2 Chronicles – Chapter 34: Josiah’s Reforms

Today we move to 2 Chronicles 34 which repeats the story of King Josiah, the king who does everything God wants, but God still has him killed in battle.

“She said to them, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Tell the man who sent you to me, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people—all the curses written in the book that has been read in the presence of the king of Judah.’’” – 2 Chronicles 34:23-24

Similar to 2 Kings, God punishes those who he didn’t tell the law to.

I won’t bother adding anything else. Just read the posts on 2 Kings 22. This chapter is just a repeat of that chapter.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 35: Josiah Celebrates the Passover

2 Kings – Chapter 23: Josiah Renews the Covenant

In the last chapter in 2 Kings we learned that God punishes people before he tells them the laws he wants them to follow. What will we learn today? Let’s find out.

“The king stood by the pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the Lord—to follow the Lord and keep his commands, statutes and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, thus confirming the words of the covenant written in this book. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant.” – 2 Kings 23:3

The king and his people agree to follow God’s laws.

“Although the priests of the high places did not serve at the altar of the Lord in Jerusalem, they ate unleavened bread with their fellow priests.” – 2 Kings 23:9

They ate the wrong bread, of course they should be punished. LOL

“Then Josiah looked around, and when he saw the tombs that were there on the hillside, he had the bones removed from them and burned on the altar to defile it, in accordance with the word of the Lord proclaimed by the man of God who foretold these things.” – 2 Kings 23:16

God told Josiah to burn bones? Um…sure. Read the verse carefully. God didn’t actually say this. It is God supposedly speaking through a prophet who says this. Sounds like the prophet was just trying to see what crazy things he could make the king do!

“Josiah slaughtered all the priests of those high places on the altars and burned human bones on them.” – 2 Kings 23:20

Remember that Josiah did right in the eyes of God. God approves of the slaughter of the priests.

“Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses. Nevertheless, the Lord did not turn away from the heat of his fierce anger, which burned against Judah because of all that Manasseh had done to arouse his anger.” – 2 Kings 23:25-26

Bahahahaha! Josiah does everything God has asked but God turns around and says, nope, I’m still fucking pissed and you shall pay!!!

“While Josiah was king, Pharaoh Necho king of Egypt went up to the Euphrates River to help the king of Assyria. King Josiah marched out to meet him in battle, but Necho faced him and killed him at Megiddo.” – 2 Kings 23:29

The king who does everything God wants is killed in battle. LOL! The god of the Bible is the greatest asshole in storytelling history.

“He (Jehoahaz) did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:32

Good, bad, doesn’t matter. God still unjustly punishes the people.

“Jehoiakim was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eleven years. His mother’s name was Zebidah daughter of Pedaiah; she was from Rumah. And he did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his predecessors had done.” – 2 Kings 23:37

Another bad king, but God is worse.

So what did we learn? We learned that God doesn’t give a shit if you do everything he asks. God will still punish you and kill you before your time. It’s his way. He’s an asshole.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 34: Josiah’s Reforms

Obadiah 8

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse tells us everything you need to know about the god of the Bible. He (or rather the authors who made him up) don’t want you to think.

“‘In that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘will I not destroy the wise men of Edom, those of understanding in the mountains of Esau?’” – Obadiah 8

Thinking is prohibited in the Bible. Gaining knowledge is against the law of God. Because to think critically will open holes in the belief of God. Therefore critically thinking through issues is bad in the Bible.

2 Kings – Chapter 22: The Book of the Law Found

Today we return to the book of 2 Kings where the book of law has been found. Finally we will know the truth of which laws to follow. Um…sure.

“He (Josiah) did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left.” – 2 Kings 22:2

Josiah did right in the eyes of God. Will he be rewarded or punished as others who have also done right?

“But they need not account for the money entrusted to them, because they are honest in their dealings.” – 2 Kings 22:7

Too often Christians believe the same thing of other Christians and all of a sudden you learn money is stolen from the church coffers!

“When the king heard the words of the Book of the Law, he tore his robes.” – 2 Kings 22:11

An interesting reaction to reading a book.

“Great is the Lord’s anger that burns against us because those who have gone before us have not obeyed the words of this book; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written there concerning us.” – 2 Kings 22:13

Ah, the asshole God who would punish those for going against a law they did not know because they just found the fucking law book. SMH.

“This is what the Lord says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people, according to everything written in the book the king of Judah has read.” – 2 Kings 22:17

Yep, an asshole God.

“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard:Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people—that they would become a curse and be laid waste—and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I also have heard you, declares the Lord. Therefore I will gather you to your ancestors, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.” – 2 Kings 22:18-20

How kind of God! He will lay waste to your land and kill you, but you’ll be buried in peace. LOL!

This chapter gives us a look at how God operates. He doesn’t care if you’ve ever seen the laws. You may have no idea what the laws are, but God is going to punish you if you break them. But remember, he loves you.

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 23: Josiah Renews the Covenant

Review of Nahum

The book of Nahum was a very short book in the Bible consisting of only three chapters. Nahum is a minor prophet in the Bible and tells the story of God coming back to protect the people of invading armies. Of course, God could step in and provide peace at any time, but he doesn’t. He allows harm to take place.

The book of Nahum is the perfect example of one ‘saving the day’ by putting out the fire the same one intentionally started. God has brought war and destruction to the land by his hand and now says he’s going to bring peace. Sorry God, too little, too late. Along the way of bringing this ‘peace’, innocent children and babies are killed. This book directly states that babies were dashed to pieces on the streets.

A moral God? Nope. Not in the least.

Nahum – Chapter 3: Woe to Nineveh

Today we take a look at the third chapter in Nahum. Thus far in the first two chapters we’ve seen an angry God that says he will put out the fires he intentionally started. Sure.

“Many casualties, piles of dead, bodies without number, people stumbling over the corpses—” – Nahum 3:3

God has the ability to bring peace, but doesn’t.

“…all because of the wanton lust of a prostitute, alluring, the mistress of sorceries, who enslaved nation, by her prostitution, and peoples by her witchcraft.” – Nahum 3:4

Um, sure. Let’s blame women. Fuck God.

“Her infants were dashed to pieces at every street corner.” – Nahum 3:10

God killing babies.

Sigh. God can bring peace, but this chapter is nothing but the destruction God causes. Babies are dashed to pieces in the streets for crying out loud!

And thus ends the book of Nahum.

Coming Soon: 2 Kings – Chapter 22: The Book of the Law Found

Exodus 12:12

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today we take a look back in the Old Testament which is filled with all sorts of juicy verses that make zero sense.

“On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the Lord.” – Exodus 12:12

Think about this for a bit. God is going to kill all of the firstborn people and animals in Egypt because the Egyptians are causing harm to the Israelites. Why are the Egyptians causing harm? Because God hardened their hearts and is forcing them to cause harm.

On top of that nonsense, God is going to kill a bunch of innocent people and animals. Why the animals? Among those people will be young children and babies. God, the baby killer.