Revelation 21:16

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we learn that heaven has a finite size.

“The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long.” – Revelation 21:16

The city in question is a city in the sky, otherwise known as heaven. One stadia is 607 feet. Converting this to a square area in miles squared gives a city that is about 1.9 million square miles. That may seem large, but the United States is about 3.8 million square millions, meaning heaven is about half the size of the U.S.? Seems there will be a space problem if every Christian in all of history is supposed to go to heaven. Are there rent control policies in place?

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Revelation 22:20

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse focuses on the return of Jesus.

He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.” – Revelation 22:20

This is crazy because it is now supposedly 2000 years after the time of Jesus and we are still waiting. The Bible’s version of ‘quickly’ is well, not quickly. 🙂

Revelation 17:16

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and for the second week in a row I’ve pulled a verse from the last book of the Bible, Revelation.

“The beast and the ten horns you saw will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire.” – Revelation 17:16

Um…okay.  A beast with ten horns is going to come down and eat the flush and burn a prostitute?  Murderers, rapists, and child abusers…meh.  But prostitutes?  Bring out the ten horned beast to eat her flesh!!!  Seriously Christians?  You believe this shit?  Sigh.

Revelation 22:18-19

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s two verses basically state that anyone who alters the Bible will go to Hell.  Hmmm.

“I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.” – Revelation 22:18-19

There are only two verses after this in the Bible.  The two above make it clear you are not to alter the Bible in any way, which is interesting given the chapters in the Bible were picked over others that were left out.  Even more interesting when you see that different versions of the Bible have different ways of saying things and some chapters are even different!  And what does this mean for interpretation?  Interpret it the wrong way and you go to Hell?  Hmm.  My takeaway is these verses just go to show the ridiculousness of the Bible.  Very little of it makes sense, including a couple of the very last verses in the book.

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s two verses basically state that anyone who alters the Bible will go to Hell.  Hmmm.

 

“I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.” – Revelation 22:18-19

 

There are only two verses after this in the Bible.  The two above make it clear you are not to alter the Bible in any way, which is interesting given the chapters in the Bible were picked over others that were left out.  Even more interesting when you see that different versions of the Bible have different ways of saying things and some chapters are even different!  And what does this mean for interpretation?  Interpret it the wrong way and you go to Hell?  Hmm.  My takeaway is these verses just go to show the ridiculousness of the Bible.  Very little of it makes sense, including a couple of the very last verses in the book.

Revelation 22:15

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse comes from the book of Revelation.

“Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” – Revelation 22:15

The book of Revelation describes the end of times and lays out what is needed to get to heaven.  In this verse, those who practice magic, do the sex in the wrong way, and do other bad things, won’t make it to heaven.  In addition, anyone who practices falsehood, or in other words lies, doesn’t make it to heaven.  Um…everyone lies.  Some lies are small, some are big.  Some are even unintentional.  Kids lie all the time.  It’s part of growing up.  So if no one who lies can make it to heaven, who actually goes to heaven?  No one!  Hell, even Jesus lied!  He said he would return in the lifetime of those alive at the time and he didn’t!  Jesus is a liar.  Not even Jesus makes it to heaven according to this verse.  That leaves two options.  Either heaven doesn’t exist or it’s an empty place inhabited by no one.  Hmmm.

Revelation 20:4-5

Guess what?  We’re not done with zombies in the Bible.  It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and once again, I’ve pulled a verse about zombies.

“They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. (The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection.” – Revelation 20:4-5

More zombies!!!  I’m beginning to think the Bible is less an attempt to convert the masses and more just some dude’s attempt to write the next great horror novel.  😊

Revelation 8:10

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is a great example of bad science in the Bible.

“The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water.” Revelation 8:10

How do we know this is bad science?  Well, for starters, we’re still here.  If a star fell from the sky and struck Earth, Earth would be completely vaporized and wiped from existence.  It’s that simple!  Consider the Sun.  The Sun is so big that it would take 1.3 million Earths to fill it.  Wow!  And some stars are bigger than the Sun.  Earth stands no chance against a star.  Sure, a third of rivers and springs on all of Earth being destroyed sounds destructive, but it’s not compared to what a star would really do, which is completely wipe out the Earth.  Come on God, you’re supposed to be all-knowing!  Did you flunk 4th grade science?