.  You also marry multiple wives and take even more concubines.  Are you really being careful to lead a blameless life?

“I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it.” – Psalm 101:3

You hate what faithless people do, but you kill innocents because God says so.  Right.

“I will have nothing to do with what is evil.” – Psalm 101:4

Except for murder and dick chopping.

“Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence…” – Psalm 101:5

Put to silence?  Sounds like a death threat to me.  And for what?  Slander.  Is slander really death worthy?

“No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house…” – Psalm 101:7

I guess this means David is moving out of his own house!

“I will cut off every evildoer from the city of the Lord.” – Psalm 101:8

Start with yourself, David.

To sum up this chapter, David argues against evildoers, completely forgetting that he is the biggest evildoer of them all!  David murders.  David chops off dick tips.  David marries multiple women, likely out of their control.  David takes concubines.  A good and moral man?  ROFL!  He’s the exact opposite of good and moral.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 105:  Untitled

Psalm – Chapter 100: A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

Today’s chapter, Psalm 100, is a very short chapter with just five verses, so let’s jump right in and see what it has to offer us.

“Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” – Psalm 100:2

No thanks.  I do not worship those who murder.

“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” – Psalm 100:5

Someone who is good does not demand to be feared.  Someone who loves does not murder and rape innocents.

Did this chapter have much to offer?  Nope, very little we haven’t already heard.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 101:  Of David. A psalm.

Psalm – Chapter 96: Untitled

A few more chapters in Psalms before moving on.  Today we look into Psalm 96.

“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth.” – Psalm 96:1

I like big butts and I cannot lie…wait, wrong song?  😊

“Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.” – Psalm 96:2

Nope.  I do not, nor will I ever, praise a murderer.

“For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.” – Psalm 96:4

Someone to be feared is not someone worthy of praise.

“The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved…” – Psalm 96:10

The Earth moves around the Sun.  Sigh.

Another chapter in Psalms in which we are told to fear this god and then praise him.  Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.  The two do not go hand in hand.  Fear should never be associated with praise.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 100:  A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

Psalm – Chapter 89: A maskil of Ethan the Ezrahite.

The start of the work week begins with a discussion of another chapter in the book of Psalms.  Today we look at Psalm 89.

“I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself.” – Psalm 89:2

That’s great until God gets mad at you for breaking one of his silly rules or touching his stuff.

“For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord? Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?” – Psalm 89:6

Well, clouds are pretty cool.  They come in many shapes and sizes and do some amazing stuff (thunder and lightning) during storms!

“In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared; he is more awesome than all who surround him.” – Psalm 89:7

Ug.  Stop referring to the fearing of God as a good thing!  It’s not.  It’s a form of child abuse.

“You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them.” – Psalm 89:9

This is basic weather, not a god.

“Your arm is endowed with power; your hand is strong, your right hand exalted.” – Psalm 89:13

I think the Bible just described God as the great masturbator.  😊

“They rejoice in your name all day long; they celebrate your righteousness.” – Psalm 89:16

Sounds like a very unproductive society!

“I have found David my servant; with my sacred oil I have anointed him.” – Psalm 89:20

After hardening Saul’s heart and tossing him away as God’s favored boy.

My faithful love will be with him, and through my name his horn will be exalted.” – Psalm 89:24

Um…an exalted…horn?!?!  God is making a porn right now!

“I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.” – Psalm 89:32-33

Sorry, but you can’t claim you still love your child after beating them with a rod!

“How long, Lord? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your wrath burn like fire?” – Psalm 89:46

Given there is no evidence of God’s existence I’m going to say he’ll remain hidden forever.

“Praise be to the Lord forever!” – Psalm 89:52

Nope.  I will never praise a god who promotes hatred and evil in this world.

Another chapter in the book of Psalms checked off the list.  I couldn’t help but find a few porn references in this chapter.  At times it is too easy.  😊  That added a bit of excitement to the standard God is super duper great stuff we are now used to in Psalms.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 96:  Untitled

Chapter 68: For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. A song.

Today’s chapter is another in the book of Psalms.  Man are there a lot chapters in this book!

“May God arise, may his enemies be scattered; may his foes flee before him.” – Psalm 68:1

God’s enemies were created by him.  God hardens hearts and brought evil into the world.  Evil did not exist without its introduction by God.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” – Psalm 68:5

There would be fewer fatherless and fewer widows if God had not set the nations at war with each other.  Is war God’s way of setting up the story to say “Hey, look at me, I’m helping all the widows???”

“The chariots of God are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands; the Lord has come from Sinai into his sanctuary.” – Psalm 68:17

If God has all these chariots, why doesn’t he use these in battle instead of killing men and women?  Or better yet, don’t allow war to happen!

“Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.” – Psalm 68:20

Unless, of course, you are Job’s family.  They were destroyed in God’s bet with Satan.

“Scatter the nations who delight in war.” – Psalm 68:30

Already done when you hardened the hearts of the Egyptians and forced the Israelites into lands already occupied by others.

“Praise be to God!” – Psalms 68:35

No thanks.  I don’t praise those who murder innocents.

There are 100+ chapters in the book of Psalms with most praising God.  Was it necessary for this many chapters repeating the same thing over and over.  God is mighty.  God is great.  Except he’s not and the previous chapters and upcoming chapters prove this.  God brings evil into the world.  God hardens hearts.  God sets nations at war.  God kills.  God murders.  God rapes.  No, not a great god at all.

Coming Soon:  Psalm – Chapter 89: A maskil of Etan the Ezrahite.