2 Maccabees 9:9

Some, although not all, versions of the Bible contain the books of Maccabees.  I’ve been using the New International Version of the Bible in my discussion and these books are not included, but there is a verse describing zombies, so I can’t help but include it for this week’s Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday.  Maybe I should rename this “Crazy Bible Zombie Verse Tuesday”???

“So that worms swarmed out of the body of this man, and whilst he lived in sorrow and pain, his flesh fell off, and the filthiness of his smell was noisome to the army.” – 2 Maccabees 9:9

Yikes!  Worms coming out of the body, still alive, flesh falling off, and smelly like filth.  Yep, that’s a zombie in the Bible!

Zechariah 14:12

We are now several weeks past Halloween, but I must continue with the zombie related verses in the Bible because there are so many of them.  Apparently God is a huge fan of zombies.  Thus for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday this week I present you a verse linking to zombies in the book of Zechariah.  If memory serves correctly, this is the first verse in Zechariah I’ve ever discussed on this blog.  Sweet!  Zombie sweet!

“This is the plague with which the Lord will strike all the nations that fought against Jerusalem: Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths.” – Zechariah 14:12

First, an asshole move by God to do this to those who fought against Jerusalem.  Let’s not forget what started all this fighting.  God hardened the hearts of the Egyptians and continued hardening hearts forever after.  Would there be a fight if these hearts weren’t hardened?  It’s quite possible the people would have come to a peace agreement, but God has no interest in peace.  This verse describes zombies quite well.  The people are still ‘alive’ and standing, but the flesh on their bodies is rotting.  Sounds like a zombie to me!  God sure does love him some zombies!

Matthew 27:51-53

Yes, it’s December and we are more than a month removed from Halloween, but there are so many zombie related verses in the Bible that I can’t stop just yet!  Thus for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday I bring you yet another verse on zombies in the Bible.

“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.” – Matthew 27:51-53

Zombies roaming the land!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Bible is an early attempt to introduce zombies in main stream entertainment culture.  😊

Ezekiel 37:7-10

I love the book of Ezekiel!  It contains my favorite Bible verse, Ezekiel 23:20.  Today, however, for Crazy Bible Verse Tuesday, we continue looking at zombies in the Bible.

“So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’’  So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.” – Ezekiel 37:7-10

It’s a mother fucking army of zombies raised from the dead!  ROFL!  The start of a great zombie movie, but absolutely crazy when this is the book Christians claim is “God breathed”.  Are we really expected to believe zombies roamed the land?  Seriously?  Give me a break.  What’s crazier, a book with zombie stories that is supposed to be a set of rules on morals, or people who believe this book is the literal truth?  Yikes!