Obadiah – Obadiah’s Vision

Today we switch over to a new chapter, Obadiah. Obadiah is a very short chapter consisting of just one chapter and 21 verses.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord says about Edom…” – Obadiah 1

This sets the theme of the chapter.

“Though you soar like the eagle and make your nest among the stars,  from there I will bring you down,’ declares the Lord.” – Obadiah 4

God making it clear he will not be fucked with.

“‘In that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘will I not destroy the wise men of Edom,   those of understanding in the mountains of Esau?’” – Obadiah 8

God sure does love causing harm to people.

“You should not gloat over your brother  in the day of his misfortune, nor rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their destruction, nor boast so much  in the day of their trouble.” – Obadiah 12

Why not? God boasts and gloats all the time.

“The day of the Lord is near for all nations.” – Obadiah 15

Hard to take this seriously when God has never appeared and will never appear to the people.

“There will be no survivors from Esau.” – Obadiah 18

Kill the innocents!

“And the kingdom will be the Lord’s.” – Obadiah 21

The kingdom of blood and murder is the kingdom of God.

That concludes the book of Obadiah. Not sure what the point of this book is supposed to get across. God is killing? God wants bloodshed? Innocents will be killed? Because that is what this book tells us.

Coming Soon: Psalm – Chapter 82: A psalm of Asaph.

Advertisements

2 Chronicles – Chapter 23: Untitled

More of 2 Chronicles today.

“No one is to enter the temple of the Lord except the priests and Levites on duty; they may enter because they are consecrated, but all the others are to observe the Lord’s command not to enter.” – 2 Chronicles 23:6

Apparently the god who never shows himself needs his personal space.

“Then Athaliah tore her robes and shouted, “Treason! Treason!” – 2 Chronicles 23:13

Why is it people in the Bible tear their clothes or rip off their hair whenever they get mad? Why can’t they just throw things like normal people. 🙂

“Jehoiada then made a covenant that he, the people and the king[c]would be the Lord’s people.” – 2 Chronicles 23:16

Sorry to say, but the Lord is going to disappoint Jehoiada and his people just like God disappoints everyone in the end.

“All the people of the land rejoiced, and the city was calm, because Athaliah had been slain with the sword.” – 2 Chronicles 23:21

And the land lived in peace forever and ever. LOL! Of course not! Eventually these people will piss God off and God will start up the murdering again.

So many kings. So many mad people. So much murder. Sigh. Typical Biblical morals.

Coming Soon: Obadiah – Obadiah’s Vision

1 Corinthians 7:18

Today’s Crazy Bible Verse is quite crazy and you’ll see why very quickly.

“Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised.” – 1 Corinthians 7:18

How does one become uncircumcised? Are there bottles of foreskins lying around in Biblical times and healers sewing these random foreskins back on circumcised dicks? I mean, that would be a pretty interesting story but unfortunately that story isn’t in the Bible. So why talk about becoming uncircumcised?

Ezra 9:3

It’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday and today’s verse shows how hateful the characters in the Bible can be toward others unlike them.

“When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled.” – Ezra 9:3

Ezra is referring to the moment he heard intermarriage between tribes was taking place. Because how dare people marry the people they love. This is also quite the ridiculous reaction to hearing this. Pulling out your hair? Christ that’s a lot of hate built up! But look at how people react to same sex marriages today and you can see the level of hate still exists in this world.

2 Chronicles – Chapter 18: Micaiah Prophesies Against Ahab

Today’s chapter is a repeat of 1 Kings 21, as if that chapter wasn’t already silly enough.

“So now the Lord has put a deceiving spirit in the mouths of these prophets of yours. The Lord has decreed disaster for you.” – 2 Chronicles 18:22

In case you didn’t get the message in the last chapter. God is knowingly deceiving the people.

“All day long the battle raged, and the king of Israel propped himself up in his chariot facing the Arameans until evening. Then at sunset he died.” – 2 Chronicles 18:34

And once again, God gets what he wants, death.

Interesting that the authors of the Bible found this story of God’s deception so important they included it twice. It basically shows God is a deceiver, a liar.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 19: Jehoshaphat Appoints Judges

1 Kings – Chapter 22: Micaiah Prophesies Against Ahab

The last few chapters of 1 Kings have sent horrible messages and are anything but moral. Let’s see what this chapter has in store for us.

“Micaiah continued, ‘Therefore hear the word of the Lord: I saw the Lord sitting on his throne with all the multitudes of heaven standing around him on his right and on his left. And the Lord said, ‘Who will entice Ahab into attacking Ramoth Gilead and going to his death there?’ ‘One suggested this, and another that. Finally, a spirit came forward, stood before the Lord and said, ‘I will entice him.’ ‘By what means?’ the Lord asked. ‘I will go out and be a deceiving spirit in the mouths of all his prophets,’ he said. ‘You will succeed in enticing him,’ said the Lord. ‘Go and do it.’ ‘So now the Lord has put a deceiving spirit in the mouths of all these prophets of yours. The Lord has decreed disaster for you.’” – 1 Kings 19-23

Wow! This is a huge word salad of nonsense but ultimately results in the Lord sending out deceiving spirits so people can die.

“So the king died and was brought to Samaria, and they buried him there.” – 1 Kings 21:37

And God’s bloodlust is satisfied…for now.

The chapter ends with a few more verses on new kings who came and went, because they did evil in the eyes of the Lord. In the end, nobody, not even the most righteous man of all, Job, can satisfy God.

Coming Soon: 2 Chronicles – Chapter 18: Micaiah Prophesies Against Ahab

1 Kings – Chapter 21: Naboth’s Vineyard

Today we continue in 1 Kings, which means the ridiculous nonsense we’ve heard so far will likely continue. A reminder of an example of the ridiculousness is the man who was eaten by a lion for not trying to strike down another man with a sword. Yep, it’s in the Bible folks.

“So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, ‘I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.’ He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.” 1 Kings 21:4

Man, what a cry baby!

“So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him.” – 1 Kings 21:8

This is not a very nice thing Ahab’s wife did.

“Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, ‘Naboth has cursed both God and the king.’ So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death.” – 1 Kings 21:13

And just like that Naboth is killed. No trial. God does nothing to stop this evil.

“When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.” – 1 Kings 21:16

Not nice!

“Say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!’” – 1 Kings 21:19

Too little too late God. You could have stopped this before the murder.

“He says, ‘I am going to bring disaster on you. I will wipe out your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free.’” – 1 Kings 21:21

And now God goes on to dole out punishment and death to the innocent descendants.

“(There was never anyone like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord, urged on by Jezebel his wife. He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the Lord drove out before Israel.)” – 1 Kings 21:25-26

Seriously? No one like Ahab? God has done FAR more evil than Ahab.

“When Ahab heard these words, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and fasted. He lay in sackcloth and went around meekly. Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite: ‘Have you noticed how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself, I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it on his house in the days of his son.’” – 1 Kings 21:27-28

What…the…fuck?!?!?! Ahab puts a bag over his head and God is all like “this dude is cool now, I will not kill him, but I sure as fuck am going to harm his kids.”

Wow! What a horrible story! More innocent descendants to be killed but what makes it worse is the end. God decides to spare Ahad, but is still going to harm the descendants. Christians…read the book you worship! It’s not a good book!

Coming Soon: 1 Kings – Chapter 22: Micaiah Prophesies Against Ahab