Revelation 20:4-5

Guess what?  We’re not done with zombies in the Bible.  It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and once again, I’ve pulled a verse about zombies.

“They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. (The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection.” – Revelation 20:4-5

More zombies!!!  I’m beginning to think the Bible is less an attempt to convert the masses and more just some dude’s attempt to write the next great horror novel.  😊


Revelation 8:10

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse is a great example of bad science in the Bible.

“The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water.” Revelation 8:10

How do we know this is bad science?  Well, for starters, we’re still here.  If a star fell from the sky and struck Earth, Earth would be completely vaporized and wiped from existence.  It’s that simple!  Consider the Sun.  The Sun is so big that it would take 1.3 million Earths to fill it.  Wow!  And some stars are bigger than the Sun.  Earth stands no chance against a star.  Sure, a third of rivers and springs on all of Earth being destroyed sounds destructive, but it’s not compared to what a star would really do, which is completely wipe out the Earth.  Come on God, you’re supposed to be all-knowing!  Did you flunk 4th grade science?

Revelation 6:12-14

Today is my favorite day of the week because it’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday!!!  Today’s crazy verses come from the last book in the Bible, Revelation.  Revelation is filled with all sorts of crazy, but today I pull out a huge dose of anti-science.

“I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. The heavens receded like a scroll being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.” – Revelation 6:12-14

Let me focus specifically on the sun and the moon in these three verses.  Can the sun turn black?  Not exactly, but it will appear black during a total solar eclipse, so as written, this could be a possibility.  However, the crazy anti-science comes into play with the words on the moon.  Can the moon appear blood red?  Sure, during a total lunar eclipse or possibly when a full moon is rising or setting.  For a lunar eclipse or the rising/setting of the sun, atmospheric effects due to Earth’s atmosphere cause this temporary change in observed color.

Treating the sun and the moon separately, both are possible.  However, they are not possible at the same time.  A lunar eclipse occurs when the moon is in its full phase.  A solar eclipse can only occur when the moon is in its new phase.  The moon cannot be in a full and new phase at the same time. This is simple geometry, but geometry God gets wrong in the Bible.  So much for an all-knowing god.  Getting science correct on this issue is not difficult.  Middle school and high school students can understand it, but not the god of the Bible.

Revelation 2:20-23

It’s crazy Bible verse Tuesday and I’m continuing to focus on the words of Jesus.  There’s a lot of crazy in the Old Testament, but it’s important to note that the crazy does not stop in the New Testament.  Here’s a bit from Jesus in Revelation.

“Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. I will strike her children dead.” – Revelation 2:20-23

Let me put a little bit of context behind this.  In Revelation, Jesus is giving John a message that he writes down.  This particular message is given to John to be given to the church of Thyatira.

There’s several problems with these few verses.  First, Jezebel is supposedly distracting the men.  Really?  Can the men not control their urges?  Those men make their own choices.  If they are choosing to be sexually immoral and eating the wrong food, that is their choice.  Jezebel is not making them do this.  Second, Jesus/God is going punish Jezebel for the actions of the men?  I guess Jesus hates women too.  Third, Jesus/God is going to kill Jezebel’s children.  What the hell did her children do?  Her children are innocent!  Just like God, the Son of God, Jesus, is an immoral bastard who kills innocents.